change_must_come Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 (edited) Long story short (sorta). dated this girl for about 2.5 years. wasnt 100% a perfect fit but i think we were ok outside from the argument that comes in relationships. at one point it felt like we went back and forth where she wasnt happy with something i did, we fixed it then i got upset maybe then she fixed it and eventually she called it quits. thats when i found this forum because I was having a tough time and just wanted advice. I didnt like the way things ended because i always felt that in relationships you push through these things, but maybe she didnt want to after being in a long relationship before where maybe she wished she had left earlier. anyways.. after reading the posts of others, i decided to try NC...at first it hurt because i felt like we were best friends, but i went with it. for 3 weeks i did it and i felt better with time...until maybe this saturday. I shouldve known something bad would happen after how my day started... I live in the city and i was going to visit my parents about 30 miles away. i get into my car to drive home and RANDOMLY a truck breaks down exactly infront of my driveway blocking me in. Eventually the guy puts his truck in neutral and we actually just pushed it out the way ( im no weight lifter but it wasnt actually hard..who knew).. anyways, i go home because i had to visit my sick father. When im home I usually go to the park where i like to walk on saturdays. sometimes my ex would also go to the park but today i went to another part of the park further away. As i walked through the park i began to think about how things ended and i thought to myself " you know what, you wont contact her, but if you ever saw her you'd atleast be friendly and say hello" ( im not the kind of person to ignore anyone even if i was mad at them, its just who i am which is why NC was tough). So as i walk, i got to this path in the park to go left or right. i figured i'd go right and cut through the park. i didnt choose that way for any other reason, just random. As i walk, guess whose car i saw parked there????? i didnt think that was her at first so i kept walking then she blew her car horn and waved. I was going to keep walking but then i remembered the same thought i just said to myself about atleast being friendly not even 10 minutes before. I said a quick hello and kept going. I found a bench not too far away and sat down to listen to music. as im sitting i got a call from her, which i ignored. i turned around and she was walking towards me. she sat down and started small talk but i wasnt into it. she asked how school was, when i take my tests, how i am..yada yada. i asked why she came over to talk and she said " oh i thought you looked a little sad like you wanted someone to talk with" which i found strange as theres no way she saw my face from across the park and with my back facing her. I told her that i was fine and that i just sat there to grab some sun as I work a lot and whenever i get time off I like to enjoy the sun. I felt like that was her way to come to me because i had completely dropped off the earth ( no facebook, no call, no texts..nada) anyways, eventually she left and gave me a hug which i didnt return. i think she was dissapointed because when she left she went for a long walk then went back to her car. i felt kinda bad about it but said whatever to myself. I was still in the park for another 30 minutes in the same area when she texted me " wanna join me over here". I felt a bit guilty and went over and sat down next to her but it didnt feel right. I dont think i said a word then eventually i saw that it was pointless and just said i was going. Now i almost feel like im back to square 1 because i REALLY thought i was moving past her until i saw her and part of me missed her. she seemed alright but knowing her past she can be good at hiding when she's hurt. part of me was debating opening up the lines of communication but i dont know. Honestly for those initial weeks after the break up i couldnt get her off my mind and it was tough to stay focused on my studies as i work in a field where lack of focus can be bad for others. with time i felt better until this sat. Part of me wonders if she's softened up and was trying to reach out or if im reaching for things. *As a side note. after we broke up, last weekend she apparently stopped by my house because she was "in the area." Nobody was there but my father who passed the message on and encouraged me to atleast reply because he felt it took a lot for her to actually stop by the house considering we werent together or even speaking at the time. I emailed her asking why she came over and she said she was just passing by to say hi to me and my mom and would stop by another time and then asked why i emailed and didnt call/text. i simply replied that i was sending out emails to others at the time and just chose to email her too. that was the last contact we had until this past sat randomly. Any thoughts?? sorry for the long post, i thought it would be short..sorry! Edited June 13, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
Ale khun Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Hi , it's complicated to know what she is thinking or what she is feeling IMO she was friendly talking to you in the park and stoping by your place to say hi probably because she felt like doing it . I understand that u feel like going to square one again because when you saw her and then spending time with her in a way moved you , what matters now its what you want to do , I do t think the has softened like I said before maybe she was just friendly but you can ask her and see how it goes
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