chinacat sunflower Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 So I contacted my ex 3 weeks ago and I got no response. Wasn't really expecting one. But it wasn't until I started posting on this site when I really regret emailing him. And I'm starting to get angry. Mostly at him. Not because he didn't reply....well....maybe yeah, that and plus how crappy he was towards me in the end. Basically, I'm starting to think he's a real turd. I hate being angry at people. Anger is not something I'm use to. Usually I'm pretty good at shaking things off. So I think by me starting to feel angry is another step in the right direction. It is by all means not indifference, but I guess I'd rather be angry/thinking he's an immature/pretentious turd than putting him on a pedestal. Is it okay to be angry??? I associate anger with being mean, and I don't consider myself a mean person. And I don't want to start now. I vented in the "post here instead of contacting your ex" thread and let me tell you, if I said that to him in real life. I would feel AWFUL immediately after. It's not in my nature to talk like that to someone. I'm a lover, not a fighter. It's actually more comical when I get angry.
SadPanda22 Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 It is absolutely okay to be angry! He treated you poorly, and now you're mad at him, that is completely understandable. Being angry doesn't make you a mean person at all. He is a mean person for the way that he treated you. Eventually the feelings of anger will fade away, along with the rest of the feelings you have for this guy, it is just going to take some time. 1
d0620 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 I believe it's okay to be angry at him, even for not responding. You would think that after investing your time and emotions into someone that he would at least give you a response. However, if he didn't treat you well then, I don't know why your expectations are so high for him now. I am angry at myself for allowing myself to be treated that way by my ex. I am angry at him for taking advantage of my love for him. According to the stages of grief you are at anger and the next is bargaining. Please don't beg for him back. He is not worth anymore of your time, pride, or dignity. 1
RespectfullyAlone Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Not sure it's as simple as putting yourself in a round hole, and saying I'm at this stage, anger!, at this stage of bargaining. Put it this way, we only regret contacting our ex's when it goes badly. Even if we truly believe it's worth fighting for, at somepoint down the track, I know I was like wtf, I never should have done this, said this and so on. But actually it doesn't matter at all, as our ex's don't care! They don't care about us, they don't love us. Thus it doesn't matter what we said, good or in anger really, as even the nice stuff they will just twist it for their own selfish reasons and throw it back at you as another "reason" why they left the relationship. Thus the more you do, the more you feel that urge to fight for what you believe in, to fight for the one you love, it just makes it worse. Get angry! Hell I'm angry, and then go through periods where I'm ok, then feeling I miss her so much I want her back, then being angry again. You're not a bad person for feeling anger, but anger is nowhere close to indifference. It just means you care enough about a person, you are still hurt so badly by them, their actions, that you feel hatred. Because at least that's a feeling towards them. Indifference may come, but it could take years upon years to find it's way into your mind and heart. One day years down the line, you might catch yourself in a moment and go, oh wow, I don't miss that person, don't care about that person, don't wish them well or bad. You're living your life and hopefully by then in the arms of someone ever more awesome! Hopefully you have some hope left in you. Me, I have none left. I am dry of hope. Too many broken hearts, too much time trying to pick up the pieces, keep looking on the bright side of life. Guess what, life isn't bright, it f**king sucks. There are bad people out there, that do bad things. We all don't get a happy ending. Not even a medium to luke warm existence. Some do, and others grow old and bitter, waiting for death to take them, to relieve the pain, the regrets and what ifs. 1
insomniax Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Yeah its ok to be angry, i am pretty angry at my ex for many things. She can be angry at me for plenty of things as well. I also go back and forth between being angry and missing her. I try and try to tell myself that its for the best and there was too much drama and fighting between us. I gave alot of effort and didnt feel the same back. So go ahead and be angry use it to help get over things, its working for me. 1
Author chinacat sunflower Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 I guess I do have some hope left. Only because I still think he's harboring hurt feelings. I'm getting better everyday. This site has helped a lot. Thank you for your response!
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Yeah. Which is good! They're not necessarily in this order...consecutive...or a one-time event. Biut it's pretty much par for the course. 1
Author chinacat sunflower Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 Yeah. Which is good! They're not necessarily in this order...consecutive...or a one-time event. Biut it's pretty much par for the course. Hahahaa that's the perfect analogy. Thanks for the laugh!
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