How Many Times Have You Broke Contact ?

[bluegreen]

Question is simple in what way did you do it and after how long ?

Edited June 12, 2013 by bluegreen
Broke NC rule I meant

[Giha]

Once after a week. Wanted to see if she was willing to fix things. She said no so I politely wished her all the luck and happiness she deserves and said goodbye.

 

Not going to contact her again.

[bswzzl]

I lasted 2 months which surprised me and I cracked after hearing she'd been struggling with self medication so I just said hi to her over text but didn't bring that up. Now we're talking everyday and shes the one initiating every convo!

[bluegreen]

Interesting in most cases they don't answer back

[Chris715]

I lasted 2 months which surprised me and I cracked after hearing she'd been struggling with self medication so I just said hi to her over text but didn't bring that up. Now we're talking everyday and shes the one initiating every convo!

Wow, hearing stuff like this makes me hate NC :/

[bswzzl]

Wow, hearing stuff like this makes me hate NC :/

 

I'm sorry friend! It all depends on the circumstances, I was just really lucky that she didn't hold grudges against all the drama I caused after she dumped me.

 

I realized that she didn't know she did me so wrong when she dumped me, then after thinking about it, I realized she had every reason to break up with me and that she was doing it for me to be happy and herself as well. I do still want her back and us being in contact again has given me a little sliver oh hope.

 

But if you realize the breakup was for the best, and you're okay with just being in each other's life again, relationship or just friends then it's okay to break NC. To me it is at least. That's what made me realize I had no reason to keep up the NC anymore.

[bluegreen]

Lucky bastard LOL

[th90]

ZERO :lmao:

[bluegreen]

Are you sorry you did not or just feeling plain bad about NC?

[Chris715]

Are you sorry you did not or just feeling plain bad about NC?

I just hate doing NC even though it's probably what my ex wants. I hate how it's supposed to be a permanent thing but when I hear success stories of people breaking it it's all the more tempting for me to do it too. And realistically I don't think I'll maintain NC with her forever... So maybe I've already failed, I dunno.

[bluegreen]

Yes reading about it does not help at all somehow makes craving even worse

[Calcmag]

I'm the dumper this time - past threads discuss the situation in full.

But to be clear, during the break up, my ex asked me to please go NC with him to help him move on. I agreed. I found it tough. I wanted to check in with him, I craved contact, even just a text or email, but didn't give in to the urge.

 

He contacted me several weeks after the BU. I ignored that because he'd asked me for NC. Then he contacted me again two further times, the third time was an email pouring his heart out and asking for another chance. I couldn't ignore that so I replied. That then led to LC over a period of about 3 weeks. I realised it wasn't helping either of us and have now insisted on NC again.

 

Point of all this? We are both now feeling even worse than we did immediately post-break up.

All his breaking of NC achieved was false hope, more regrets and jumping several steps back in the recovery/moving on process. It was a huge mistake for both of us.

[bluegreen]

I'm the dumper this time - past threads discuss the situation in full.

But to be clear, during the break up, my ex asked me to please go NC with him to help him move on. I agreed. I found it tough. I wanted to check in with him, I craved contact, even just a text or email, but didn't give in to the urge.

 

He contacted me several weeks after the BU. I ignored that because he'd asked me for NC. Then he contacted me again two further times, the third time was an email pouring his heart out and asking for another chance. I couldn't ignore that so I replied. That then led to LC over a period of about 3 weeks. I realised it wasn't helping either of us and have now insisted on NC again.

 

Point of all this? We are both now feeling even worse than we did immediately post-break up.

All his breaking of NC achieved was false hope, more regrets and jumping several steps back in the recovery/moving on process. It was a huge mistake for both of us.

 

 

That's really to bad

[Calcmag]

Yea, I think the important thing to try to hang on to about dealing with the urge - the craving - for contact is to remember that we don't have to give in to the urge. It's uncomfortable to ride those urges out, but we can do it.

 

Breaking NC rarely seems to achieve whatever the NC breaker wants to achieve.

[bluegreen]

That's what we all try to do but some of as fail or are close to it some would never admit that they have done it I have yet to see one who said NC did not bother them at all.

[SimonSerenade]

Contacted her through iMessage a day after the break up as we were still talking about it, called her the night after the hospital rang me and gave me some bad news, called her on Sunday to find out when she was going to return some money to me, she didn't answer and contacted her over a Facebook message last 2 nights a go to tell her I'm leaving her be and to keep the money, have since deleted my Facebook and deactivated iMessage on my iPod, not contacting her is easy, for some reason she thinks she can justify being angry at me and talking to me like crap, who the hell wants to talk to someone like that, the only thing I miss right now is my money especially now ps4 has been announced.

[hotpotato]

Right after break up I sent current x a few emails, mostly about some stuff of his I had. Three weeks went by, and I sent a letter. He responded by calling in the morning, which he has never done. Honestly, I was a bit concerned because it was so out of character. The next day I sent a text. In the end he sent two and I sent two, but I haven't responded in the past 2 weeks.

