bswzzl Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Okay so this is gonna be pretty long which I'm guessing most of these posts are, this is my first time on this site btw. A bit of background on us: -I'm 16, she just turned 17. -We're both girls. -At the time we dated, we both considered ourselves bisexual, but she just had some kind of realization shes a lesbian.. -We're both single right now. A bit of background info on our relationship: -Met in December through a mutual friend. -Confessed to liking each other a few days later. -By mid-December we considered ourselves a couple. -Late December, her and the mutual friend we met through came over to my house to spend the night -Early January, my mom found out about her and got mad at me and yelled and called her a slut and I told her and she was upset and thought it was her fault that my mom found out. -This guy that added me on Facebook through her started messaging me, I knew him from school a few years ago and I knew he was an ******* but she didn't and thought everything he did was serious. -One night he was messaging me and said "Oh on a scale of 1 to 10 how much would you rather do me than your girlfriend." I thought of it as a stupid joke made by the typical ******* joke of a guy so I sent it to her and she thought he was serious. -That was early January. -She made this Facebook video talking about her being bi, and about being with me. She said things like "being with her is the best thing for me." "shes wonderful and I don't know how to treat her because the person I was with before was such a terrible person and she's so kind and so wonderful." "even with all the drama and her mom not approving, its so worth it" -3 days later, she broke up with me. -I asked why, she said something along the lines of: "I just can't be happy right now, my family is hell, work is like getting a punch in the face and school drains me even more. I figure its better to end it with you when I can't take it anymore than hurt any chance of us and or you being happy. and just your mom finding out, us having to hide it, your friends counting me out(my friends are shy as hell so they didn't really talk to her), that ******* trying to weasle his way in(the guy mentioned above that texted me that stupid thing)" -I overreacted because it was my first real relationship. I was so confused because just days earlier she said everything was worth it and that she was so happy with me. -My friends started yelling at her and contacting her without me knowing and things got out of hand quickly. -This spans the next 2 months after the break up so up until Spring Break I didn't even know they were doing this. We made a no contact kinda thing even though she said when we broke up that she hoped I'd still be her friend. -She told one of the friends "You wanna know why I won't ever get back together with her? Its because she sends her friends to do **** like this" -I told her I had no idea until she showed me the messages and she didn't really address it. -She got a boyfriend over Spring Break, a guy who when we were dating she used to say she hated, and called him demeaning things like ******* or fat ass etc. -They lasted like a month. -The next week she started dating some guy she met through Facebook taht lives a few hours away. -That lasted a few weeks. -The next week she had this ""realization"" that she was a lesbian. Let's skip to last week: -I started talking to her about a week after that after not speaking at all for 2 months. -She asked after a few texts why I started talking to her again I said I just missed having someone to talk about music and everything else to and she said she missed talking to me too. -Ever since then we've texted everyday, its mostly her texting me first. -She's in summer school and she texts me every morning saying something about it and I text back and after awhile I stop texting back because I have nothing else to say but everytime I do this, like an hour later she texts me again starting another convo. -I mentioned staying at my dad's house and needing some people to come over to give me an excuse to not hang out with the neighbor all the time and she replied saying I will!!! so I invited her and the mutual friend we met through to come stay over at the beginning of next month for a few days and she agreed and seemed excited. -Other things that are kinda confusing me right now; she likes random things I do on Facebook like she used to when we were dating, like she pays attention I guess. She likes statuses, and likes my comments on a mutual friends stupid status. But earlier tonight, she posted a status on Facebook saying, "i think i like you..but we got off on the wrong foot soo i was awkward and you'll probably never like me back because im always an idiot around you..yaaay" That made me sad for a lot of reasons, obviously. But I knew it wasn't about me even though we were just talking and I helped her out with some online shopping troubles like 5 minutes earlier and she was very appreciative. I thought I was starting to rebuild some kind of connection. We are talking again like how when we first met. It feels nice, and I feel the same way I did when we first met. I'm too afraid to bring up our relationship to her though because I don't wanna lose her being in my life at all again. I know I'm supposed to be in her life, and I just would love to be there as her girlfriend. Not even because of me but because of how we connect and how happy she said I made her. The mutual friend we met through always used to say that I made her happy and that I was the only good relationship she'd had and that I treated her really good. That made everything with my mom worth it because I loved nothing more than making her happy. She identifies as goth and I accepted that and everything that comes with it, most people don't. We have everything in common, and I'm not over exaggerating. We like everything the other does, from music to movies to stance on issues going on in the world and everything else. I've never had that with someone. Someone help me out? How do I further my chances of getting her back?
TaraMaiden Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 The fact that you're both girls is immaterial. First of all - and you may not like to hear this - neither of you is mentally equipped to consider the intensity and complication of a heavy relationship, and this is why: Read here. Secondly - you posted in another thread how easy it is to be in touch with your ex, even if it's just for friendship. TbH, I was sceptical there, and this proves my scepticism. Please read the No Contact Guide (link in my signature) through, several times. It's the first post - but the remainder of the thread is sobering reading too. The crux is: You can never ever remain a friend to someone who holds your heart in their hands. Can't be done. Go No Contact, because that's the only way you can move on, heal, know yourself better, develop and mature. And I don't mean that patronisingly. 1
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