mfleck91 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 As the title suggests, even my new therapist is baffled by the circumstances of my breakup. She can't think of any legitimate explanation of what happened other than my ex basically just went weird on me. It makes things a lot harder to cope with when you can't identify the reason for the end 1
aisuru Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Your therapist is not doing you any favors. It doesn't matter why. You can only accept it's over and move on for you. Figure out how you will cope and move on in life. Believe me, I understand. It's hard to not know why. It's harder living in misery wondering why. 3
IS IT Better late Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Dude- I understand your situation. My short but pretty intense relationship ended for no concrete reason. We never had an argument all we did was have a good time together. Matter of fact during a text convo 2- months after the breakup she said "we always had a lot of fun together and we never had a bad time"! I don't know about your situation but mine must of ended for the following reasons A) she met another dude B) she lost interest and was as into me as I was into her. If yours ended pretty sudden without any real concrete evidence could be the above. It's horrible, I would've rather have a reason to hate this girl.
Author mfleck91 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Dude- I understand your situation. My short but pretty intense relationship ended for no concrete reason. We never had an argument all we did was have a good time together. Matter of fact during a text convo 2- months after the breakup she said "we always had a lot of fun together and we never had a bad time"! I don't know about your situation but mine must of ended for the following reasons A) she met another dude B) she lost interest and was as into me as I was into her. If yours ended pretty sudden without any real concrete evidence could be the above. It's horrible, I would've rather have a reason to hate this girl. I'm going with both. She did leave me for another guy. The issue is not knowing why she lost interest in me. And by the way, I would be proposing to her this week if we were still together. Aisuru, I hear what you're saying. The therapist actually agrees. She said she wants to focus on moving me forward, not necessarily deal with the breakup. Almost those words exactly
aisuru Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Aisuru, I hear what you're saying. The therapist actually agrees. She said she wants to focus on moving me forward, not necessarily deal with the breakup. Almost those words exactly WHEW! Okay, good to hear!! Cause that is the most important part. Imagine if you were your therapist from the day you met your ex. Guess who is in that boat? My therapist shared a whole other perspective regarding my ex and his motivations with me once we broke up that was incredibly insightful on her part, and really made me stop and think. Didn't like it though. HA. I'm still wondering why and what if. Those thoughts just don't do me any good and I've gotten better at shutting them down. 1
todreaminblue Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 As the title suggests, even my new therapist is baffled by the circumstances of my breakup. She can't think of any legitimate explanation of what happened other than my ex basically just went weird on me. It makes things a lot harder to cope with when you can't identify the reason for the end its not for the therapist to figure out why you broke up, only to help you deal with the aftermath, formulate strategies and help you cope iwith the loss....i wish you the best.....it doesnt matter why she left even though it is driving you nuts....it only matters that you heal, you dont go crazy with thoughts of why, how, where and when,and that you find happiness within yourself...and you then can look forward to a future with someone who doesnt leave without explanation, who loves you and who you love back......when you are healed and ready that is...deb 1
Author mfleck91 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 Well I went to my first jiu jitsu class tonight, thought I would try it out. While there I felt fine and immediately after was ok to. But now I'm slowly but surely drifting back into my comfortable depression. I plan on continuing to go though, I enjoyed it in the moment
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 I'm pretty sure you'll find your little moments of happiness become a little longer, and your moments of settling back into your depressive state become a little shorter as time goes on. It is just a PAINFULLY SLOW process. Keep up with the martial arts, its good that you have found something you enjoy- even if only in small increments. Its a positive sign! 2
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