amkxoxo Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 I think the guy I'm seeing is a master manipulator. He's very intelligent and many times when we have conversations where I bring up important topics, he can almost talk me out of what I am saying. He has told me before that if there are topics or questions he doesn't want to answer he is great at changing the subject, which I have now witnessed. There have been times where I have gotten mad at him and when we talk about it, he ends up talking me out of everything, and by the end of the conversation I end up feeling bad, when I haven't done anything. He has a lot of sexual experience, where I have none. I think he has put ideas in my head to the point where I'm lusting after him. Its kind of freaky. I don't mind and I kind of find it hot, but should I be concerned that he is so savvy??
FrustratedGuy91 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Real manipulators don't tell you their tricks, and manipulate many people, calculate every outcome. At best he just thinks he's cool for being able to talk people down and he's bragging about it. I wouldn't worry much about that. Also, what's the nature of your relationship? Just a fling? Something serious? based on that I could offer you some male insight.
happywithlife Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Since I don't know your exact situation, you should at the very least proceed with extreme caution if you are looking at this as a potential long-term relationship. This has nothing to do with anyone's level of sexual experience. Put your lust aside (which can be very hard) and ask yourself, can I build a solid partnership with this person or will it always be one-sided? If your partner does not bring out the best in you and support you, walk away and don't look back.
TaraMaiden Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 I think the guy I'm seeing is a master manipulator. Let's get this straight: First of all, you're not 'seeing' him. That's what YOU think is happening. He knows different. he as good as told you this wasn't going to continue once he left, and clearly indicated everything was very much one-sided. He's very intelligent and many times when we have conversations where I bring up important topics, he can almost talk me out of what I am saying. He has told me before that if there are topics or questions he doesn't want to answer he is great at changing the subject, which I have now witnessed. I don't think he's so much a 'Master manipulator' as you are a 'willing victim and doormat. Sorry to be harsh, but the truth of the matter is, that if you were not so besotted, taken and puppy-like over him, he wouldn't manage to do this. he gets away with it because you weaken, and let him. You don't 'fight back' or insist on continuing. You back down, because of how you feel about him. You don't want to get so mad and self-assured and confident, that you scare him off. So rather than risk irritating him, or refusing to play his game, you capitulate. Half of your annoyance, I'm sure, is with yourself, for letting him steam-roller you. There have been times where I have gotten mad at him and when we talk about it, he ends up talking me out of everything, and by the end of the conversation I end up feeling bad, when I haven't done anything Why?? Why do you let him get away with this?? He's just a kid! If he tried that with me, I'd chew him up, spit him out and leave him whimpering in a corner! You need - as I indicated in your other thread - to develop your spine and harden up. He gets away with this, not because he's intelligent, manipulative of domineering. He gets away with it - because you give him the power, permission and ammunition to do so!! He has a lot of sexual experience, where I have none. I think he has put ideas in my head to the point where I'm lusting after him. Its kind of freaky. I don't mind and I kind of find it hot, but should I be concerned that he is so savvy?? No. You should be more concerned that as things are going, you are setting yourself up to be used purely for sexual gratification, if you keep hankering after him. He doesn't love you. He's 'using' you as a sounding board, and probably would happily have sex with you - but not to appease or please you. But because he knows he could, he knows you'd let him - and because he knows he could repeat the experience any time he wants. in between probably screwing other girls, that is.
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