NJshore Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 (edited) What I am about to write is probably long. Back in February of this year I started taking Zumba classes ( I am male ). During the course of about a month a girl in the class and myself started to click. She is very out there, quirky and very odd, the same as me. Come April her and I started dating. She had told me about her current situation how she was still living with her ex but they hadn't had sex or slept together in a year and that they were just waiting out their lease. I accepted that. Over the course of dating I started noticing things. All the sudden she was sore in the you know where area, wouldn't want to have sex, just oral. She was heavy on Facebook and instagram. I actually would find out what she was doing just by those sites. I didn't need to know everything she was doing, we saw each other everyday and went out every night ( no joke). She would post selfies of herself on Instagram, which made me uncomfy when she had sent me a pic and told me it was only for me then it was online an hour later. She never would take pics with me, I had to beg her. But when she was out with friends, pics were bountiful. We went to a benefit thing on the shore because of the hurricane that devastated our towns. She turns to me and says she has a problem. Her ex's best friend walked in and she said if he saw me with her it would cause problems. Basically she never told her ex whom she lives and works with that she had started seeing me. I let it go. It grew and grew on me to the point where one night when I found out she wasn't where she said she was ( I found out on Facebook, go figure) I asked her to come over. I ended the relationship that night. Stating age, as she was 7 years younger than me, I being 33 her 26 and the fact that she was the party girl she told me she wasn't. You know how break ups go, so the next morning we decide we'd still talk. Come Sunday, her birthday, we got into a big argument on the phone. I then proceeded to not hear from her for 10 hours. Like a concerned person, I started contacting her like crazy, telling her just tell me you are ok. Last thing I needed was something to happen to her and have me to blame because we had just broken up. So I then contact the ex she lives with. Told him everything. 10 mins later I get a message on FACEBOOK telling me to leave her alone or she will go to the police. Her mother then contacts me and tells me the same thing. The next morning I get a text from her that my stuff is in a bag at my front door and to never contact her again. A week goes by and I messaged her asking if we could clear the air. She then blocks me. I email, same thing. So I haven't heard from her now in two weeks. I know I initiated the break up, but I can't seem to shake it. Her friends are posting pics of them with her up on Facebook including one where she is drunk and holding up a no douche bag sign. So my question is this... from what I have described, do we think she still had something going with the ex? It's confusing to me because she was with me EVERY NIGHT since we started dating. When I went to the ex that's when the NC thing came into play. I find myself wanting to call her or text her, but I have that whole LAW thing over my head. Any thoughts? THANK YOU!!! Edited June 10, 2013 by NJshore
forgetmenot75 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 That's a pretty messy situation. I think you decided to ignore the facts, and maintain the illusion (she was sore and only wanted oral...WTF???,) A lot of red flags you decided to ignore. And now you are ignoring she doesn't want to hear from you again, and she's been VERY CLEAR. Even her mom asked to stop looking for her. If I were she, I'd be scared of you too! You seem to have no limits! Stop harassing her, I think you should do counseling if after what she said you still have any kind of hope. It's OVER. I won't judge her or her behaviors, even though she is in a messy situation, but you need to think clearly and move on.
Author NJshore Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Geez... I don't think I need counseling... but I agree with everything else you say
Chi townD Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 from what I have described, do we think she still had something going with the ex? It's confusing to me because she was with me EVERY NIGHT since we started dating. When I went to the ex that's when the NC thing came into play. I find myself wanting to call her or text her, but I have that whole LAW thing over my head. Any thoughts? THANK YOU!!! Are you serious? This is a joke, right? Come on, dude. Won't have sex because she's too sore "down there"? Doesn't want to take pics with you. Hides you from her Ex's friends. Lying about where she is. Taking selfies of herself then posting them on social media (perhaps if someone when through her phone, he can track where the pics go? Hmm?). Goes absolutely bat sh*t crazy when you contacted the "Ex". Dude, she NEVER broke up with her boyfriend. He wasn't an Ex. YOU were the other man. Did you ever stay the night over at her place while the "Ex" was there? Did you EVER spend any time over there? Dude, you got played by a cheating bitch. Count your blessings and move on. She's not worth your time. What did the boyfriend say when you called?
Author NJshore Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Are you serious? This is a joke, right? Come on, dude. Won't have sex because she's too sore "down there"? Doesn't want to take pics with you. Hides you from her Ex's friends. Lying about where she is. Taking selfies of herself then posting them on social media (perhaps if someone when through her phone, he can track where the pics go? Hmm?). Goes absolutely bat sh*t crazy when you contacted the "Ex". Dude, she NEVER broke up with her boyfriend. He wasn't an Ex. YOU were the other man. Did you ever stay the night over at her place while the "Ex" was there? Did you EVER spend any time over there? Dude, you got played by a cheating bitch. Count your blessings and move on. She's not worth your time. What did the boyfriend say when you called? He didn't say anything, I emailed him. That's when ten minutes later I got the leave me alone message. I actually never stayed a night over her place, I was over there once and he had just left.... Well thanks for confirming my suspicions.
Ale khun Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Sometimes when you are with someone or love someone your emotions control your brain and that's a fact , I think you went over the top contacting her ex and its really suspicious that after 10 min she gets in contact with you , but her mom getting involved makes me think that she had something with the ex . Just ignore her in FB don't hurt yourself doing that I don't think you need counseling or that you are a stalker you are just a guy that went crazy when she disappeared that's all . But it's not a good idea to text her or call her it's a waste of time but doing NC its the hardest thing because I guess you still have a lot of questions and a lot of anger for what she did to you . Just don't doit .
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