Bunnyrabbit Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Soon going through divorce myself I am scared to death when I realize my whole life will change for the worse when it comes to lifestyle and finances. I will have do downscale from a house to an apartment at 45 years of age. I will later have to look for a new job that pays better and I can't even think about what the future will look like for me. I'm sick to my stomach going through this and I've had doubts if it's worth it. But I can't fight the Universe that seems to think that we shouldn't be together and I've had three different "Mediums" telling me "the lifespan of our marriage is over and that he's not the one for me". Even though I love him and don't know how to go on without him, my gut instinct is telling me that we are supposed to go our separate ways because we can't make it work, no matter how much love we have. I don't think I will ever be my authentic self, whatever that is, if I would to stay. I feel like I would betray myself and ignore all the signs I've been getting that this is not working. But how did you tell yourself that you were doing the right thing when you sometimes had doubts?? What made you keep going??
Ch_11 Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 I don't know the answer, but I'm in the same exact place. Only staying for the finances. Actually, only staying for the child. I am still conflicted on when/if/how to file for D. I don't want to move out before I've filed, because I would have a very hard time taking my son with me. He wouldn't want to move away from his neighborhood and friends, school district and house, just to live in some affordable apartment that'll not compare to what he has now. Are you with or without kid? If I had no children, I wouldn't be worried at all. I would live wherever.....with a little bit of income, and somehow it would work out. But I have to think for two people, and make decisions for a first grader. No idea what to do. But I hear you.....staying for the financial security - definitely. I could never afford the house on my own. No idea what a judge would decide in this case. Let me stay for my kid, and make him pay a majority of the bills? Or make me move, and give my h physical custody? Ugh. Don't even want to begin thinking about it.
Author Bunnyrabbit Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 So sorry to hear about your situation! It makes me realize how it's much "easier" when you don't have kids like in our case. You have a lot to consider but I think you're in need of a consultation which are out there for free. So you can ease your mind what your legal rights are when you are ready to take that step. You might be entitled to more than you realize and that will make the decision a little easier. Who would have thought it would be this tough though. I've been thinking about this for years and realizing it's not working but when it finally goes down you still don't feel ready for it:(
GorillaTheater Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 But I can't fight the Universe that seems to think that we shouldn't be together and I've had three different "Mediums" telling me "the lifespan of our marriage is over and that he's not the one for me". Hold the phone. Mediums? (Media? ) I haven't looked at your back story, so forgive me, but do you have a more concrete reason than aural incompatibility to break up the marriage?
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