Smitty Posted October 9, 2004 Posted October 9, 2004 Hello All! Now down to the details. I've been dating this girl for the past 9 months. There is a little bit of difference in age. I just graduated college, and she just started college last month. Before she went off to school, we were best friends. She didn't have too many friends back in high school, so I spent all of my time with her. Over the course of the nine months we became best friends and spent most of our time together. So, she goes off to school and for the first three weeks things are going really well. She is about two hours away and I drive each weekend to visit and spend the night. But, by the fourth week, she starts to get really cranky with me. I call her on it one night and she tells me that she needs to space and we can't be together. She tells me that this is the first time in her life that she is doing something for herself and she said she still loves me. A few days later she sends me some instant messages saying she loves me more than anything and that I'm everything that she wants in a guy. Then a few days later she goes back to saying she wants more time. This had been going on for almost three weeks and on Wednesday she told me it could be months before she is ready to have a relationship again. She does want to give us another chance, yet she doesn't want me to wait around for her. We decided that no contact is the best thing for the time being and we haven't talked since. She told me bthat she just needs some time to make friends and estabish a foundation and that "things happen for a reason." She also ensures me that she is not interested in meeting any guys, but this is all for her. Now, I will admit that the first few weeks she was up there, I did demand too much of her time on the phone. It was hard for me not being able to talk to her as much as we did. But, since then, I have become very understanding of her situation and have given her plenty of time/space to herself. I told her I want things to work out between us and I will do everything I can to work this out. I love this girl like crazy, and I know for a fact that she loves me too. Should I just assume that she wants to make friends that are girls and have some freedom? Or do I just start to get over her? Thanks for ready everyone! It's been a tough few weeks!
neptoon Posted October 9, 2004 Posted October 9, 2004 I felt the way your gf does when I was in college. You act different when your man is around than when your man isn't. It doesn't mean she wants to shack up with some guy -- it just feels awkward if you're party hopping and your man is constantly with you. Saturday is usually the best partying day. It really isn't about other guys -- it's about meeting people -- both male and female. When I was in college, the guy I was going out with at the time was always jealous. But I met a lot of guys I liked as friends and he would get mad everytime I talked to any guy. She's not only going to meet girls. Of course she will meet guys, too. It doesn't mean she wants to hook up with any of them. Of course the possibility may occur that she may be attracted to someone else later but that is always the case, even if you were living with her, is it not? You can't make anyone want to be in a relationship that they don't want to be in. It sounds like the two of you are at different stages in life.
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