Atomic Posted October 9, 2004 Posted October 9, 2004 I’ve been going out with a girl from work for about 4 weeks and I really like her. Last week we arranged to go out to a few pubs and a club on Friday. Friday Night: She had a few mates with her (one was male) and we had a good time. She had been friends with this male friend for a while because they went to college together. I could tell during the night that they were a bit close. When we got to the club we found a table and sat down. She sat next to this male friend of hers and they seemed too been having a really good time together. I noticed at one point that his hand was on her leg and they had there arms around each other. Then out of the corner of my eye I’m quite sure I could see them kissing but I’m not certain. I think she looked at me to see if I noticed. I felt really angry and jealous. Later on, two mates I knew came and sat down next to me and they thought it was strange how this guy was carrying on with the woman I thought was my girlfriend. I couldn’t take this anymore so I walked off. After a while my two mates found me and said that she’s been looking for me. I had suspicions that she was going to leave me or something. Anyway, I walked over to her and she asked where I had been so I told her I went to the toilet. Next she put her arms around me and she started to kiss me. I could believe what was happening. My mouth just went numb and I struggled to kiss her back. I was like in a state of shock after what I though I saw earlier. I was quite drunk as well. I even told her I love her while we were kissing but I was so confused and angry. Saturday Night: I went to her place. On the way I explained to her that the reason I walked off was because I was jealous but I didn’t tell her how much I saw. At her place we sat down on the sofa and watch TV. I really didn’t want to be there I was so tense and angry. I wanted to talk to her about it but I couldn’t. I hardly said a word to her. About half way though the evening she got up and sat down on a different sofa away from me. I guessed she sensed there was a bit of an atmosphere between us. Towards the end of the evening I decided to talk to her about everything. I asked her to sit next to me and she said “what’s the point you’ll be going home in a minute” then she sat down. I just thought to hell with the whole thing what am I even doing here? A few minutes later, she said she was going to bed so I left. On my way though her front door I looked back and she was looking at me. I think she wanted me to kiss her but I didn’t. Sunday: I sent a text to her phone saying that we need to talk and to find out if we think we have a future together. She said that she was going to ask me the same thing. I wanted to end the relationship. Monday at work: When I saw her at work remembered what I saw in her and I wanted her back so badly because she is such a lovely person. I didn’t want to tell her my views on Friday because I wanted us to make up and get back together not split up. I told her how I feel about her. She wanted to know why I wasn’t speaking to her on Saturday and she said that we don’t seem to communicate. She said that she wanted to end it and just be friends. I kept saying to her that I really think that we could make it work but she said I’m a very nice and sweet guy and she doesn’t want to hurt me but it isn’t going to work. The whole situation has been killing me and I feel so hurt. The ironic thing is that I wanted to leave her because of Friday but she left me because of how I was acting on Saturday. How ironic is that. I can’t describe how hurt I feel. She does care about me because she asked my work college how I was and she emailed me asking how I got on after I had a curry with some friends from work. I asked her if she wanted to have a friendly drink at the pub during lunchtime one day next week and have a chat and she agreed. It’s been a whole week now since the traumatic weekend and I’m going to arrange this drink with her and talk to her about all of it.
bluechocolate Posted October 9, 2004 Posted October 9, 2004 This business with the way she was acting with a male friend while on a date with you - no way! Completely inconsiderate of you & your feelings - I would say that the reason she kissed you when she did is because she knew that what she was doing was wrong & it was an attempt on her part to pre-empt your, justifiable, anger & to assuage your hurt feelings. I don't think that 4 weeks into a relationship is enough time to really decide if you have a future together. But if someone behaved like that whilst on a date with me I would know for certain that there was no future. Your inclination to stop seeing her was correct.
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