Jono85 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 (edited) just a bit of a vent, and i know guys do similar stupid things, this isn't a girls are the worst type thread or anything. but this has happened to me 3 times now.. so i'm out for a friends bday. meet this girl, who's a friend of my buddy's sister. we hit it off pretty well, and of the big group of us we're kind of hanging together quite a bit, and seem to share similar interests etc. anyway, we get to the club. i actually meet this other beautiful spanish girl in line (other girl was already inside..) and even get drinks with her and her 2 friends as soon as we get inside, and exchange numbers, but i tell her i have to get back to my friends bday thing and will catch her later. i did this b/c i was really more interested in first girl. anyway, so me and this girl continue chatting and head to the dance floor with her friend. we dance for a bit, nothing intense, she was dancing with her girlfriend (buddys sister) and so it was whatever. her girlfriend later had to leave, and my girl surprisingly didn't go with her (that was a decent out if she wanted to leave obv but said she wanted to stay and have a good time). so we continue talking and go dance so more, just us two now. and we're dancing intimately (grinding) and she's pulling me closer, my hands are all over her, etc. and i begin kissing her cheek from behind her sort of thing, and a few times she would turn and we'd kiss for a bit, but not making out hard or anything. anyway end of the night and we're outside, and my memory is fuzzy here, but i'm pretty sure she says she's seeing someone, and "she's not that type of girl". i'm pretty sure i didn't ask her anything inappropriate as I wouldn't do that. but she said she had a really fun night and hopped in a cab and headed home. like what?! lol. like i said, this has happened a few times before where a girl i'm with all night and being fairly intimate with tells me after they have a boyfriend. it pisses me off though b/c had she told me that, or gave me different vibes, i would have went back to spanish girl or invested my time elsewhere. i feel used! lol. i added her on facebook, and she even msged me...her facebook seems like theres def a guy she's been seeing but no explicit official relationship signs. i just find it a bit selfish of girls to do this. furthermore you're really gonna let me put my hands all over you, kiss you and even kiss back and grab me etc, BUT you're seeing someone and don't want to pursue anything further? one of the last girls that this happened with, said she didn't want to tell me she had a BF b/c she knew i'd just stop talking to her and she wanted to have a fun night. sigh. well thanks for having a fun night at my expense! /rant Edited June 9, 2013 by Jono85
happykat Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 This sounds pretty normal - when women go out drinking and dancing they are just looking to have a good time on the dance floor. It's fun to flirt with guys and feel desirable,etc - plus it sounds like there was plenty of alcohol involved, which amplifies all that good stuff. Next time you are interested in someone, you should start off by asking if she has a bf. 1
Author Jono85 Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 This sounds pretty normal - when women go out drinking and dancing they are just looking to have a good time on the dance floor. It's fun to flirt with guys and feel desirable,etc - plus it sounds like there was plenty of alcohol involved, which amplifies all that good stuff. Next time you are interested in someone, you should start off by asking if she has a bf. i don't know, not saying you're wrong, but something about asking a girl if they have a bf at the jump feels cheesy. it's like they already know you're pretty into them, kind of just hands her all the power. i think MOST genuine girls will bring up the fact that they have a bf when you make advances, or just in talking to them for a while. i honestly think that's a girls duty, and not the guys to ask. i mean ****, so i'm kissing this girl on the dance floor, i would think most girls with bf's wouldn't just let that fly especially turning around to kiss back. is that really considered "fun on the dance floor" type of suitable fun these days? i guess if she really does have a bf, b/c like i said, i'm not sure whether it's official or anything, maybe they're just dating, but it's probably a good thing that things don't progress, b/c i certainly wouldn't be cool with my girl dancing intimately and kissing a dude on the dance floor when i'm not out with her.
