fergus285 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I've been in love with the same woman since i was a freshman in high school. i wrestled with her brother and that was how i met her. it started off the usual. no clue what to do to impress her. i resorted to wrestling my hardest and ended up doing great. but it didn't seem to help. i talked to her. asked her out. spent countless hours with her and in the end ahe said she just wanted to be friends. i tried. then she suddenly had feelings for me and i was elated. we went out twice. she told me not to talk to her after the second date. when i asked why she said she luied to me and that she only went on the dates because she felt sorry for me (this was my senior year). so i didn't talk to her for tqo years. then i started dating another girl ( i was nineteen) and suddenly here this girl is again wanting to chat. no matter how hard i tried i couldn't hold back my feelings. we talked until just before i married my now ex wife. she broke contact so she wouldn't be a homewrecker. she hit me up again may of last year when my ex and i first seperated. she said she wanted to make sure i didn't kill myself. we talked three weeks before she broke contact again. she told ne i just had a crush but i know its more than that. i think about her every day and honestly i hurt. my body wants to shut down with how much thinking of her hurts. am i insane? am i on par with stalkers? how do i forget about her? please if you can help i hope to hear from you.
drr6 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 She sounds like a manipulative attention seeker. Completely disregard the pity line. Nobody goes out based on pity. She got something out of it, even if it was attention, ego boost, whatever. But pity is not the correct word, and it is used just to be a manipulative bitch. The toying and lack of boundaries is driving you nuts. It's time, once and for all, for people to play their hands. You tell her, "I dig you. Get back to me if, and only if, you want to go out on a date. Peace." This way you either: A) Stop all communication with her. It will resolve the what-if-we-tried doubts that are driving you nuts and also make it easier to forget her. But you have to be strong and not get suckered in to any other attention seeking, pseudo-friendship communication like the past. Do not answer unrelated texts or calls. OR B) You'll go out with her a couple of times and realize she is an attention seeking, manipulative wacko. That should also help you move on. Whatever you do, stop the current dilly-dallying. Don't permit her to toy with you like this.
Author fergus285 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 I appreciate the response and the advice man. although i must say its about four years too late. i no longer live near her and have no way of contacting her. mostly i posted this as a how do i stop thinking about her. but thank you.
drr6 Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Ok. Agreed that moving on is hard. But when she contacts you again, remember this advice about boundaries. She pops in and out when she feels like it, which makes closing the book harder. Don't get suckered into any pseudo-friendship communication. Clearly state what you want: that you are only interested in a romantic relationship (or no communication at all.) Believe me, you will not be a d*ck and she'll respect you 100 times more.
Author fergus285 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Well fortunately (or unfortunately) i won't have to deal with it anytime soon. she has a new bf and i guess has forgotten me. **** like this is why i used to cut and why i enjoy tattoos. that physical pain release helps.
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