a-lister Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Hi everyone, I've been reading some posts for the last couple of days and decided to join. My situation is currently on sort of NC since late March. We were seeing each other since mid December. I'm 31 and she's 30. Things were going great, according to her. She ended things supposedly due to not spending enough time together the last two weeks and her not wanting to force things if they weren't coming naturally. I accepted it and told her that I'm not going to try and change her mind. The next day I sent her a text message saying that I was more than willing to make things work, but her reply mentioned that when two people want to get to know each they want to spend time together and that hasnt been happening with us the last two weeks. I wished her all the best with everything. She replied by saying that she didnt know what else to say or do. My reply: There is nothing else to say or do. The only times I broke NC was to text her for a DVD boxset back, which I left at her house. The night she ended it I told her to leave it in my mailbox or I'd go around and pick it up. She hasn't bothered returning it. And then about 4 weeks ago I sent her a happy birthday text. The not coming naturally part is due to incidents that happened the last two times we started to have sex. First, we were a bit rough and I got injured and had to stop. Second, after two weeks of recovering from that first incident, we started again and she kind of forced the condom on and I flinched as it hurt and she got angry and started questioning our sexual compatibility. She mentioned that everything was great between us, except she felt frustrated and she's a sexual person and wants to have sex. I said that I wanted the exact same thing. After that small heated discussion, I went to leave but she asked me to stay. The whole night I felt like **** and thought of ending things myself. A couple of days later, I called and apologized and she apologized too for getting upset and that we can work it out. I'll add a note here, by mentioning, the first two times I stayed over at her place, and we started fooling around, she had her period and she thought it would be best if we didnt have sex. I understood and calmed her down, so we continued kissing. The last time we saw each other she said she was tired. To me she was distant. So I had a feeling the end was near. So its being 2.5 months since she ended things and to be honest I miss her. She was into me and I was into her and I actually thought she could have been the one. I didn't put her on a pedestal or was never needy or clingy. She must've thought the same about me, as she told her sister about us (I used to work with her sister). And she introduced me to some of her close friends. Since ending it, I've met and been on a couple of dates with two other girls. Both nice, but no attraction between us whatsoever. I've thought about contacting her, but she ended it, so she should be the one contacting me. All these what ifs are running through my head. Excuse the long post. Hope it makes sense. Trying to keep my fingers busy from doing anything stupid. Any thoughts/advice would be great. Thank you.
Ordinaryday Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 what advice are you looking for? there is no 'magic' way to get someone to come back to you, if there was no one would ever be dumped! try to get on with life, try to forget about her and for the love of God DO NOT CONTACT HER FOR ANY REASON - if you contact her FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER you will just come across, at best, desperate needy and clingy, and at worst, stalkerish. live you life and maybe although it is a big maybe, she might contact you down the line to ask for another chance. stranger things have happened, but don't bank on it. and maybe in a year or so's time she might contact you for another chance - but by that time you have already met someone else and no longer want her back - that will hurt her so much
MidwestUSA Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 (edited) She sounds like she's not very patient and understanding in the bedroom. If you have difficulties, you work on them together. Not sure why you'd want to go back and subject yourself to this (put your own condoms on in the future). "Not spending enough time together over a two week period"? Really?!? Again, impatient. It sounds like an excuse. Stay NC and stay strong. Best wishes. Edited June 10, 2013 by MidwestUSA 1
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