thembones Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 My ex and I were together 3 years, with plans for marriage, kids, etc. (broken up about 10 months). I found out through someone on Facebook that her mother has terminal cancer, but that is all that I know. I don't hate my ex and I feel absolutely terrible for the situation. When I first got the call, I was on my way home and passing where she lives. My first instinct was to stop by her place and give her a big hug and tell her how sorry I was. I did not and now it has been a week. I doubt that she knows I know. Should I send her a text or something or does she not want to even hear from me? We have not talked for over 7 months and I have not even seen her. I can say that I am at least 95% over her, but there is that one little part of me I can't seem to shake. I don't know the right thing to do. Oh, and I DON'T want her back.
flitzanu Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 My ex and I were together 3 years, with plans for marriage, kids, etc. (broken up about 10 months). I found out through someone on Facebook that her mother has terminal cancer, but that is all that I know. I don't hate my ex and I feel absolutely terrible for the situation. When I first got the call, I was on my way home and passing where she lives. My first instinct was to stop by her place and give her a big hug and tell her how sorry I was. I did not and now it has been a week. I doubt that she knows I know. Should I send her a text or something or does she not want to even hear from me? We have not talked for over 7 months and I have not even seen her. I can say that I am at least 95% over her, but there is that one little part of me I can't seem to shake. I don't know the right thing to do. Oh, and I DON'T want her back. it certainly sucks, but be careful about opening that can of worms by contacting her. don't think of this as a valid reason to make contact. i'm assuming that she broke up with you, based on your hesitation. perhaps you can reach out to another friend to pass your sentiments directly to the mother and avoid the ex entirely.
aisuru Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 I'm going to vote for not contacting her. This is the difficult part of breakups, but the reality is that each of you move on with your family and family realities, including marriages, kids, deaths, illnesses, etc. Unless she contacts you and discusses it, I don't believe you should contact her. It is kind of you to consider it however. 1
Author thembones Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 She has not told me directly. My aunt is still friends with her mother on FB, as they knew each other through some weird small world thing. My aunt saw it and told my mom, who in turn told me. My relationship with her mother was pretty good and we never had any major issues. Although, in the end, her mother did have a part in her leaving me. I know it tricky and since the first thought, I have not thought about doing it again. I think the better idea would be to ignore it. I know I feel bad about the situation, so I guess that is what I'll go with.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 My friend went through that. His ex-girlfriend, who cheated on him with her eventual husband, was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few years ago. Her sister, who I used to hook up with, posted something on Facebook about it so I told my friend about it. While he felt bad for his ex-girlfriend's plight, he decided not to reach out. I relayed my sympathies to his ex's sister and that was that. As for you, I would either say nothing or I would just say something directly to the mom if you were close to her (maybe a text or something) and bypass the ex. If you weren't close to the mom, I'd let it go.
bluegreen Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 That's awful and you seem like nice person really. Well if you are really over him send him text express your sorry"s after all no one has bought our lives today her Tomorrow who knows. He is going trough hell now and someone reaching out would mean a lot
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