swimswithjeans Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Well... It seems that my (I suppose ex) boyfriend... Is gone. He sent me a text saying 'let's just let go' after a week of him barely contacting me and me trying to reach out to him. He's done this before and I've respected his mistake but it was really hard this time; I was going through a lot and even though he needed his space, I thought he would suck it up and be the boyfriend he is really capable of being when he wants to. I am so sad. I told him if he wants out, it's fine, but I would like a conversation. And then... Nothing. He has pulled away intensely before and nothing like this, though. He is very dramatic and broody and goes into these periods of hibernation... So I suppose chances are he is bound to text me eventually. And that is the only thing thought that calms me. That he will definitely text me at some point eventually. I'm hoping for the 180 but not praying for it. I don't have enough energy left to do that. What I do know and absolutely want to tell him is that he can search the world from top to bottom... But we BOTH know that he will NEVER find someone who loves him, supports him, and understands him like I did. So the fact that he chose to be so cruel to me, the "sweetest, kindest girl" he has ever met, is really just a stupid choice to me. Especially after a pretty hostile marriage. I was his biggest cheerleader. I believe in EVERYTHING he did and knew for certain he would accomplish all that he wanted to and made for certain he knew i would unfalteringly be there every step of the way. I told him that, as long as I was around, he would NEVER have to be or feel alone if he didn't want to. I listened to him talk for HOURS about everything and I genuinely cared; it's not like he has a huge support system. When will he figure out what a mistake he made and what can I do when he does? Follow my head or follow my heart? I am 95% certain he will be back for me; and there is so much I still want to do with this man. Is a complete 180 possible? I understand these thoughts are not necessarily the healthiest, but they are ALL that are getting me through right now. I, someone who is remarkably strong and composed always, am ready to lose it. Throw things, scream, cry, crash my car... Why do I deserve this? I can honestly say I think I have been through enough awfulness in my life, truly.
Infomercials Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Hey there, Just thought I'd let you know you're not alone. In a lot of ways, this seems like how my ex has been acting. He's amazing, and then he blows cold and freaks out. Part of this is commitment issues, other things as well though. Here's something I'll warn you of though: it sounds as though he's done this and come back before. Mine does that, too. And yeah, eventually yours probably will. I know mine will at some point. Here's the thing, though. I don't want the guy who's going to go all hot and cold and freak out when we get too close. I want the guy who's ready to stick with me, and I'm guessing you do, too. I know I'll want to say yes if and when he comes back, but he's got a lot of work to do on himself before he can possibly be the guy I deserve.
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