Papillon Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 ^^^^^^^^^^^ I just cannot fathom the appeal What's so groovy about a strange woman/guy rubbing themselves in your face? Are people really so numbed that they cannot seperate the fantasy from reality? I mean - it's not personal in the least, so how can guys even begin to feel aroused? Just don't get it. I'd feel distinctly uncomfortable for the girl's sake, knowing that what she was doing wasn't meant for my heart and mind, but she was just doing her "job"? A total turn-off. However, if a woman was into ME, then it would be a totally different story. Are men really that idiotic to suspend belief and think that the lapdancer is into them? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Do you have to be into someone to be aroused by them? Isn't it the same thing behind porn? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Papillon Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 Women are nice to look at, and watching a woman's body move sensually is a wonderful thing...but why does it have to be in your face? The woman is just as attractive from 5 feet away. "Pretending" to get screwed by the woman isn't getting screwed by the woman. That's the distinction I feel people aren't able to make. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Question: in my country lap dancing has to do with Oriental music and women sensually dancing for it. Does lap dance mean a stripper doing a dance for one person as opposed to in front of the wholecrowd or am I missing something? I honestely don't know, so if you can fill me, I'd appreciate it. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 That was "fill me in". Sorry, it's a bit too early for me here... Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Freudian Slip Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 I think no one, apart from some very self-delusional people, actually believes the lap dancer is into them. Women are nice to look at, and watching a woman's body move sensually is a wonderful thing...but why does it have to be in your face? Being a woman, I can't tell for sure, but I understand why lap dances can be a bigger turn on than watching the women dance a few feet away. The dancer is giving attention to you only in that particular moment. She is *acknowledging* you. She is probably smiling at you. You can smell her perfume -that is, any perfume she is wearing and the perfume of her skin. There is brushing, grinding, a little physical contact. The dancer might decide to touch you a little. If you are not single, a lap dance is as close as you can get to cheating without being 'actually' cheating. Some time ago when i was single and bi-curious I went to a strip club with some male friends and I got a lap dance..... it was a lot better and much more thrilling than 'just looking'. The stripper was very nice and smiling all the time. Edited to add: now that I think of it, if I had already had some experience with women, I probably wouldn't have found the thought of a lap dance appealling at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Papillon Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 Originally posted by CurlyIam Question: in my country lap dancing has to do with Oriental music and women sensually dancing for it. Does lap dance mean a stripper doing a dance for one person as opposed to in front of the wholecrowd or am I missing something? I honestely don't know, so if you can fill me, I'd appreciate it. Thanks Hehe...."fill me" Funny funny. A lap dance is where the guy/gal straddles you, making thrusting pelvic movements and so on. Much different from belly dancing and dancing for a crowd. The dancer physically brushes up against you and so on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Papillon Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 Originally posted by Adunaphel Some time ago when i was single and bi-curious To change my own subject...so are you now: a) Still single and bi-curious b) Involved and bi-curious c) Still single and bi d) Involved and bi e) None of the above? Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Involved and bi-curious. If I'll ever be single again I'll still be curious and I'll probably be able to oogle at women and even enjoy porn pics of pretty girls (which I currently hate to death). Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 I honestely don't know, so if you can fill me, I'd appreciate it. Geez, can't a girl make an honest mistake? Plus, it was my keyboard, I am certain I have typed the "in". Damn keyboard making me look bad ! Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 Papillon, it's a hot naked chick rubbing on you. That's it. Nothing more to it. If you don't get aroused by that, well...that's very interesting. Then again, I get aroused by a nice gust of wind sometimes, so I can't say anything I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Nosmas Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 OK, its the keyboard's fault! Slather, Slater Slather Anyway, the lapdance costs $20/song; an expensive proposition for being dry humped (at best). This represents a luxury. A luxury hump! We really cannot apply economic theory of supply and demand to this expenditure, because it is not rational, or at least, any more rational than someone paying $1.5 million for a pair of Marilyn Monroe's underwear. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 So THAT'S how you spent all your money, Nosmas Hope they were worth it! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 I wish I coul say that those women are all force to be strippers/dancers/whatever. Most of them do it for the money, but you must 1. be very comfprtable with your sexuality and 2. like the job, at least a little bit. Even if she's doing it all ay long, we're talking women and men in the same room. Maybe she likes every one in every 10 guys. Chances are she does like some guys. Those women are not cash machines, I imagine they are subject tosexual attraction also, whatever the gendre of the client may be. So yeah, it does sound dirty, but it certainly can be exciting. Even if it involves paying. Everything is relative. She can like the guy, she can hate the guy, she can think of her lover while dancing. It can be humiliting and it also can be fun. It all depens on luck and what you're into ! Just like life, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 Then again, I get aroused by a nice gust of wind sometimes, so I can't say anything I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
