QforLove Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 If you're at work, in an open office, and ending a personal phone call with your significant other, is it inappropriate to say "I love you?" If you said those three words and you got a long pause followed by "I can't say it. My are coworkers are around," should this be cause for worry? Inquiring minds need to know...
Treasa Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 If you're at work, in an open office, and ending a personal phone call with your significant other, is it inappropriate to say "I love you?" If you said those three words and you got a long pause followed by "I can't say it. My are coworkers are around," should this be cause for worry? Inquiring minds need to know... Some places are more laid back than others. I would say it with the people who are normally around me, but not the President/CEO of my company.
anne1707 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 My H does not tend to say "I love you" back to me when we are on the phone and he is at work. However it never makes me question whether he loves me or not. He is just keeping some boundaries between work and personal life which is perfectly understandable. 2
KatZee Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I really don't know what the issue is with saying this. I'm confused, do people really think they don't have girlfriends or wives outside of work? I don't see anything wrong with saying you love your partner and for them to say "love you too, bye." What does that take, all of 2 seconds? Obviously no baby talk or kissy noises, but I think a refusal to say it, or saying something like "I can't say it! People are around!" Shows tons of immaturity. 2
anne1707 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Shows tons of immaturity. Or it shows tons of professionalism. It's all a matter of opinion. 3
KatZee Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Or it shows tons of professionalism. It's all a matter of opinion. What's so unprofessional about saying "Love you too, bye." ?? I'm kind of missing the unprofessionalism. I'm not saying scream it. Or have intimately personal conversations, and have baby talk or sit on the phone going goo-goo, ga-ga. I'm talking about, "I'll see you at home later tonight, love you bye." 1
Author QforLove Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 I would say it with the people who are normally around me, but not the President/CEO of my company. Why not the president or CEO? Do you think it looks unfavourably on you as an employee to be in love? However it never makes me question whether he loves me or not. He is just keeping some boundaries between work and personal life which is perfectly understandable. I think boundaries have purpose, but do you really believe loving someone outside of work and telling them that, crosses some? If so, what? Obviously no baby talk or kissy noises, but I think a refusal to say it, or saying something like "I can't say it! People are around!" Shows tons of immaturity. Very few kissey noises were used. Promise. Or it shows tons of professionalism. It's all a matter of opinion. How is it unprofessional to say something as common as I Love You? How can it possibly hurt your performance, impression of competence in the workplace or affect your coworkers in a negative way?? I'm just having trouble seeing that side...
KatZee Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 How is it unprofessional to say something as common as I Love You? How can it possibly hurt your performance, impression of competence in the workplace or affect your coworkers in a negative way?? I'm just having trouble seeing that side... Yeah I don't see it either, you're not the only one. haha.
Treasa Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Why not the president or CEO? Do you think it looks unfavourably on you as an employee to be in love? Nope, she's pretty cool. However, if I'm with her, chances are I'm giving a presentation to people whose business we need, and I try to focus on just my job.
jolie_baby Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Or it shows tons of professionalism. It's all a matter of opinion. Agree. I take my job seriously and wouldn't say that around colleagues or boss. It is a matter of opinion, image, or even a company culture. 1
clia Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I don't see why it's necessary to say "I love you" every time you get off the phone, period, but especially at work. I don't really consider it unprofessional...just odd. But if you are going to say "I can't say it, people are around," you might as well just say it. 2
anne1707 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Yeah I don't see it either, you're not the only one. haha. And I don't understand why this is such big deal to you and why you need to put a derisory "haha" in your post. But there you go. I was just answering the OP's question and basically stating that not saying ILY is not neccessarily a problem.
jolie_baby Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I don't see why it's necessary to say "I love you" every time you get off the phone, period, but especially at work. I don't really consider it unprofessional...just odd. But if you are going to say "I can't say it, people are around," you might as well just say it. Unless your SO already knows you don't like saying it at work and still is expecting you to say it. In this case I would go for "I cant say it, people are around."
