dtj567 Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 (edited) I've never had good self esteem. I've always hated myself, I mean I really hate myself. I cut myself and tell myself I'm an idiot and not a man. I finally stopped crying myself sleep. I was never good at school, i have add and that makes me feel intellectually inferior. I have deformed knee caps, baby face, short and a small penis - this makes me feel physically inferior. When I was 16 in a fit of psychotic rage beat my dog. It happened a couple times. I've never forgiven myself. I can think of a hundred reasons to hate myself. I have a hard time thinking of anything good, because I feel its narcissistic. I have really bad depression and avoidant personailty disorder. So this plays a role to. Edited June 11, 2013 by dtj567
Suave Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 Your first step would be to talk to someone who can help you deal with these problems - not strangers on the Internet. Sounds like your situation calls for more serious action.
Author dtj567 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 I've already been in and out therapy many times. I was just looking for fresh perspective. I shouldn't of posted this though, your right. Goddammit, I don't why I do this ****ing ****, over and over. Please no one else respond just let this thread die.
Emilia Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 I've already been in and out therapy many times. I was just looking for fresh perspective. I shouldn't of posted this though, your right. Goddammit, I don't why I do this ****ing ****, over and over. Please no one else respond just let this thread die. If I may just for one post OP How do you get on with your family? What is your relationship with your parents and siblings? Do you have periods when you cut them off and don't talk to them? Do you feel that they neglect you at all? 1
Author dtj567 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 My relationship with my family is fine. The problem is me, I'm just an idiot.
Emilia Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 My relationship with my family is fine. The problem is me, I'm just an idiot. So how do they try to help you?
Author dtj567 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 Yes, but I can't go to them every time I feel depressed. I also don't want to worry them, they always overreact.
Emilia Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 Yes, but I can't go to them every time I feel depressed. I also don't want to worry them, they always overreact. How do they over react exactly? What I'm trying to work out is where your self esteem issues come from.
Author dtj567 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 I already explained where they come from. And my parents overreact by basically putting me on suicide watch, asking me every 5 minutes if I'm ok. Or if I need to go to the hospital, when I all I told them I was feeling down.
Emilia Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 Or if I need to go to the hospital, when I all I told them I was feeling down. What kind of therapy have you been receiving?
Author dtj567 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 (edited) Nothing special, just meds. I was seeing a therapist, but I can't afford it anymore. You have to put yourself in my shoes, if you were stupid, ugly, with a small penis... Would you have good self esteem? Edited June 11, 2013 by dtj567 Typo
chuzzbug Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Don't underestimate the power of surrounding yourself with people that value your traits. While confidence comes from the inside, we all need positive reinforcement from the outside. Someone telling you "You're great" is worth maybe 5-10 times those words said to yourself. 1
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