Emilia Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Unless I'm exclusive with a woman I don't think I have the right to tell her not to sleep with other men. OTOH I don't want to date a woman who sleeps with more than one person at a time so where does that leave me? Given the "times" we're in I think it's better to keep my mouth shut and wait for exclusivity. Any talk of such matters seems to put pressure on them even though I don't think it should. I think it's really sad that people don't stand up for themselves and allow others to treat them poorly 1
Gottabestrong Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I guess what i was trying to get at here was that what if you are still getting to know the person and fair enough they haven't disclosed they multidate and you haven't asked BUT you then bump into them while they are on another date so the fact that they are multidating is prematurely disclosed so to speak. What would your reaction be? Question for both parties. Well, it depends on the state of our 'relationship' and on how they act when I run into them on a date with someone else. For example, if there has not been any physical interaction yet, other than a kiss on the cheek or hug to say hallo or goodbye, and when I see them they stand up to say hallo like they would to a friend, then I might be taken aback, or disappointed, but continue dating them. However, if we have already kissed, held hands, or even more, and I see them out on a date where they are holding hands or kissing someone else, that could be very awkward and uncomfortable. The same if they barely acknowledge me or pretend they didn't see me. At this point i would probably think about whether I would want to see them again, and if I do I would bring it up on our next date and try to get some kind of confirmation of 'what are we'. I.e. are we dating exclusively or not? Then again, if I am not too interested in the guy anyway and see it more as a casual or friend-thing, than I would not mind running into them on a date, as long as they said hello and acknowledged that we have some sort of 'relationship'.
SJC2008 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I think it's really sad that people don't stand up for themselves and allow others to treat them poorly I was in a multi dating situation once. I told her I don't have a problem with it but if we get to a point where we're having sex, that's where I draw the line. She still seen me after I told her that and we slept together two dates later but I wasn't going to ask her to be exclusive, it was too soon. That's what throws a wrench into things. Either way, unrelated drama ensued and things fell apart as I realized I was rebound guy and decided to bail but I should of bailed two dates earlier!
Phantom888 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I am not into multi-dating. I would not be interested in women who multi-dates. As mentioned earlier, there is nothing wrong with chatting with different people or even having dinner dates, as long as there is no sex involved. I can't respect a woman who has sex with different men just because she is not "exclusive" with any of them. That's just trashy behavior, and a big turn-off. For me, since I don't ever use a condom, it is essential that my partner is not multi-dating. I make sure there is exclusivity before sex...that's my rule. The ladies are always happy about it. I really hate this whole "assuming" thing in the dating world. Why can't people just be honest upfront? If you multi-date, then you should date people who also multi-date. I should have the option to decide if I want to be with someone who is just playing the field. I would NEVER sleep with a woman who is sleeping with someone else. That's just plain gross.
sillyanswer Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I am not into multi-dating. I would not be interested in women who multi-dates. As mentioned earlier, there is nothing wrong with chatting with different people or even having dinner dates, as long as there is no sex involved. But that is multi-dating! Different people... dinner dates... For me, since I don't ever use a condom, it is essential that my partner is not multi-dating. I make sure there is exclusivity before sex...that's my rule. Nothing wrong with making sure there is exclusivity before sex, and that sounds essential if you're not going to use condoms (along with waiting 12 weeks and then getting tested). Brave man!
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