Guys, what would you think of a 22 year old virgin?

[anna18]

I am a 22 year

old

girl and even though people tell me I'

m

pretty, men look at me quite a bit and I get hit on, I never had a real

bf

and I am still a virgin. I've had occasions in the past but I just never did anything about it because I don't want my first time to be with someone that I either don't truly love or that I love but doesn't really love me...

 

I don't want it to be a casual hook up either. I'

m

quite shy I must admit, it can take me a bit of time to feel really comfortable with a guy, and I'

m

also not a girly-girl who falls in love every 2 months and within a few days. Even when I'

m

attracted and troubled by a guy, I need to take the time to get to know him, to become friend with him, to discover the small details that distinguishes him from the others to develop solid romantic feelings and be able to start a relationship.

 

I think time, a bit of longing, make the feelings way more intense,

so

why sleeping with a charming guy you've met very recently when you could wait a few weeks or more and make all the sensations way stronger ? I am not religious at all, just romantic, maybe a bit too much, but I just want my first time to be with someone special to whom I will also be special.

 

Anyways, I'

m

now 22 and getting a bit tired of waiting for love... am I being too idealistic and romantic, should I just stop making a big deal about this and go for a guy I'

m

not necessarily that thrilled about ? I don't want to... but I'

m

also a bit worried about what would a guy I like and date think of me still being a virgin.

 

What would you guys think if you'd meet a girl from my age, kind of like her and start dating her, and discover she is still a virgin ? How would you react ?

 

Would it be a turn-off, or would you be glad she wants to give it to you ? Thanks in advance !

Edited June 11, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Toddbt12y1]

Nothing wrong with you being a virgin at your age...it's very admirable these days(considering). I don't think you should throw it to the wolves. You can(not always) get attached to whomever takes it.

 

But..I'd prefer if another female commented on whether you should wait or not...this isn't my place to say anything.

 

Do I think it's a turn/on/off? I think it's a turn-on myself. I indeed see this as something special...contrary to the more popular standard.

 

I would think no different of a partner...I loved. If she was or wasn't a virgin. It is a turn-on, to me, but nothing major. The person, not her chaste, matters. Even still, I think it is admirable for her(or you) to be one...and to gift me with that.

 

*******remember...this is opinion, my opinion, so don't kill over anyone*******

[stillafool]

As a 22 year old WOMAN who is a virgin of course you would want your first time to be with someone you love and loves you. I think alot of men will be somewhat cautious with you because they know that your being a virgin at your age you will more than likely get very serious about the first guy who sexes you. That's alot of pressure. You just have to meet the right man who is of similar mind as yourself in regards to sex.

[Casablanca]

No problems here...some guys will try and pressure you, they arent worth it. A good guy will wait as long as you need and not pressure you...but most will probably pressure you right away, just gotta weed through the scum

[trin250]

I am a 22 year

old

girl and even though people tell me I'

m

pretty, men look at me quite a bit and I get hit on, I never had a real

bf

and I am still a virgin. I've had occasions in the past but I just never did anything about it because I don't want my first time to be with someone that I either don't truly love or that I love but doesn't really love me... I don't want it to be a casual hook up either. I'

m

quite shy I must admit, it can take me a bit of time to feel really comfortable with a guy, and I'

m

also not a girly-girl who falls in love every 2 months and within a few days. Even when I'

m

attracted and troubled by a guy, I need to take the time to get to know him, to become friend with him, to discover the small details that distinguishes him from the others to develop solid romantic feelings and be able to start a relationship. I think time, a bit of longing, make the feelings way more intense,

so

why sleeping with a charming guy you've met very recently when you could wait a few weeks or more and make all the sensations way stronger ? I am not religious at all, just romantic, maybe a bit too much, but I just want my first time to be with someone special to whom I will also be special. Anyways, I'

m

now 22 and getting a bit tired of waiting for love... am I being too idealistic and romantic, should I just stop making a big deal about this and go for a guy I'

m

not necessarily that thrilled about ? I don't want to... but I'

m

also a bit worried about what would a guy I like and date think of me still being a virgin. What would you guys think if you'd meet a girl from my age, kind of like her and start dating her, and discover she is still a virgin ? How would you react ? Would it be a turn-off, or would you be glad she wants to give it to you ? Thanks in advance !

 

While I was reading this I had to check the user name a couple of times because I could've sworn I wrote it!

[fortyninethousand322]

1. I'd never ask a girl about sexual history so unless you told me I wouldn't even speculate whether you were or not. I'd evaluate you on things I think are important.

 

2. If you did tell me, I'll be honest, I'd wonder what was wrong with you that you hadn't had a real relationship or sex by 22. For the record I'm a 25 year old virgin myself and wonder the same thing about myself. So, I'm just saying...

[ddlovexx]

I will say that I think that's special, and the right guy will treasure it.

 

But as a girl, the unfortunate reality is that your first time doesn't matter. I don't mean this in a bitchy way... but it's just true.

 

I lost my virginity when I was 20 to this guy who I thought was amazing... and he basically took my virginity and disappeared. I was upset for a while but then I got in and out of relationships, a FWB here or there, and you realize that it's all good and dandy, and you forget about your first time. Actually, you probably WANT to forget your first time because you didn't know what you were doing anyway.

