Author candie13 Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 I dunno, TM ! I mean, I see both your point and I totally agree about thinking for myself and about myself, but at the same time, every time people get dumped over text messages, they wish the dumper would have at least taken the consideration to do this properly, like a clean break. I have suffered not because of the break up, in itself, but also because of the way it was managed. Many many times. Now that I am in the driver's seat, I just don't feel like abusing my position and just turning a cold shoulder. I dunno... oh and we did have some violent fights, in his mind, most girls have a more or less mild form of depression so he is usually telling people to get help - including myself - as he's quite balanced and rational. I'll sleep on it...
It's Just Me Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Quite balanced and rational? Let's add cold and misogynistic, based on what you've just said. It amuses me that you feel it's important to make him feel better about the way you dumped him, after he clearly sh*t on you. Then again, I'm not you, and I have a clear understanding of my value as as a person and refuse to indulge anyone who underestimates me, so... I think I will stop talking. Good luck.
Author candie13 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 I think you are right. I hate being the bad character, but this time, it's just me, standing up for myself. I did not answer or call back, and decided to never do that. I suspect he will make contact again, upon my return back home. I'm learning a lot here
Leigh 87 Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Yeah. What ^^^she^^^ said. lol:lmao: What she said ^^^^^^^^
Leigh 87 Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Candie 13, I have learnt that: sometimes a guy can really like you or even love you, yet just have character flaws. Or, they like you well enough, but they act in ways that are not something you will tolerate in a relationship. He may call you, still. He may remain in contact occasionally. It is your job to think " well, maybe he does truly like me as a person. He may even want to be with me again. Irrespective of how much he may like me, the way HE is not enough for me" That is the road I am taking, and it helps to think with that mindset. My ex contacts me too. I just remember that, even if he does really love me, there is no use contacting him, seeing as I deserve better than a man like him. It is only feeding out egos. There is honestly NO reason for us to reach out to them. Do you want a relationship with a guy like him? No matter how much he likes you? Even in the best case scenario, where he says "candie 13, I really like you and I will do anything to make things work with you. I will work on my character flaws just so we can have a chance of being together" EVEN THEN, do you trust he would work hard enough to stop the lying? There is no reason to break No Contact. Not even in the best case scenario I talked about above..... Where he admits he was a jerk and is willing to change for you. 1
Author candie13 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 Hugs, girl, spoken like a true wise person! Thank you!!! Truth is, he never said he'd done anything wrong, never promised to treat me better... So all our discussion here is pointless, indeed. I'll stay strong & carry on with NC. I'll keep you posted if anything new happens when I get back home.
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