HopelesslyStuck Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 It's been about five months since the breakup. We haven't had much contact at all in that time. And anytime we did come in contact, it wasn't anything big or relationship related. Today has been tough. I know its inevitable to have good and bad days.. but I'm sick of feeling this way. Ya know, lonely, miserable, thinking "what if", reminiscing.. It's been difficult. Basically, I want to contact my ex. I think I'm ready.. just not ready to get rejected by having no response. I don't know how to go about contacting my ex. I keep telling myself if they wanted to talk to me, they would.. but they haven't, at all. When we broke up, I gave them distance. I didn't try contacting them, I went out with friends, did my own thing, focused on school and other things for a while.. but lately, the only thing that has been on my mind is to contact them. Is it too early to say anything? Should I say anything? What should I say? I've reevaluated everything that happened, and I want to start off fresh. Even just as friends. What to do, what to do..
turnerik Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 1. You can't be friends with her, I'm sorry but there is no way to last as friends. 2. You have to be prepared to start off again as friends, and hope it sparks up a flame, if not, then you will never be happy being with her. 3. If you are afraid of rejection, then you shouldn't contact her 4. I asked my ex to a baseball game today. She has been ignoring me, so I expected her to ignore me. I was shocked when she responded. She said no, but I actually had to thank her for responding, that's how excited I was for her to respond. She had plans, so maybe it wasn't me, but I don't want to give myself much hope. 5. If you do contact her, expect to be rejected. Do not constantly check your phone. Send the message and expect to be rejected. If she starts talking to you, take a while to respond. If you need help, come on here right away and post what she says and people will help you thru it. 6. Be prepared and expect the worst. Hope for the best!
Author HopelesslyStuck Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Thank you. However, I am a female & my ex is male.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 It's been about five months since the breakup. We haven't had much contact at all in that time. And anytime we did come in contact, it wasn't anything big or relationship related. Today has been tough. I know its inevitable to have good and bad days.. but I'm sick of feeling this way. Ya know, lonely, miserable, thinking "what if", reminiscing.. It's been difficult. Basically, I want to contact my ex. I think I'm ready.. just not ready to get rejected by having no response. I don't know how to go about contacting my ex. I keep telling myself if they wanted to talk to me, they would.. but they haven't, at all. When we broke up, I gave them distance. I didn't try contacting them, I went out with friends, did my own thing, focused on school and other things for a while.. but lately, the only thing that has been on my mind is to contact them. Is it too early to say anything? Should I say anything? What should I say? I've reevaluated everything that happened, and I want to start off fresh. Even just as friends. What to do, what to do.. The bolded says it all. You aren't ready. 3
Leigh 87 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 If they left you and you are the one who wished for a second chance? Never. NEVER contact them again. Not unless they reach out first. My ex, I know for a fact, is not going to bother contacting me within the next year or so, if he is NOT single. If they are NOT contacting you, it is because they are OVER you. Completely over you. They are also hooking up with other people and possibly dating someone special. If the dumper does not reach out and they were clearly the one wanting to walk away when you wanted them back, NEVER contact them. Let them reach out. Even then it is risky. 5 months means they could only want to be friends and they feel 5 months is enough for you to be cool with them banging other dudes, or worse; being madly in love with a new one. Don't do it. Just don't.
totallylost5040 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Hi there! I'd say if you want to start off as friends that's great news, but don't expect him to come back to you so soon. I know its been a long time, but if you want to try to change their feelings you can't remind them of anything bad. Don't talk about the relationship, rather talk about fun times from time to time from when you were together. Psychology works weird that way, it'll start to trigger happy moments when you two were together, just don't for the love of god talk about how you have changed (show it) don't talk about what went wrong, don't talk about what could have and should have been it'll only bring up sour and negative moments. If you do decide to meet up, make the experience a positive one. If you do meet, make it no longer than an hour. Patience is the key if you want to win them back, you can't change anyone's MIND, change the way they feel about you. People get back together ALL the time, its just a matter of time and luck.
1908 Posted June 11, 2013 Posted June 11, 2013 I wouldn't. Not at this time anyways. You're not ready if you'll get down from a possible no response on his part. I'd just keep chugging along through the pain as dreadful as that sounds. It'll eventually subside. If you contact him and he gives no response or are distant with you, it'll put you in a worse position than you are right now. There's no shortage of stories on here with people that contacted their ex when they weren't ready and felt their heart crushed all over again.
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