brokenship Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Ok... so Ive been in a relationship with this girl for roughly 5 years... we've had our ups and downs like any relationship.. and after about 3.5 years I called it off thinking that she was too needy and wanted more from me than I had to give.. To make it worse, all of this was right after we found out her grandma was going to pass away from cancer soon and I didn't want to put myself in the situation of dealing with her depression and spending all of my time with her when I was trying to focus on my career... Her family is super close and this came as a life changing event for her... Me, honestly loving her, after realizing that I felt so bad for leaving that I came back the very next day to her realizing that I had made a mistake. She didn't want to take me back so fast though after I had made it pretty clear that I wasn't going to be there for her through this ordeal even though I stuck by her side the entire time anyway... i was even there in the room with her as her grandma took her last breath. The day her grandmother passed away... one of the guys who lives in her neighborhood who had been texting her alot saw her outside crying and kissed her... she didn't stop it and I was very hurt by this after having stayed by her side through all of this...clearly proving that i didn't really mean that I wanted to leave her... She said since we were still "on a break" from when I told her I couldn't be there (even tho I stayed anyway) that it wasn't cheating.... a few weeks later her phone kept blowing up with texts from other guys... and she eventually kissed another guy.. but we were still on this "break" ....After a few months I forgave her and even moved into the grandmas empty house to help take care of the place before it gets put up for sale and we slowly rekindled the relationship.... as the past year has unfolded though she has become more and more mean..sometimes almost evil to me for seemingly no reason other than she doesn't like my sarcasm or jokes... I know its been hard for her dealing with the loss of her grandmother but some of the things are just downright uncalled for.. About two months ago she "broke up" with me again because she wanted me to change "my ways"....which I had no idea what that even meant. Then even though we were "on a break" once again she would continue to tell me she loves me and kiss me freely, stay up with each other till late hours of the night cuddling...stuff you only do when you are in a relationship As for me changing my ways I don't even understand what she's talking about because as far as I know and what my friends think,, I have been a good boyfriend... the only thing I can even think is that I'll defend myself when she calls me names or accuses me of being a jerk and my defenses make her upset Anyway on this latest "break" she has been hanging out with this new guy who happens to be in the same depression as her dealing with the death of his brother.... they seemed to be able to relate to each other well and seemed to be becoming more than friends... All the while still kissing me and telling me she loves me... but I had this gut feeling something was going on and the other day asked her about it.... she denied it several times but when I grilled her she admitted to kissing him a couple times... then she told me that earlier that same day the guy called her and said "oh by the way I have herpes and get cold sores" ....after she found that out she was coming back to me full swing begging for me to start over new.... I am freaked out by this but still love her dearly and asked her to get tested before I would kiss or be with her again...but everyone that knows the situation seem to think it isn't a big deal and say "oh it was only a kiss" "she shouldn't have to get tested and its just a little cold sore every now and then" "you know how many people Ive kissed and didnt get it?" I guess my question is this... if the person you loved "broke up" with you but continued acting as if you were still in a relationship and was out kissing other guys not saying anything about it... and could have possibly gotten oral herpes from it.. what the f*&* would you do??? if she is in fact positive there is no way I could ever marry this girl.... but I have to know... Theres so many thoughts goin through my head that I don't even know where to start... I basically told her this " you told me that you would never marry a guy who smokes weed...so I stopped smoking.... and Im telling you I would never marry a girl with herpes..so you need to get tested even if it was only a kiss and the guy had no outbreak at the time" Then again... Im wondering if even after being there through some of the hardest times of this girls life, that she still felt the need to go out and kiss and form relationships and friendships with other guys... what am I even doing considering fixing this? Im so lost in love. Any input would be appreciated
LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Fxck it dude, why do YOU need to change but she can go and kiss other dudes? Fxck that. Not worth it, your too young and plenty of other girls out there. You don't even sound like you even really want to be with her, more of a guilt thing. NC...move on...she's a hoe and may have herpes!!!!! Lol And don't be her friend, only makes it worst
W.E Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 She admits to kissing, which means she probably went further. They always admit the smallest amount they can get away with. Look, she's cheating on you already. Why on Earth would you stay with her? Things will only get worse. Stop being a doormat.
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