NYC-BigKat Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 i don't know, not saying you're wrong, but something about asking a girl if they have a bf at the jump feels cheesy. it's like they already know you're pretty into them, kind of just hands her all the power. i think MOST genuine girls will bring up the fact that they have a bf when you make advances, or just in talking to them for a while. i honestly think that's a girls duty, and not the guys to ask. i mean ****, so i'm kissing this girl on the dance floor, i would think most girls with bf's wouldn't just let that fly especially turning around to kiss back. is that really considered "fun on the dance floor" type of suitable fun these days? i guess if she really does have a bf, b/c like i said, i'm not sure whether it's official or anything, maybe they're just dating, but it's probably a good thing that things don't progress, b/c i certainly wouldn't be cool with my girl dancing intimately and kissing a dude on the dance floor when i'm not out with her. I dont know but I guess the alcohol turns some girls into sluts & u had to deal with that. Maybe this explains how my uncle gets girls so easy when he goes to parties .
happykat Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 I dont know but I guess the alcohol turns some girls into sluts & u had to deal with that. Maybe this explains how my uncle gets girls so easy when he goes to parties . This is what I was thinking -- I think OP is surprised that girls act like this simply because of alcohol.. But have you ever seen those Girls Gone Wild videos? -- there is your proof!
Author Jono85 Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Jono85.... age range? I'm 27, she's 23 I believe. so yeah I know that this is an age range where girls aren't the most mature women.
Author Jono85 Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 This is what I was thinking -- I think OP is surprised that girls act like this simply because of alcohol.. But have you ever seen those Girls Gone Wild videos? -- there is your proof! Well if it were JUST the dance floor stuff, and it was a random i met, i guess it'd be more understandable and i wouldn't feel the need to vent as much. but the fact that she was best friends with my best friends sister, coupled with the fact that we were talking all night, about our interests (music), about our background, etc etc both seemingly into eachother, and then all the dancefloor intimacy, yeah i felt extra 'cheap' at the end of the night. oh so i'm glad you had a great fun night, and it's great you're "not one of those girls" who cheats on her boyfriend, but you just wasted my entire night *****.
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Hint: They don't all have BFs. They just don't want one right now. They think it's a safe, quick and effective way of letting you down. 3
Author Jono85 Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 (edited) Hint: They don't all have BFs. They just don't want one right now. They think it's a safe, quick and effective way of letting you down. well as i mentioned though, judging from my facebook creep she IS seeing some dude. spent valentines day in montreal and such and the most recent activity between them is easter weekend in april. so do i know whether they are official and still dating now? no. but it could be true that they're 'seeing eachother' still, but who knows. not going to invest any effort into it. if she wants to flirt over facebook a bit (she did send me a brief private msg when she accepted my friend request) then cool maybe it goes somewhere. if not, no worries. still think don't think she handled herself appropriately, but not a huge surprise with young girls these days. Edited June 9, 2013 by Jono85
LeGenDary_Man Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 @Jono85 Only an immature and/or attention-whore (girl) would behave in this manner. If lot of girls are like this in your country then you have lot of searching to do or focus on girls within your age range to find the right one. People have feelings and shouldn't be played in this manner. Next time you decide to date a girl, let her know in advance that you are looking forward to have a relationship and not some one-night-fun hookup. Also, do not take a girl to a dance-floor type setting on the very first date. Get to know her better first.
CptSaveAho Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 (edited) and my memory is fuzzy here, but i'm pretty sure she says she's seeing someone, and "she's not that type of girl". This is called last minute resistance... another guy listens to the words of what a woman says and completely ignores her actions all night (epic failure on your part).... all you had to do was put your finger up to your lip and say "shhhhhhhhhhhhhh" grab her hand and take her home learn to be persistent / she wanted you to be persistent Edited June 9, 2013 by CptSaveAho
Jon Tenzo Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 This is called last minute resistance... another guy listens to the words of what a woman says and completely ignores her actions all night (epic failure on your part).... all you had to do was put your finger up to your lip and say "shhhhhhhhhhhhhh" grab her hand and take her home learn to be persistent / she wanted you to be persistent Sorry dude but being persistent is for the girls that don't already have a significant other already.
CptSaveAho Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Sorry dude but being persistent is for the girls that don't already have a significant other already. Learn to read... let me requote Hint: They don't all have BFs. They just don't want one right now. They think it's a safe, quick and effective way of letting you down. she was at a club dancing hardcore / making out with another guy... she doesnt have a serious boyfriend.... she wasnt looking for one either.... she wanted to have fun if you are at a club looking for a girl to date/enter a long term relationship with, youre a moron if you are at a club looking to have fun and some flings you're in the right place
Jon Tenzo Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Au contraire I have encountered multiple females who I have KNOWN PERSONALLY to be in a relationship then they go off and make out with some extended member of the douche-life crew... The fact is with some of these girls (mostly under 25) you'll simply never know if they really have a BF or not, until he comes and performs a drive by on your place of residence for hooking up with his girl.