 

I noticed he also texted me at the times he normally would (around 6pm an around 10). I guess old habits die hard. But we will not be texting or talking. He broke up with me, and I am no longer at his beck'n'call. He's going to get exactly WHAT HE ASKED FOR.

[tinker683]

3 times, each about 5 weeks or so apart from the BU

 

The first time was to tell her that I missed her and to chat for a bit. It consisted of only a few lines of text

 

The second time was when I got my new cat and asked her for advice on him. We chatted off and on for a few days and ended with "Feel free to text me anytime!" I didn't text her after that and she didn't text me at all.

 

The 3rd and last time was almost two months ago and I contacted her because I was feeling good about myself and felt like maybe it was time to reach out and try rebuilding a friendship. That was when she told me that she had been seeing a guy for several weeks. At this point we had only been broken up about 3 months or so. That hit me really hard and I realized I wasn't OK, I was in denial the whole time and hadn't really processed or gotten over much.

 

So I apologized to her, explained that to her, wished her and her new guy the best of luck. She responded that she understood and that "the offer [for friendship] was always on the table"

 

I havent contacted her sense and decided I'm not going too ever again unless I have a damned good reason.

 

In retrospect, my contacting her was, I feel, pretty pathetic on my part and I wish I had not done it. But, whats done is done and now I'm just trying to focus on moving forward.

 

To those of you contemplating breaking NC: I really wouldn't, you're only delaying your pain and inviting more pain if you find out they're seeing someone or have been seeing someone, especially if they had started seeing someone not too long after your break up. That crushed me and it's something I'm both glad I found out about (as it broke me out of my denial) but wishing I didn't know (because of how much it hurt me).

[BrokenHeartedSavior]

NEVER once I read the NC rule.

 

I called her back late last summer/early fall, thinking the message she left me was that day. It wasn't, and when she picked up the phone she said "OH, sorry, thoght it was someone else"

 

At that moment I realized she removed my name associated with my number from her phone. What a kick in the nutz!!! She erased me from her life.

 

Read the NO CONTACT rule, and haven't broken it since. Never will.

[lailax3]

I went into no contact a week after I was dumped. I had initially contacted him day 1 and day 2 of our breakup, regarding different things. I was ignored.

 

I then broke no contact a week and a half later because I wanted closure. This was done by sending him a text. He was also playing blocking/unblocking games with me on whatsapp which lead me to break no contact. He called me a hour after I had text him, but as soon as I had hit 'send', my no contact had started, so I never picked up or returned his call.

 

I've been in no contact for a week now. And I'm sticking to it.

Edited June 12, 2013 by lailax3
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[Mack05]

How many times have you broke contact?

 

In my lifetime....164 to be exact and counting. Not once did it turn out well. You would think after the previous 163 times of EPIC failure that I would have learnt a lesson? No..Absoutely not.

 

Some people think I am insane but I am convinced if I keep doing the same thing over and over again, then eventually the result will be different....

Edited June 12, 2013 by Mack05

[starlet86]

I broke no contact EVERY single day, repeatedly for 2 months. I would always say I'd do it, he'd contact me, I'd try and not reply, guaranteed before the day was over I had replied and fell asleep texting him. FINALLY I have gotten him to stop contacting me, so hopefully I will be good at NC this time. I am already twitching to break it though. Habits die hard.

[aloneinaz]

My now ex and I broke up 4 times in 15 months. The first time, she ended it after about 4 months, kind of quickly. I got pissed, started dating and went about two weeks before calling her on a Saturday. She was home, bored and answered the phone and we ended up getting back together. We broke up over xmas w/no one making the final call. We just stopped contacting each other. It was an epic break-up and I should of been done after what she pulled. I stopped at her house a month later and we had an emotional reconnection and got back together. The third time, she picked a stupid fight, got pissed and ended it. She contacted me 10 days later via email and we got back together. The same thing happened a couple weeks later when she got pissed over something stupid and worked herself up to dumping me yet again. We went 14 days before I emailed her, she came over and we got back together. The final break up fits the usual pattern. She got angry at me when I asked her to stop snapping, being short, talking to me in a poor tone, etc. She was outraged that I had the odacity to say stop it and... yup, she broke up with me.

 

It's been 12 days now. I'll be honest and say I'm struggling. I only need to remind myself how un-friendly she was the past two months. I also want to have some self respect and not chase her again. Enough is enough..

[simplyamazing]

0. No intention of breaking it. Ever. She's been erased from my life, and it will stay that way. My birthday is coming up, and if I see a text from her, it will be ignored.

[J_L_C]

My first ex, only for a couple days. 8 months later he reached out to me and we're close friends now. Recent ex, 10 months worth--at my hand admittedly, but he never stopped responding and would see me frequently. But I'm DONE DONE DONE--!