LostGirl11 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I woke up this morning realising it was actually me that broke up with him! Which actually made me vomit! We hadn't been getting on and were arguing everyday. The last thing he said to me was 'this is pointless, I'm off, bye' Then he didn't contact me the next day. I just couldn't be bothered with it so I didn't contact him either. So I just thought that he was finishing with me, so decided to make it easy for him and sent him a long message. The first thing I said was 'I guess you don't want to be with me anymore' then I went on about how he had been treating me, ect. He replied with a short message basically blaming me for everything, then he asked me not to contact him again. Which I obviously did, I've sent two or three texts, one being 'I can still come to see you, there's no need to reply, I don't want to argue, just letting you know' Then another saying I loved him but he doesn't want me ect....all have been ignored. So honestly, was it me that finished it? Or am I over thinking things? Either way, I'm going complete NC.
TaraMaiden Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 No, by the sound of it, he's the one that asked for an end to contact. But really, you need to drop this and concentrate on yourself, your healing, your well-being and your progress. You've read the NC link in my signature... yes? 2
TaraMaiden Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 God, aren't you sick and tired of this? How long have you been agonising over this jerk, now? For goodness' sake, why are you even still giving him head-room? Isn't it time you began living a life for yourself, rather than thinking about him all the time? How long is it going to take? it's been 6 months already.... So I take it you've periodically broken No Contact - am I right? 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 No, by the sound of it, he's the one that asked for an end to contact. But really, you need to drop this and concentrate on yourself, your healing, your well-being and your progress. You've read the NC link in my signature... yes? My message started with 'I guess you don't want to be with me anymore' and ended with 'I won't bother you again, good luck with everything' Then he replied like I said, then asked me not to contact him again. I can't help but think it was me that ended it. And yes, I read it often.
Zahara Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 LostGirl11, I've read your posts. You've been on the same rollercoaster ride with this dude for more than a year now. What does it matter who ended with whom. He does not want contact with you. He's ignoring you. Granted he was probably getting off the phone because he was tired of arguing and you 1) chose to respond that way because you interpreted his message as him ending with your OR 2) you chose to respond that way because you were provoking a reaction in hopes of gauging to see where he is, it all does not matter. I'm thinking #2 and if so, you dug your own hole. In any case... Obsessing over details is useless because at the end of the day, if someone wants you, you wouldn't have spent more than a year having the exact same immature conversations, the same exact push and pull patterns, the same exact "I'm outta here" outcomes over and over again. It would work, it would be healthy, it would be the relationship that keeps you happy versus the relationship that has been bouncing you from one extreme to another. I would suggest you go back and read all your threads. Maybe that will help you at least realize how unfulfilling and damaging this has all been for you.
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 No, by the sound of it, he's the one that asked for an end to contact. But really, you need to drop this and concentrate on yourself, your healing, your well-being and your progress. You've read the NC link in my signature... yes? My message started with 'I guess you don't want to be with me anymore' and ended with 'I won't bother you again, good luck with everything' Then he replied like I said, then asked me not to contact him again. I can't help but think it was me that ended it. And yes, I read it often.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 If mental gymnastics were an Olympic sport you'd be a gold medal favorite. 3
forgetmenot75 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I think he broke up with you. He sounds tired of you. He must be a jerk, and I understand why you can't break with him definitely. We get used to the abuse to the point we need it. You need to move on, don't contact him, don't answer his messages, just forget about him, as hard as it sounds.
jolie_baby Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 My message started with 'I guess you don't want to be with me anymore' and ended with 'I won't bother you again, good luck with everything' Then he replied like I said, then asked me not to contact him again. I can't help but think it was me that ended it. And yes, I read it often. The context tells it was him breaking up with you... sorry about that.
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 If mental gymnastics were an Olympic sport you'd be a gold medal favorite. This is very true. I hate how I over think every little thing! This is all I've been thinking about all day! I'm going to the doctors tomorrow. My brain is doing over time and I'm going to end up making myself ill. I need something to help me along.
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 The context tells it was him breaking up with you... sorry about that. Even though I said bye and take care first? Get a grip LostGirl11.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Anyway, it doesn't matter. You've already tried to make amends since then and he hasn't had it. Even if you were the dumper originally (which you weren't, you are just looking to think about this for whatever reason), the moment he said "thanks but no thanks" to any reconciliation attempt you became the dumpee.
iouaname Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I wish that I had kept the advice that I had been given about going no contact. I knew that it was the right thing to do but I continued to break it or allow it to be broken, thinking that I knew better. I've learned better now, but those people were right all along. Treating this like a death is really the best way to move on from it. And to answer your question (though I've already told you this), it sounds like he was just trying to get you to do his dirty work for him.
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 I'm going NC. I can't keep doing this to myself. Enough. I'm tired. He is a complete mind ****. I don't think he knows he's doing it though.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I'm going NC. I can't keep doing this to myself. Enough. I'm tired. He is a complete mind ****. I don't think he knows he's doing it though. Actually he's really not doing anything, at least in this current situation. You are mindf--king yourself here.
forgetmenot75 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 You need to start taking care of yourself. He doesn't care about you right now. Go NC, and heal your wounds.
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Actually he's really not doing anything, at least in this current situation. You are mindf--king yourself here. I just don't want him thinking that I dumped him. Don't know why, I just don't.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I just don't want him thinking that I dumped him. Don't know why, I just don't. That's absurd. He doesn't care. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Why do you care about that? Because I wasn't dumping him, and it just makes me sad that he might see it that way.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Because I wasn't dumping him, and it just makes me sad that he might see it that way. Stop. I mean, doesn't this get old?
TaraMaiden Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Who gives a schytt what he thinks - ?! This was so long ago he probably doesn't even remember the course of events - only you do that - by going over the same stuff, over and over and over again!! You really shouldn't give a gram of a damn how he's feeling, what he's thinking or anything else for that matter! The person you patently need to be looking after, is you!! Really?? Aren't you so sick and tired of this constant replay?!!?
forgetmenot75 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Because I wasn't dumping him, and it just makes me sad that he might see it that way. Does he cares about how are YOU feeling right now?
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Who gives a schytt what he thinks - ?! This was so long ago he probably doesn't even remember the course of events - only you do that - by going over the same stuff, over and over and over again!! You really shouldn't give a gram of a damn how he's feeling, what he's thinking or anything else for that matter! The person you patently need to be looking after, is you!! Really?? Aren't you so sick and tired of this constant replay?!!? It wasn't that long ago. We got back together in March then broke up again this month. Maybe you're thinking I'm still going over the break up that happend in January. Yes. I'm sick of it. I've been reading my old threads and I actually feel dizzy!
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Does he cares about how are YOU feeling right now? No, he doesn't. I just keep thinking he isn't replying because he thinks I finished with him. I wish I didn't care, I wish I was a cold hearted sour faced cow.
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