CptSaveAho Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 (edited) Au contraire I have encountered multiple females who I have KNOWN PERSONALLY to be in a relationship then they go off and make out with some extended member of the douche-life crew... The fact is with some of these girls (mostly under 25) you'll simply never know if they really have a BF or not, until he comes and performs a drive by on your place of residence for hooking up with his girl. they're losers and deserved to be pumped and dumped (they want it) and their boyfriends are idiots for dating them if i dated a girl that was doing this (i have), it would be a clear sign that shes a loser and i shouldnt be dating her and that guy gave me an easy way to walk away if im at a club making out with a chick and i want to bang her, that lame "i have a boyfriend line" wont stop me... op was LAME in facebook stalking her after the fact... shes at a club making out with another guy... whats the point in adding her? she hooked him emotionally and left him hanging.... his fault next time persist or walk away (both will work in getting you laid by the girl... she will chase even if you walk away.... walk away = NOT ADDING HER TO FACEBOOK) Edited June 9, 2013 by CptSaveAho
Jon Tenzo Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Not picking up a girl on Facebook to begin with would have avoided half of this mess (most FB hookups do not work out) but I digress...
Author Jono85 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 they're losers and deserved to be pumped and dumped (they want it) and their boyfriends are idiots for dating them if i dated a girl that was doing this (i have), it would be a clear sign that shes a loser and i shouldnt be dating her and that guy gave me an easy way to walk away if im at a club making out with a chick and i want to bang her, that lame "i have a boyfriend line" wont stop me... op was LAME in facebook stalking her after the fact... shes at a club making out with another guy... whats the point in adding her? she hooked him emotionally and left him hanging.... his fault next time persist or walk away (both will work in getting you laid by the girl... she will chase even if you walk away.... walk away = NOT ADDING HER TO FACEBOOK) you like to speak in black and white, yet life isn't actually like this, sorry. why did i add her to facebook? b/c adding ppl to facebook isn't really a big deal. you're making it sound bigger than it is. i just added 3 girls from that night that were all in this party (buddy's bday) b/c we shared good convo's/laughs. i don't have this insecure complex where i won't add girls that i would potentially want to bang or something silly. also, like you said in your first post, her actions showed interest. believe it or not, all girls are not sluts and will not **** on the first date and will make you put a little work in. i added her to facebook incase she falls in this category. as i mentioned, i'm not really sure whether she's dating some dude or not, i was drunk and know that the word "boyfriend" was never mentioned by her. for all i know she just felt uncomfortable going somewhere with a guy she JUST met in a big city, and she was all alone (her girlfriend went home). this is understandable. b/c she is friends with close friends, i'm not about to do your little "shushh come with me in cab" thing, that's pretty douchey. if it were a random fine, but she's not. also by adding her to facebook, it allowed her to see social value on my page (eg. profile pic liked by 30+ girls) and see what kind of guy i am (sounds cheesy but whatever). so if she was hesitant, she might feel more comfortable afterwards. lastly, i didn't msg her or anything, she inboxed me after accepting my request. we've since started some light flirting (ie. me teasing her and her reciprocating). who knows where this goes. i can put minimal effort in, and you never know. there's not one way to do things. the PUA bs will make you believe you have to do things a certain way, which is silly. girls are not all identical.
Author Jono85 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Learn to read... let me requote she was at a club dancing hardcore / making out with another guy... she doesnt have a serious boyfriend.... she wasnt looking for one either.... she wanted to have fun if you are at a club looking for a girl to date/enter a long term relationship with, youre a moron if you are at a club looking to have fun and some flings you're in the right place here's the thing with that. this was a bday event that started at a baseball game. we all got tickets to watch the game, where we met and first started getting to know eachother. and then walked to the bar after to continue the bday celebrations. it's not like either of us were necessarily going to a club to have a good time. we were celebrating a bday. i didnt 'pick this girl up in a club' type of thing. not entirely important, but still a bit relevant.
smokey bear Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 they're losers and deserved to be pumped and dumped (they want it) and their boyfriends are idiots for dating them if i dated a girl that was doing this (i have), Im sure this was even your preference for a while................................. xxx
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