PogoStick Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Considering I'd get absolutely zero sleep on a floor, I'd take the bed. And in the few cases I've had to share a bed with another guy...did that make me gay? I'd say no more than sleeping politely next to a girl is cheating. 1
jolie_baby Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 So I was on a visit south and I met up with a few friends. Hotels were sold out so the only solution was to sleep in the same bed as 2 of my female friends, who my gf doesn't know personally. (just what I have told). Acceptable -/ Not Acceptable? Ideas? I would say it is acceptable if your gf is ok with it and she doesn't find it disrespectful... My two cents - it is ridiculous that you spend the night up or on some lobby couch when you can get in a bed and actually SLEEP (just sleep!)... especially if you are traveling which can be exhausting and consuming... - I have seen and heard and personally experienced situations and stories that I have learned that it is not spending the night sleeping on the same bed with a friend that will make you cheat or not... in my book: you will cheat if you want to cheat and you will not cheat even if the friend who got in bed with you got naked! I mean, just read some of the stories here on the infidelity forum if you don't know what am talking about... I know most people wouldn't agree but that is how I see it.
Author AverageCat Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 I would say it is acceptable if your gf is ok with it and she doesn't find it disrespectful... My two cents - it is ridiculous that you spend the night up or on some lobby couch when you can get in a bed and actually SLEEP (just sleep!)... especially if you are traveling which can be exhausting and consuming... - I have seen and heard and personally experienced situations and stories that I have learned that it is not spending the night sleeping on the same bed with a friend that will make you cheat or not... in my book: you will cheat if you want to cheat and you will not cheat even if the friend who got in bed with you got naked! I mean, just read some of the stories here on the infidelity forum if you don't know what am talking about... I know most people wouldn't agree but that is how I see it. Hey thanks, I agree with this 100%. There is no way on earth I would have cheated and my gf knows that. However, I know for sure that it would have bothered her and made her feel bad subconsciously.(although if I had just told her, she wouldn't have wanted to make a huge deal out of it). I didn't want her to feel bad for something stupid so I didn't do it. She said she appreciated that I thought about her when taking this decision and I left it at that. 1
Trimmer Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I would say it is acceptable if your gf is ok with it and she doesn't find it disrespectful... My two cents - it is ridiculous that you spend the night up or on some lobby couch when you can get in a bed and actually SLEEP (just sleep!)... especially if you are traveling which can be exhausting and consuming... - I have seen and heard and personally experienced situations and stories that I have learned that it is not spending the night sleeping on the same bed with a friend that will make you cheat or not... in my book: you will cheat if you want to cheat and you will not cheat even if the friend who got in bed with you got naked! I mean, just read some of the stories here on the infidelity forum if you don't know what am talking about... I know most people wouldn't agree but that is how I see it. I can see it the way you see it, but I didn't ever get the impression that he avoided the bed because he thought he would be too tempted. I accepted that HE knew what would have happened (nothing) because he knows himself. He knew he didn't want to cheat, so he wouldn't. I don't question that, and I don't believe that's why he stayed away. I think it was because he also knew that this could be viewed oddly by his girlfriend. Now to your first point: was it "ridiculous" what he did to avoid sleeping in that bed? Maybe so. Or at least I might agree with you that if we all take it as a given that we could have trusted him to keep his wick dry, then it was perhaps not strictly necessary. But here's the thing: when we're in relationships, if all we do is the minimum that is strictly necessary, well, that's not a very high standard to shoot for, is it? It's sweet, and kind, and thoughtful, to do something beyond the minimum, and that's what he did here. And in doing so, he didn't just tell his girlfriend something, he showed by his actions that when he had a choice to make, he was thinking of her, and he decided to do more than the minimum to make her more comfortable. It could have been going out of his way to bring her a glass of water while she was working, or any number of other sacrifices - tiny or not-so-tiny - that say: I think about you and you matter to me. And we HOPE that this goes in both directions in their relationship in some kind of a beautiful balance, with both people being willing to contribute more than the minimum, sometimes for no higher purpose than just to demonstrate: I was thinking of you when I made this choice. As long as the relationship in balance, isn't that a pretty high purpose? Maybe it wasn't necessary, and sure, you could argue that it was even a little ridiculous to wander the whole night (and next time, yes, certainly think a bit further ahead about the overnight planning) but in the end I don't think of it along the dimensions of a right or wrong decision, but I do think of it as a good decision. 1
USMCHokie Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 Another question that popped up in the mind...why not just get another room...?
Author AverageCat Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Another question that popped up in the mind...why not just get another room...? We tried 7-8 hotels in the area. Everything booked. :| We missed our bus and therefore had to wait for the morning bus.
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