k100danny Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 So I've been seeing this girl for a few months, we get on great and I have very little to complain about really, possibly the nicest girl I've ever dated and very good to me. Anyway It's early days but there are a few little things I expect from relationships, certain boundaries and then just things I think are a little odd, shes younger than me and we used to talk quite a bit on the phone before and as we started dating, It was more me calling but she did call, it is quite rare we speak on the phone now but we have both been so busy and like I say it is early days so we will probabaly get closer as time goes on if we continue dating. My problem is I sometimes don't like to say I have a problem with something or bring up little issues for fear of seeming controlling or if she feels she has to change her behaviour for me when I'd just like to talk about ho things are going if that makes sense. I think it can sometimes feel like nagging or the steriotypical controlling girlfriend/boyfriend ect and I don't want it to feel that way. This may be down to we are a bit different in certain ways and should we not be i wouldn't have to mention it? Like i say it's not huge problems or anything I just sometimes feel i can't voice my opinion and as she has been in a nasty controlling relationship before I'd like to show her that all relationships arent like that (she said she used to fear what was coming from her ex, what he was going to say or do at the littlest thing) Let me give a couple of examples, like I say they are small things but they are things that are important to me. 1. e are both busy and I do not need contact contact with someone I'm dating but i'd like someone to reply when they can, she is away this weekend with friends at a festival and the phone reception is pretty ****ty I know this from experience so I know she has arrived ok and we probabaly won't get to speak until she arrives back at the hotel so I wait just to see if she gets in touch to check shes ok ect, not gotten too drunk and fallen in a bush or something haha. But instead of getting a reply when she gets back to the hotel I see she has uploaded some pictures to facebook,instagram ect of her and her friends then half an hour later I get a reply. No this has nothing to do with her having fun with her friends I just feel like is it important if I come after that you know, like how important is the reply? (like i say not a huge deal but I feel a bit second row if that makes sense) 2. she can sometimes be a little TOO honest, I understand she gets hit on and I really have no problem with that at all, I wouldnt say im immune to jealousy but I'm an adult about it. I understand she wants to be honest with me but If there is nothing for me to worry about some things can go unsaid you know. so my question is should I be more upfront and just mention these things? Am i being unreasonable? or should I wait a while until we are a little closer and more serious (or does this look like I've changed when i finally mention it)?
starrynightz45 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 1. I think her responding to you within 30 minutes of getting back to the hotel is reasonable. She probably got back, changed, had some coffee/water, uploaded pics, and then texted you. I mean, sure it owuld be great if she texted you the second she got back to the hotel, but it's a little unreasonable. I would say you're pretty high up on the priority list if you got a response within 30 minutes of her having the opportunity to talk to you, but that's just my take on it. I wouldnt' mention this so early on. Let is slide for now and then you can maybe bring it up later, but she might not agree with you on it. 2. THIS you can bring up. This is stupid. There is no point/purpose in her oversharing in this department. It's plain annoying. You can nicely tell her that you appreciate her sharing and you know she's pretty etc, but that you're a guy and it does kind of get to you a little. Simple, shouldn't bother her.
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