Delilah1623 Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 Paying ex back? I am nearing the end of my relationship and have an internal debate going on. We went for a 4 day trip last weekend which he paid for the majority of even though I offered to pay my way. He has since admitted that he was worried about money the whole time, he has plenty it is just an anxiety thing for him, and said that he wishes he had told me we should cancel or postpone the trip. I recently sold a house I own in another state and received a large check. I am wondering of I should give him money to cover the cost of the trip. About $500, it was just a trip to a big city a few hours away. I feel guilty knowing that he is obsessing over money all the time and feel like he spent it out of obligation and not because he really wanted to go. Is this a good or a bad idea? I don't know if it will make him feel emasculated or thankful. It would definitely alleviate my guilt over the whole thing. As much as I try to convince myself otherwise and have hope I know deep down our relationship is at its end.
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 Paying ex back? I am nearing the end of my relationship and have an internal debate going on. Just curious. How does one know they are 'nearing the end of a RS'? Do you mean you are getting ready to dump him? As for your question, I wouldn't sweat $500... Forget about it!!
Author Delilah1623 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 We have been together just over 2 months. Until 2 weeks ago things were amazing. The last 2 weeks have been hell. He said he was done, we talked a bit more and he said he needs to think about everything for a while. His mom was on drugs and arrested for prosttuion when he was 6 and his ex wife cheate on him while he was deployed. He doesnt know how to deal with feelings. He thinks of feelings as weakness and just shuts down and he has reached that point with me. I have tried a few times to get him to open up and he will, then shuts back down. In his mind its easier to just run than to deal with the past and the present. He expects perfection from himself and me and hates having to talk about issues. I care about him very much but I can't sacrifice my own happiness and dignity and fight for someone that is trying his best to push me away. I am giving him his time to think but I know him well enough to know what is coming. He has had a string of serious short term relationships and I am not the exception to this. As much as I wish otherwise I can't lie to myself anymore. It's not all been him BTW, I did my part too. But his unwillingness to open up seem to be preventing us from moving past things.
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 Sounds like he has some issues to work through before he can give himself to you or anyone else. He is emotionally unavailable... Nothing you can do... 1
Author Delilah1623 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 I agree. I tried to be there and get him to open up. He has never even told his dad why he got divorced. It's been about 3 years and he's still holding it all in. A much as I care and wish it would work I can't help someone who won't admit they need help. Too bad knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less. )=
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