Fitgirl_xO Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 I'm a total dork when it comes to dating. I just can't read the signs. I dated someone a month ago, he was a complete jerk to me, but I played it out. In the end, he tried to take the cowards way out & all the emotions I repressed came out one black out drunk night via texts & phone calls. We will never speak again & I'm grateful. I learned A LOT from him on picking up on signs to tell if someone isn't as interested as I am in them. Moving on, there IS someone I'm curious about. We met at a bar, talked for a bit & he left. I then saw him at the gym I go to. Saw him at the same bar again, but I sat at a table in the back, he with his friends playing pool. After another week or so I accidentally walked into him at the gym, chatted him up a bit ("Didn't we meet a few weeks ago? Yea I thought that was you") & went on my way. I don't want to waste my energy or time on someone who may not be interested. What sort of next move should I expect if he is? Generally I would think if he actually was he'd have asked for my number or sought me out for more of a conversation, but I'd like to know what other people think.
KatZee Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Yeah, he's not really coming off interested at all. You talked to him for a short while, and then he just left. You then saw him at the gym (I'm assuming you didn't speak to him), saw him at the bar again with his friends (again I'm assuming you didn't speak to him), saw him at the gym again and just said "Oh didn't I meet you?" Not really much conversation to work with there, he just said "Yeah." And moved on. There's really no connection going on here, no banter between you two... you're kind of expecting him to come up and get your number because you spoke to him once and randomly have seen his face but not interacted since? If you want to spark a guy's interest you're going to have to do much more than whatever this is. 1
Carenth Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 (edited) I can tell you are interested. uuhhh him yeah no, not so much. If I was in his shoes, I might be interested, I might be not. You haven't really done anything to indicate you are interested other than bumping into him a few times and expecting him to realise you are interested. (Pro Tip: This is way too subtle most people are pretty dense when it comes to noticing other people are interested in them via subtle means.) How about stop playing the passive role waiting for him to do something and initiate it yourself? Edited June 12, 2013 by Carenth 1
Author Fitgirl_xO Posted June 12, 2013 Author Posted June 12, 2013 Thanks Kat Yeah I usually am a hell of a lot more proactive, but all those instances have left me with bad outcomes. I'm actually afraid of putting myself out there only do have it blow up in my face again. I wanted to see if a different approach would work. I actually never considered him because I met him at a bar originally. That's usually not the most promising place to meet someone, but it was only after I saw him at the gym that I re-considered he could possibly be more than just one of those typical loser bar guys. My gym time is very limited & since we don't know each other I didn't want to be up in his space trying to have a long drawn out conversation when he may just need to get his sets done & get to work, home, whatever he has to do. He did reach for my hand and smile & said he looked forward to seeing me, (and checked me out as I walked off, go go mirrors). I think I'm over-thinking this & need to just relax, be myself & see what happens
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