Treasa Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Oh, that's another reason. The person I'm "with" or whatever doesn't need to hear it or say it. After 16 years, I sort of know how he feels, and he either loves me, or he'll love me if I damn well tell him to do it.
Author QforLove Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Nope, she's pretty cool. However, if I'm with her, chances are I'm giving a presentation to people whose business we need, and I try to focus on just my job. Interesting... I don't see why it's necessary to say "I love you" every time you get off the phone, period, but especially at work. I don't really consider it unprofessional...just odd. But if you are going to say "I can't say it, people are around," you might as well just say it. Yeah, the last part was really strange. I figured I was missing something. BTW, thanks for all the replies. This is really more helpful than you know!
ThomasD Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 If you said those three words and you got a long pause followed by "I can't say it. My are coworkers are around," should this be cause for worry? That should NOT be a cause for worry. I hope you are smart enough to take the hint and don't make him repeat the "can't say it now . . . " explanation. Of the dozen or so places I have worked, the majority of people would NOT say "I love you" even if some others would. It probably has as much to do with personality as with the work environment, though both enter into the analysis.
ThomasD Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 About the third time she bugs him with "why can't you say it?", he has every right to respond with something like, "Dear . . . Am I hen-pecked? "
Author QforLove Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Of the dozen or so places I have worked, the majority of people would NOT say "I love you" even if some others would. It probably has as much to do with personality as with the work environment, though both enter into the analysis. I see you are not the only one to feel this way, but nobody can seem to articulate where the down side is. "It isn't professional," is as close as I've heard here but it really isn't a reason. There doesn't seem to be any impact on the workplace so how can it be unprofessional?
anne1707 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 It is professional to keep your personal life out of work. It is also professional not to embarrass colleagues who may not want to hear someone next to them doing lots of ILYs on the phone. It is also professional to keep personal calls to a minimum when you are supposed to be working. 1
tbf Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Heh, H and I are evil. I say ILY to H when he's at work, just to make him squirm. To get me back, he'll text me something inappropriate when I'm with a client in a meeting. 1
anne1707 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Heh, H and I are evil. I say ILY to H when he's at work, just to make him squirm. I do the same 1
anne1707 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Oh, oh, now wuggle knows! You've seen his eyes. You should see the looks he gives me when he gets home 1
Author QforLove Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 I guess I'm just a little bit different. I firmly believe that the only thing that matters in life is love. And we all owe it to each other to love as much as we can. Worrying about what someone else in your business environment thinks isn't living your life. It's you living your life for other people who really don't matter in the grander scheme of things. And and I think anyone who feels weird hearing someone say I love you to another person has much bigger issues... dare I say stemming from a lack of love in their own life, perhaps? Ouch, but let's put it out there. Say what you mean and mean what you say. And if you can't say it, it ain't really so! We've been dating six months. We may have spoken a few times during office hours and usually for good reason. Saying a quick ILU at the end of a call seems like a big nothing. I guess it's not for some!
anne1707 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I guess I'm just a little bit different. I firmly believe that the only thing that matters in life is love. And we all owe it to each other to love as much as we can. No problem with love at all. But showing consideration for the professional work environment is also good. You are at work to work. Worrying about what someone else in your business environment thinks isn't living your life It's not about worrying what others may be thinking of you. Who said it was (apart from those who do not agree that it is unprofessional) It's you living your life for other people who really don't matter in the grander scheme of things. Again a mistaken assumption And and I think anyone who feels weird hearing someone say I love you to another person has much bigger issues... dare I say stemming from a lack of love in their own life, perhaps? Ouch, but let's put it out there. Or it could be said that someone who needs to hear the ILYs is the one lacking in love and is in need of validation by others. Say what you mean and mean what you say. And if you can't say it, it ain't really so! Are you suggesting that my husband doesn't love me? Or that tbf's husband does not love her? We've been dating six months. We may have spoken a few times during office hours and usually for good reason. Saying a quick ILU at the end of a call seems like a big nothing. I guess it's not for some! Saying ILY is a big nothing to you? Oh dear, that's not so good. I know when I say "I love you" to my husband and when he says it to me it means a great deal more than nothing.
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