Out of hope Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 Hi guys, first time poster. Forgive me for the long winded entry, but I have a lot on my mind and could use the help. Let me preface my most recent issues by telling you about my current ex who I dated for three years. Thought she was the one, but low and behold a year ago I found out she had been cheating. We finally ended things in January, and I have spoken to her once or twice. I never really addressed the break up emotionally. I just kind of internalized it an moved on. In early march I began dating a girl from work and she had also just got out of a long relationship in which she was cheated on many times. She had a long standing issue with dating cheaters and from the start I knew she was fragile. Things started off great, hanging out a ton, laughing the whole nine. She even stated after a few weeks that she was afraid because she felt her feeling for me were growing so strong so quickly. Things continued and we met our families and all the things that point to something good. About a month ago she had mentioned she wanted to slow things down and I just took it lightheartedly. Nevertheless we had a conversation a few days ago and she says that she is Not over her ex and still loves him. In the past she has stated that she would not get back together with him, but I don't know what to think. I understand everyone copes with things differently, but based on all the things she told me, such as I'm the perfect guy and amazing and so on, I'm quite confused. At this point we're not on talking terms because I just thought that it was the best way to deal with things. I'm just confused and don't know what to do or how I can best handle the situation in order for a happy outcome Thanks.
Author Out of hope Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 Just to add something which further leads to my confusion. The day before we stopped talking altogether, I went to her apartment to collect my things. While waiting for a bus, she suggested I'd stay and wait. After awhile she told me to stay over. Throughout the night we had been kissing but that's it. When I went to sleep in a bed that wasn't hers, she insisted once again I stay with her in her bed. I don't get it.
CarrieT Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 we had a conversation a few days ago and she says that she is not over her ex and still loves him. Nothing you can do. She has put the breaks on your relationship and you can wait it out and hope, or just move on. Personally, I would move on - who knows when she will decide she is over her Ex and do you really want to be a rebound relationship, always questioning if she likes YOU or is thinking about someone else?
jphcbpa Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 At least she was honest with you. That is fair, and she seems to be doing the right thing. You cannot take this personal....it has nothing to do with you. Sorry that you are confused, but just know there is nothing you could have, should have done to change her heart.
Author Out of hope Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 I appreciate the input. So, how do I act towards her? What is the best way to act towards her with the hopes things work out? Because I know at this point smothering her for no reason would ruin anything.
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