waterwoman Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 LS has helped me massively but it has also made me miserable at various times over the last year. I have read posts from MM who say that they have never had such an emotional connection or loved their wives as much as their OW, who say they stay for duty or familiarity or comfort. And after a while, water wearing away a stone, I wondered if that was the way with my H too. After an affair the BS questions everything IME, so it was all too easy to rewrite history. So at the weekend, when I found a big envelope full of letters H wrote to me over the first few years we were ta couple, before we lived together. H spent 3 months in the middle east, I spent some time in South Africa. I was away at university. And all that times we wrote to each other several times a week. They were lovely letters. Full of love and longing, talking about trivial every day things as well as how much we missed and loved each other. I cried a lot reading them. Because I can see how much went missing over the last few years, how much had been worn away with stress and worry and tiredness. But also how much love there was and how much there still is. It gave me renewed energy to stick at it. 6
Author waterwoman Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 Thankyou LFH I have been writing him letters since d-day. It's easier to write things down than say them to him as I start to cry or get angry. He isn't so forthcoming with letters but he had written me a few good 'uns.
BetrayedH Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 Rest assured that there is plenty of rewriting of marital history that takes place within a wayward's mind in order to rationalize an affair. Some say that they're not sure that they "ever" loved their spouse. Poppycock. 2
Spark1111 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 after DDay, we also wrote tons of letters to each other. it is my favorite form of communicating and it allowed him space to collect his thoughts and respond calmly without having to see my angry/sad tear-stained face. When I had thrown him out, I was rummaging around his closet obsessed with finding affair evidence to validate the last two years of my life. in the top of his closet was an old shoe box and I grabbed for it. it contained old love letters and cards we exchanged when I was in college and he was several states away; old concert stubs and restaurant receipts from early dates, and a semi-nude picture of me from when he took me away to a resort and I'm floating blissfully in a jacuzzi filled with bubbles.... GOD, we were so young! but he had kept them for 25 years in a special, secret, plain brown shoe box. 2
Author waterwoman Posted June 12, 2013 Author Posted June 12, 2013 after DDay, we also wrote tons of letters to each other. it is my favorite form of communicating and it allowed him space to collect his thoughts and respond calmly without having to see my angry/sad tear-stained face. When I had thrown him out, I was rummaging around his closet obsessed with finding affair evidence to validate the last two years of my life. in the top of his closet was an old shoe box and I grabbed for it. it contained old love letters and cards we exchanged when I was in college and he was several states away; old concert stubs and restaurant receipts from early dates, and a semi-nude picture of me from when he took me away to a resort and I'm floating blissfully in a jacuzzi filled with bubbles.... GOD, we were so young! but he had kept them for 25 years in a special, secret, plain brown shoe box. H has one too. He also fact he has several albums of photos of me in various states of undress . Once the kids arrived they had to be hidden from prying fingers. I think that sometimes AP beleive that theire lovers' marriages were always sub-par and that there was no real love. It's nice to be able to prove to myself that in my case at least that isn't true. 2
BetrayedH Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 I don't believe that these photos exist. As usual, we're going to need evidence. 1
Author waterwoman Posted June 12, 2013 Author Posted June 12, 2013 I don't believe that these photos exist. As usual, we're going to need evidence. Tough! He is still taking them. Bless him. I look at them through half-closed eyes so I don't have to see the details... but though I say so myself I don't look so bad for an old bird. 2
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