jukeboxromeo Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Breaking up is hard. No matter what side you're on, whether you're the 'dumper' or the 'dumpee'. It's usually harder for one side than the other, but it's never easy to say good-bye to someone you cared about. And probably still do. You don't break up with someone to hurt them on purpose. But as a 25 year old guy who's had a fair share of relationships, both long and short, I wanted to give out a little advice to those who are struggling with a break-up of any kind. I just got out of a relationship very recently, because I sensed we were both unhappy with the way things were and after exhausting many avenues of trying to figure out what was going wrong, and how to fix it, I reached the point of just having to give up and move on with my life. You can say I never loved her, blah blah. It's not true, but you're going to believe whatever you want to believe. As for my pieces of advice: In my signature, I have the Japanese proverb: "Fall seven times, rise eight." That means no matter what, no matter how hard you get knocked down, you must always rise again. I live by this proverb. I love it. Because even if it takes a while to get back on your feet, you can do it. You started alone and found someone else, so you can do it again. I've been reading a lot of the stories on here, and many, many people are getting back up - by finding an awesome support system online, through friends and family, and I see a lot of regular posters who give great advice. Pick yourself up, clean up the blood - and keep fighting the good fight. No one person on this earth can make you happier than you, and that's where you need to start. Advice 2: For one reason or another, or maybe many, the relationship didn't work. Either you thought so, or she/he thought that way. It doesn't matter why. Because although no couple is perfect and happy and sun-shiny all the time, if you fought constantly, (as in, once or twice a week) and you're at each-other's throats a lot of the time, and constantly disagreeing on things, someone's going to end up unhappy and eventually end the relationship. But the advice is: After a break-up, make a conscious effort to do NC. For as long as it takes. Think about what you can do better next time. Cry. Go for a long drive. Take a trip. Meet new friends. It helps, I've used it before in the past, and it's true what they say, time heals all wounds. You will eventually think back on them and not hurt quite so much anymore. Advice 3: You can't be happy with someone else until you're happy with yourself. This part is more true (especially for me) than anything else I've found about relationships. Having just broken off a RS, I know that I was partially at fault for the failure. I am currently in a job that I don't love, with no degree, and I want to go back to school and get a job in a field that I will love. And I realized that my relationship with her would only suffer if I did not step back and do what was best for me first. A friend of mine (who was a bit of a narcissist, but his advice was still valid) has always said "I take care of myself first, and everyone else around me second." Because there's no one who can do you better than you. So get your own life straight and then try and dance with someone else. (And yes, I will be taking my own advice on that) In closing, I guess I just needed to kinda vent out what I'd been thinking about since my relationship came to an end, and I wanted to give a little advice to all those struggling with their heartbreaks. Obviously you're not alone, and someone will probably always have it worse than you. Take it a day at a time, and take the time to focus on yourself- so you can get back on that dating horse much sooner rather than later. Good luck, I truly hope it helps. -The Last of the Jukebox Romeos
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