zara Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 ok, from a lapdancer's p.o.v. ... yes, some guys really do think you want them - i can honestly tell youthis becasue at least 50% of guys i dance for in an evening will ask me for a date. But that is just a sign thati am good at my job. You see, a good lpapdance should be like getting an attention bath - to have someone's complete and undivided attention is a rare event in modern society and when coupled with an erotic charge you can imagine that is very attractive. I studied performing arts and it's just the same as creating on-screen chemistry - Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor may not have been gewtting it on in real life but their part Moulin Rouge is very convincing! A bad lapdance can be the terrible experience you describe, with the punter only too aware that this is some bored girl bumping and grinding her way another 20 bucks closer to paying her electricity bill. Not sexy. But as i said, am good at my job and when i smile and lick my lips and writhe in a punter's lap, it creates a perfect fantasy moment - the customer has had a close encounter with a fantasy he might only ever experience through films or magazines or media images (perfectly made up, dressed in pvc or a corset or see thru dress or bikini, hourglass figure, dd breasts, long flowing hair and six inch stillettos) and he can take that memory and do whatever he likes with it until the next time! and i think the theory works equally with women too. Especially those with bi/ lesbian fantasies, because again, we are those fantasy women, rather than perhaps the many more cmplicated realities of actual encounters with real women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Papillon Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 Zara, thank you very much for the input. This is extremely interesting, seeing it from the woman's perspective. I have some questions, if you don't mind? How much do you involve YOURSELF in the guy's fantasy? I mean, do you enjoy the attention you garner yourself...the exposure? How do you put yourself in that "sexy" mindset. Or does it come naturally? Or, alternatively, do you clinically dissociate yourself from it? Do you only see the guy, and the programmed responses he is likely to have? Do you have a checklist of "tricks" that you use to improve the experience for the guy? Thanks in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Lap dances can be very sensual if they are giving right! ( got a 20 pap.... Just kidding) When I danced I guess you can say I had a "checklist" of tricks but you have to feel the guy out first to see what they like. I made the experience very clean and sensual and give men the attention that they long for ( conversation, back rubs, someone to listen to them gribe) Bottom line it is what it is.... there are alot of lonley men, courious men and men that will pay to have a beautiful woman pay attention to them it's harmless and clean fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Papillon Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 What can I get for a fiver? (I'm easy, and cheap ) Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 YOu can buy me a drink with a 5 that's about it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Papillon Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 Originally posted by stoneheather YOu can buy me a drink with a 5 that's about it So a lapdance is worth 4 drinks? Damn... I wish my economics teacher had taught us these practical lessons. She was rather a hotty, too Link to post Share on other sites
zara Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 i personally, and most of my colleagues, do enjoy the reaction we provoke as long as it is respectful. It is our job to turn a guy on and we know that when he has a raging hard-on we've done our job. The best feeling of satisfaction is when we reduce them to gibbering wrecks who stagger back to their friends going "WOW!!! OH MY Goodness!" To be good at your job you have to involve yourelf in the guy's fantasy to an extent, you have to notice whether he is a boob man or a bum man, how much eye contact he likes, some like to talk whilst you dance some prefer silence, so you adapt your dance and persona accordingly. That 'sexy' midset comes naturally - that is when i dance 'sexy' is a style just like 'ballet' or 'contemporary', it's a performance, just like when Nicole Kidman is smouldering at whoever her leading man is. When the director says "cut" she stops smouldering and goes back to her trailer to finish the crossword. we totter back to the dressing room and scratch the itch on our bum we might well have had for the past five minutes! That is not to say it is cold and clinical, but to a large extent we are detached from it and whilst sometimes we do dance for men who we find atttractive, we would never dream of doing anything about it, a bit like doctor/patient ethics! Although we might well close the dressing room door and go "Phwoar! Did you get a load of that hot guy i just danced for?!" before we carry on squeezing each others spots and talking about our husbands/kids/ favourite t.v. shows (Nip/Tuck if you wanna know!) Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 A stage name helped me a great deal when I walked in to the club I was "CELESTE" a hot sex godess..... and when I left I was Heather my everyday self. It helps to get in to a Character role alot of girls use them for this reason and protection as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Papillon Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 Zara, have you ever considered that half the guys ask you for a date, simply because they happen to actually identify with the girl behind the goddess, and not the sex goddess herself? I know exactly what you're talking about, "descending into the role", I had that constantly when I did drama and stage acting at school. Makes perfect sense. Link to post Share on other sites
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