alxnrwd Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 (edited) My ex broke up with me almost exactly a year ago. If you search my posts you can find the whole story, but essentially, we dated for 2.5 years before i got dumped for being immature and not ready for a serious commitment, which manifested in my refusal to move cities with my girl as we had planned, and our whole relationship turning to crap. I took the better part of this year to grieve and grow. We didn't talk after the breakup, which was probably for the best - but during my grieving process, around six months ago, I sent my ex a 20pg letter outlining everything I felt I messed up, apologizing, thanked her, and expressed a willingness to have a relationship again, on her terms. It was very sappy and perhaps too open, but it allowed me to feel as if I've said everything I need to say to move on. I finally feel completely over the relationship and the dreams we had together. I've moved to a new city, I'm dating other women and I'm happy every single day on my own. I am mostly unaware of what my ex is doing, and I don't believe or hope that we'll rekindle our relationship. Honestly, I don't even think about it anymore - I think I've pretty much completely processed everything, and I'm looking forward to getting to know new women more than anything. That being said, I still feel weird about the way things ended - so abruptly, on such bad terms, and with my letter being the last communication between us. I still haven't met someone who quite "checks all my boxes"the way she did - she and I are incredibly similar and did have a great thing before it got weird. I'd like if she and I could be friends, although I'm not positive I wouldn't become interested in her again if we were friends, to be completely honest - and I'm not opposed to that, although she'd have to show some maturity and growth herself. Now, a year since the breakup, we're each invited to a mutual friend's wedding. We'll be sitting at the same table, and we'll each only know 4 other people there, so we'll be seeing a lot of each other. I'm just planning to go and have fun with our friends, maybe dance with some grandmothers and children. That being said, all this feels pretty strange. Our first conversation since my letter is going to be at a reception table with mutual friends? What are we going to do at the ceremony - we'll probably end up sitting together... It just feels awkward, and that's the last thing I want. How do I make sure that it isn't? I was considering sending her a text saying that I didn't want it to be awkward and that maybe it would be good to catch up before the wedding? But that already feels as if I'm investing more in the situation than I should be. How do I balance wanting to be friendly toward her with not making this whole thing about her and my interaction? Edited June 9, 2013 by alxnrwd
juicygirl Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Oh lord, why oh why did you send that letter. I did the whole writing a letter to my ex after we broke up, but after I wrote it I pushed delete not send. You are not over her, because at first you say you've moved on, you moved cities and your even dating, great. Then at the end you start saying if she wanted to get back together you'd be open to the idea, if she can show that she's grown too. And you're worrying about the night and how awkward it will be. O.K stop looking for an excuse to contact her because you will make things weird, if you bring up that letter, which she may have forgotten about. Relax, first of all you don't even know if she's gonna go to the wedding. Say she does come with her date/boyfriend?. If I was you I would go and enjoy the wedding and bring a date of your own. If you have truly moved on,wether or not your ex comes or doesn't come shouldn't be an issue for you.
Darren Steez Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Just go to the wedding and enjoy it for what it is. It's not about her, no need to send any texts, you already spilled your guts in a letter that wasn't replied to. This is not an opportunity to get back together. Just chill and enjoy it. You're overthinking and over reacting..which will get you hurt (emotionally that is)
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