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Posted

It's been almost 3 weeks since i spoke to my ex. i am not texting him and he is the same way. he still has some of his stuff at my place and he still has the keys to my apartment.

 

if he is done with me, why he is not returning my keys? what is really trying to do here? few days after we parted ways, my grandmother passed away. i told him about this, but then after that, i never heard anything from him anymore.

 

and now, it's been 3 weeks. i'm still hurting a lot but i dont want to contact him. in a way i want him back but in a way i want it to be over. but why he hasn't returned my keys? i know ive been asking such stupid questions but i want to hear from other people especially men why are they holding on to things. is it to make me think about him and still control me in a way?

 

thanks a lot for your inputs.

Posted

I went through the same thing... send him a business like no emotion email asking for your keys or send a stamped return envelope to his house with instructions.. I got mine dumped at her mothers house good luck!

Posted

Change your locks and have a mutual friend drop his stuff at his place. Why wait and let it bother you? You need to go NC and heal and move on. These items you staring at are only delaying you moving forward.

 

To your question, who knows why he's doing this. I'm male and when my ex told me we were done, I had ALL my stuff back within two days and hers returned as well. The next step to CLEAN your apt of any reminder of him, delete texts, emails, etc.. Wipe him out of your life.

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Posted

thanks but what I dont understand is why he is still holding onto my keys? i still have his stuff but i think having my keys is much more important the pair of boxers he has at my place.

Posted

From a guy's POV, he probably doesn't even realize he has them. When me and my GF broke up two weeks ago, she had stuff I didn't remember leaving with her and vice versa...

Posted
thanks but what I dont understand is why he is still holding onto my keys? i still have his stuff but i think having my keys is much more important the pair of boxers he has at my place.

 

Don't read anything into this OP. It's not worth analyzing.

 

He has a set of keys that will never be used. I'm sorry if that hurts but you have to see it that way.

 

My ex had keys too. He never used them, and I am glad he didn't in hindsight.

 

Do yourself a favor and change the locks, drop his stuff off at Goodwill and be done with it.

 

I say this with the deepest understanding **hugs**

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Posted

just an update. so i finally texted him today and asked for my keys (since i can't be over-analyzing about this and need to move on). so he said he will come by on thursday, but i said i wont be home till 7. He told me that he will come at that time then. so I told him, if he doesnt want to wait, he can drop off the keys at the doorman. He said yes, just pack my stuff and leave by the doorman. and i just replied ok.

 

somehow i still wanted to see him and now feeling this deep sadness inside of me. it's so easy for him to say just leave it by the doorman and like he doesnt want to see me. i feel so much pain right now.

Posted
just an update. so i finally texted him today and asked for my keys (since i can't be over-analyzing about this and need to move on). so he said he will come by on thursday, but i said i wont be home till 7. He told me that he will come at that time then. so I told him, if he doesnt want to wait, he can drop off the keys at the doorman. He said yes, just pack my stuff and leave by the doorman. and i just replied ok.

 

somehow i still wanted to see him and now feeling this deep sadness inside of me. it's so easy for him to say just leave it by the doorman and like he doesnt want to see me. i feel so much pain right now.

 

It will get better, I promise.

 

TBH my last ex (was short-term, but intense) was extremely cold with the breakup. IMO it is better to not have to deal with the coldness in person. Go your separate ways and be done with it.

 

You can't move on if the final possessions are not dropped off, and it might as well be as peaceful and unemotional for you as possible right now, aka, not face to face. Whether in person or not, the reality of the breakup does not change.

 

The pain does end.

 

All the best.

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