 

It gets better and when it's with someone you care about it will ALWAYS be meaningful, whether it's the first time or the 100th time. You just have to find someone who feels the same way about it as you do.

[the_entertainer1]

While I was reading this I had to check the user name a couple of times because I could've sworn I wrote it!

 

Me too! (but I just turned 24)

[crude]

Typical female. You're willing to let some strange horse bust your hymen, but you hold out on good men.

[ThomasD]

Do not give in - and do not "settle".

 

My wife and I were both 23 and had known each other a little over a year when we experienced the physical and emotional intensity of a double-virgin wedding night. Being each other's "first" was very significant to each of us. For quite a while before we met I had a romantic fantasy that the girl I gave my virginity to would be my life partner. I really hoped she would also be a virgin, but admitted the pragmatic reality that she probably wouldn't be. But in fact, that's what DID happen -and we have been married (to each other!) for almost 39 years.

 

There are more details in some of my other posts - or ask about them here.

[KungFuJoe]

Truth be told, it would probably be a turn off for me. Not that I think there's anything wrong with being a virgin at that age but its just not for me.

 

But I also think I'm the exception and most guys would like it especially if the girl was attractive.

 

I'm just not interested in virgins and never have been for some reason.

[ScreamingTrees]

Probably more attractive than her male counterpart.

[Anela]

Typical female. You're willing to let some strange horse bust your hymen, but you hold out on good men.

 

Would a good man hold that attitude?

[RogerWallace111]

I'd be careful as to make sure I didn't hurt you (emotionally ). Because though I've never really seen it happen, the cliche is of course that a girl will inevitably "cling" a bit to her first (cling emotionally ).

 

I would wonder "why" ? Especially if I saw long term potential. Simply because it's not the norm and could very possibly be the result of other noteworthy life/personality factors. But a little honest conversation would relieve my curiosity.

 

...In a strictly physical sense, I'd see it as a very cool thing, and would likely very much enjoy relieving one of their virgin title. Not on any fetishistic level but simply because it's a "real sh*t" type of thing and I like being involved in important events . Id feel weird/guilty if it went down under trashy circumstances, and would keep it smooth vs carnal...

[ThomasD]

would she be with a 25 year old guy that is also a virgin?

I hope she'd be with a virgin guy and the two of them intend to be each other's life partner.

[Southern Cal Dude]

I'd be turned off. Don't want to be a teacher. But there's someone for everyone.

[Phantom888]

Total turn on!!! What a treasure of a woman! This means you really respect yourself and does not take sex lightly. That is a very admirable and desirable quality. Definitely don't give in to pressure or give it to someone unworthy. Your future man will definitely appreciate you.

[pcplod]

It's not the fact that you are a virgin is the issue IMHO, it is the fact that you are afraid of sex. Yes, you read it right, I think you are afraid of sex. I think you are making excuses for yourself because you can't face the probable reality of that. I suspect that if you can't address that, and I suspect that you won't that as your relationships with men evolve over time, through significant stages, that you will find different excuses to fit the prevailing circumstances. You will probably deny that, either publicly, or just to yourself, but I think you would only be kidding yourself. And your future relationships will be a whole heap of trouble for you, as well as the other persons. Don't believe me? Unfortunately, it happens all the time and to men as well as women. Simple, plain old sexual incompatibility is one of the primary reasons for either a man or a woman to instigate a divorce.

 

You see, it is quite possible to enjoy sex just for the sake of sex and for it to in no way adulterate or corrupt the sex you are still to have with someone who you hope to have a higher emotional affinity with. In fact, putting it off will not guarantee that experience will be all that you expect, notwithstanding the lack of experience it will impose on that experience.

 

Having sex with someone else prior to that is just a self-contained experience in it's own right and any negative impact it does have on future experiences are purely a fabrication within your own mind, a convolution to justify your irrational logic. Just ask yourself this simple question. Why would, in practical terms, abstinence enhance that experience, other than by dint of "It just does" or "It makes it special"?

 

First time experiences for so many things in life, not just sex, is just so seriously crap, it beggars belief. Why would inexperienced sex be any different? Just play the likely scenario through your head, two inexperienced people having next to no idea what they are supposed to do next? Cute? Sweet? Innocent? (!). Frankly, I want to scream at the sheer inanity of it all. The probability is that your first sexual experience is going to be, at best, mediocre, at worst a complete, off-putting disaster. Now, why on earth would you want to keep that for a special occasion?

 

I know, I know, nothing I have said or can say will change your opinion. So be it.

 

PS. Virginity is so over-rated and the notion that some woman would want to privilege me by saving it for me and then offering it up to me like some sort of ultimate sacrifice I find quite repulsive and insulting actually. It is also a major insult, de facto, to other women who just want to lead normal lives without being either implicitly or explicitly judged as sluts as a result. It's time this archaeic manifestation of men's ownership of women was put permanently to rest. Damaged goods and all that crap.

Edited June 26, 2013 by pcplod