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Should I reach out if my intentions are good?


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Posted

Hey everyone. My ex, lets call him Eric, and I broke up about a month ago and things ended on very good terms. He has been on a 3 week long vacation and just got back yesterday. Throughout his trip he would send me pictures almost every day, most of them I'm sure he sent to the people in his phonebook, but a couple were just for me. While he was gone, I really focused on myself and I think I did a pretty good job of keeping him off my mind. I was able to finally buy a car and get a job! Both of these accomplishments I had been struggling with for a long time and I would really like to tell Eric about it. Not to gloat, but because I think he'd be just as excited for me as my family since he was with me through all those struggles. I can't decide if I want to tell him within the week or wait for him to contact me, whenever that may be. The only reason I expect him to contact me soon is because he said he wanted to tell me all about his vacation when he got back. But I really don't know if that will happen. If I were to tell him, that's all it would be. Just me telling him; not asking to go out and discuss good times or anything like that. I honestly just want to share my good news with him. Is this appropriate?

Posted
Is this appropriate?

 

No, it isn't. Your brain is just deceiving you into thinking that's all it is.

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Posted

When you broke up, you forfeited the comfort and joy of informing the other person about things in your life.

 

So, no. It's not appropriate. It's also unproductive and will extend the cycle of dependency between the two of you.

 

I know how you feel. The lack of constant contact with your partner is a shock to the system. You're staring at this cute kitten video and suddenly you realize that you have nobody to share it with. That's just an example!

 

As the previous poster indicated, this desire is so strong that your brain will rationalize it. You're doing it now. You can't stop doing it, but you can not act on it.

  • Like 2
Posted

I disagree with the rest. If both of you ended amicably and on good terms, and neither of you harbour ill will or resentment to each other, there is no reason why you cannot share your achievements like you would with a friend.

Posted

I wouldn't recommend it. In my personal experience it always ends up worse. You may even believe you made a mistake and try to see if things can work out, but most likely it won't. Or maybe either of you have already met with other people and you will get one another jealous. Happened to me. My ex and I ended on really good terms and friendly, and then we just got under each other's skin. Best to give it time

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