bebzzzy Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Hello, I came to this forum hoping to find solution for my situation. Long story short, it is nearly 2 years long relationship with many ups and downs mostly due to her reluctance to commit and my consequent lack of thrust. We're both in 30s. She told me in beginning that she is slow to open due to some past issues and that she is affraid of getting hurt. Some 2-3 months ago things started to change for better. I could feel she is investing more effort and is more dedicated to relationship. However, we still used to fight from time to time. The problem arised last week. Fight started over something on Saturday evening. It is not trivial thing and I was trying to reach compromise. However, she sometimes can be stubborn and she kept her side. Arguing continued until Wednesday evening. I tried to talk her into my way of seeing things but she would not let go. Finally, Wednesday evening she bursted into cry and told me she cant take it anymore and that I cant have long draining conversations. Her words were "you have to stop, please stop". At that point I realised that she means more to me than being right. I spent night thinking whether I made mistake and how to make it right. She callled that same night and told me she loves me but is hurt. Next morning she called again and we talked. Her words were that she feels emotionally exhausted and that there is this awkward feeling of not caring whether we will argue or whether we will break up. Same thing continued on Friday. On Saturday she asked to meet. This came as shock to me. We kissed, talked openly and hugged. I apologised once again for pushing it too far while she said that she was hurt. I could tell she is. I asked whether she would need some time alone or wants to break up. Her words were that she does not want that but is confused with this feeling inside. She repeated that she loves me but I could feel that she is closed inside and scared. Then yesterday I wrote her a story like I used in our early days. Later while we were texting she sent me kiss twice. This morning she stopped by my office before going to her work and invited me for coffee later. She is still there but I can feel something is different. I dont know what to do and how to make things the way they were before (of course without arguing this time). Could this be temporary issue or did I lost her. I really love her and want to make it work. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Roadkill007 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 She's just emotionally withdrawn a bit to protect herself. Just keep this in your heart from now : "At that point I realised that she means more to me than being right," and do your best to not drop the ball again, and if you do, apologize promptly for hurting her. I know what you mean, though, as I also have this obsession with being right. It's sometimes very abrasive in a relationship, and saying sorry is saying that your relationship matters more than you being right. Good luck, and hang in there.
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