Crafty Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Hello first post on here. I know I'm young... But any words of wisdoms would be great So I'm 18, he's 18. I met him in December when celebrating my birthday and he was out partying (he's friends with my friend's boyfriend and he introduced us). We met on a drunken night out, kissed but he was really nice and polite and walked me back to my friends when I lost them. And he's very very cute! He added me on fb and we started chatting and texting for a short while. Good flowing convo, joking around etc. He said he liked talking to me and even mentioned going for a coffee one day (how was I so stupid to not follow this up :@). He even messaged me on fb asking if I was receiving his texts cause I wasn't replying (I actually wasn't receiving his texts, network problem I guess). So I'd assume he was in someway interested too. And then just when things were going good, I had to leave for a holiday i already planned and was gone for a few weeks over Christmas and new year. He wished me a good enjoyable trip etc. After I got back, I messaged him on fb to see how he was going. He replied being all friendly etc, I replied back but then he didn't reply back to continue the convo :/ whether he just forgot to reply, I don't know :/ cause at that point in time he didn't use Facebook much and was texting more but I didn't have a reliable phone at that time so just used fb to communicate with him. I have no idea if he has tried to contact me through text via an old number and I haven't received it or he has just lost all interest in me. I don't have a clue. A few months have passed now (I ended up getting back together with my ex in those months btw and yeah that didn't work out. Single again ) and I've recently just started thinking about him again. I would really like an opportunity with him. Problem is he is incredibly attractive! And I'm average... Basically, he could get a lot of attractive girls if he wanted to but he does seen like a genuinely nice guy. I don't know how to reconnect with him. He didn't reply back to my last message a few months ago which makes me nervous to start up a convo in case I look desperate but who knows if he's tried to text me and I haven't received it (being optimistic here lol). Any witty/easy going message I can send him that doesn't sound desperate lol? For the past few weeks I've only hoped to see him at a party through our mutual friend but that hasn't happened yet
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 No. You know why? Because there's nothing you could say that won't be anything other than obvious. You tried once. No dice. let things take their natural course, because chasing is sooooo undignified in a young lady.
PogoStick Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Just directly ask him out. Who cares if you look desperate? (a message spaced months apart doesn't look desperate anyways) If he doesn't like you then it doesn't matter if you annoy him, but there is a chance he will be interested and there is only one way to know. Call him, and directly ask him out! If he doesn't answer leave him a voicemail simply saying you wondered if he wants to see movie XYZ, or whatever. Be direct!
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Two completely opposing views. Which one resonates better? Go with it!
RogerWallace111 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Whoa there Tara, take it easy ! You old naysayer, you ! I don't know if I'm fully with Pogo's approach, but I agree that it really doesn't matter if you sound "desperate". Which I don't think you would anyway. I'd say do anything between sending him a simple message saying "Hey!", and, if you're feeling bold, actually calling and asking him out. As long as you're upbeat and straightforward it won't come across as desperate. In fact it's really hard for someone to sound genuinely positive and desperate at the same time.
Cutiepie1976 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I hate to be practical here, but can you now reliably receive texts on your phone? Because if the answer is still no, this is all sort of a pointless exercise in futility, wouldn't you say? You won't know if he's responding, and he won't know what's happening if he's sending texts...a big IF he was ever sending texts. Did you have difficulties receiving texts from other friends? Or just him? If your technical issues are resolved, nothing wrong with letting him know you're still alive. A simple "hi" suffices. See where he takes that. Have to say, not very promising though. He never bothered to ask you out before. He doesn't seem interested given everything you've done. At some point, you just have to stop wasting your time waiting around and move on to more promising waters. Overeager and chasing a guy might get you noticed, but very rarely does it go where you hope it will. TaraMaiden is right.
InsaneTrombone Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 You haven't spoken to him in months. If he was interested at the time he would be pursuing you, but you wouldn't look 'desperate' trying to get back in contact with him by tossing him a message. Look, it's probably a shot in the dark anywho, but if you don't try it's going to keep bothering you. If nothing comes out of it, you can move on to the next thing without a doubt.
Carenth Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Whatever you do don't do what an ex-colleague of mine did last week. Directly sending me a message asking how I was doing and if I still had a girlfriend. Replied saying I still had a girlfriend and asking how they were doing (haven't seen or spoken to them in over a year and a half). No reply, super awkward.
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