Heartbrok3 Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 Apologies for the really long story but I want to get it all down. My ex fiance and I were together for 21 months in total. We did get engaged quite quickly - after 6 and a half months. He's 23 and I'm 25, I've had multiple relationships prior to him and he's had 3 - 2 short term, one longer when he was younger. He's slept with 4 people including me, I've slept with 11. I've been told by other people and as I knew myself at first, I'm considerably better looking than him but it's never mattered to me - I prefer to have a loving, caring person than looks which all dwindle anyway when we age. I know this doesn't seem relevant but I'm wondering if it explains some behaviours. Everything was great for the first 10 months, literally both had stars in our eyes, never had anyone like him, got engaged, had a lot of first experiences together, he treated me with so much respect and as did I with him. The problems raised just after that, when he went on a trip to Vegas with the guys only, which was booked long before he even met me. I admit I was insecure and expressed that profusely, then he came back to his state to be with me. Just after that we moved in together, I moved to his state to be with him, around 50 miles away. Then his uncle (who has a weak immune system for reasons prior to this) caught something and was hospitalized, and began to die slowly. He was understandably very upset over this but otherwise everything was fine. But he was used to a good income, mine is about average/ just above average. He didn't give up any of his hobbies he had from before we moved in together, and told me how he missed going on holidays whenever he wanted, and quickly got into financial trouble, loaning $5200 from banks. We had a few arguments around this point, but nothing too bad. I didn't have so many friends in his state and would come back to my state for the weekend about once a month, but I think it antagonzed him when I was around him all the time. So I became friends with a few of his (male) friends. Then the big bust up happened about 6 weeks ago, I wanted to go to a club where a band were playing, he agreed to go with me and I was looking forward to it so much. He knew what it meant to me. Then when we were there he expressed how much he didn't want to be there for the whole time. I tried to talk about other things (his interests, not mine), to get his mind off it but he carried on. After a few hours of this, I tried to tell him to stop ruining it for me and he flipped out. We went outside for a breather and he told me to leave him then, and walked off, leaving me there with nothing. He came back to give me a ride home after a while, then we both got into a heated arguement, and I left, back to my state. I made an attempt at taking my life during this time, then realised how selfish and stupid that was of me. A week passed, I felt awful. We sent each other messages a bit inbetween apologising for our own behaviour, he said he has too much pressure from everywhere and it's dragging him down, then I suggested me meet up, we met up and got back together. During this time his uncles health had got a lot worse. Following this, we were fine with each other - agreed what we both needed to change. 10 days passed and I'd asked him a few times to put our relationship on facebook but he didn't, which wasn't an issue to me really I wasn't arguing over facebook. During this time, he seemed to have given up on us, he put no effort in and made none of the changes he said he would, and I fought and fought and arranged for us to do things, and he just seemed down and argued with me over silly things. He also said in the middle of it he wanted to break up but changed his mind a few hours later. But then he recieved a message from a girl I'd not heard of before asking why he was ignoring her - I questioned him on what this was and he told me he'd met her during our time apart and taken her out for a drink, and they just talked about ex's. I asked him to tell her we were in a relationship and he refused, I told him I couldn't deal with this and attempted to leave. He then told her. I then asked him had he spoken to anyone else and he confirmed he had with a woman he worked with. I then asked him to put it on facebook and he refused. I got really upset and asked why he was doing this? He told me not to tell him what to do. I pleaded that I wasn't and that it was upsetting me. It completely blew up, him throwing things about, I threw the remote control at the couch, he told me to leave, I did. Later on I came back to pack a few things and he seemed remorseful - he said he felt too depressed but he needed me. I said I'd stand by him and help him with this. An hour or so passed and he told me he didn't want me again, then he said he wanted to die and began to take pills. I screamed and shouted and cried and he stopped. He then wanted to go out on his motorcycle and I said I couldn't let him do that, so I kept the keys with me and said I'd drop them off when he had calmed down and I'd call one of his friends to come sit with him. He then started calling me a f****ing b**ch, saying I was trying to ruin his life, ran off along the walkway while I chased after him, then ran back again, told me to leave him alone and f**k off ruining his life! I called one of his friends, they went for a drink together and I slept at our house as it was now so late. He came in, slept in the other room, then in the morning let me cuddle him in bed, saying he loves me etc, but telling me to leave? I eventually packed my things and left. Since this I tried to say we could have gave the relationship a better go - got some help from a therapist and fix the money problems. He said we could have but it was too bad for me, agreed we had amazing times, then stopped replying to my messages. I called him to talk and he ignored me. I then dropped his things off and he still ignored me. His parents now really dislike me and they've told him he can't move home if he stays with me - and the house agreement is up in a fortnight. I'm just completely at a loss and keep crying my eyes out. I don't know what to make of it or anything
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