dolphins1022 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 (edited) SO.. a little back story that MIGHT help.. My boyfriend was born to a coke-addicted mother, was taken out of her care at 15 months, lived in a foster home, before being adopted by his now-parents. Theyre good people and raised him with like structure, morals and love. We met, dated. He was obviously a good guy given his background... honest, no games, cried in front of me a few times...just maybe naive in that he only had a few good guy friends, and I KNOW they were good people. Hes a relationship guy. Our relationship was very passionate, in that we were both quite jealous and obsessive over each other, saw each other every day.. had sex a few times a weekish. He revealed to me that he had never cum with another girl before... ever. Hes only been with 2.5 girls before me, but one was very open sexually and he LIVED with her. So it made me feel special that for whatever reason, he came while having sex with me. It always takes a while, and it has to be like consistently fast, a little rough, but I just assumed that was his style.. He takes a bit longer than most to get hard... but I never let it bother me because, like i said.... it was obvious that he was OBSESSED with me. So I shrugged it off. Then he left for army boot camp, he was already signed up for it. I got through bootcamp, though it was hard... by looking forward to the sweetest most movie-like love letters, and just remembering how much he loved me and what a great 8 months we had before he left. After bootcamp, he said he didnt jerk off AT ALL, so when he saw me, he was like ROCK HARD and wanted to do it immediately. I liked it. Hes never been very ravaging towards me. He is now done with bootcamp, and AIT...and now in the "big army"....he came home for christmas break, and didn't seem to want to have sex. I didn't quite initiate it too often, but I was hoping he would... and he didn't. I visited him for his graduation....(he proposed at the end of this graduation trip) Anyway, rewind...we had a hotel room to ourselves, and he was barely hard for me! I had to work to make it that way... and we were having sex, and it was taking longer than usual, so I asked him if he had jerked off a lot....and he said "Yeah, like 14 times in the past 2 weeks." I was hurt because... um, you KNEW I was spending money to come and see you for the first time in months, you knew that we would have our own hotel room, and you jerked off like a maniac right before hand? Its not like he even NEEDS to do that to ensure he "lasts..." let me remind you, he NEVER cums with girls. I thought it would be special if he was able to with me after a few months of not seeing each other (he has before with me). THEN... he was able to get two weeks off work, so he came home right after graduation. He did not ONCE initiate sex. I asked him why and he said "Im in the army now, I cant just **** you in your parents house anymore ,Im an adult and thats childish stuff." I then asked him if hes jerked off in the 3 days since hes been home seeing me everyday ... and he was honest and said "yeah." I got mad, cause, again, IM HERE. Its not that I want sex that badly, I just want to feel desired and wanted by the one person that I want. Then, two months later, I visit him in Texas. He was more than happy naked-cuddling like we always do. Like honestly like a pig in **** happy and just at ease, I could tell. But DID NOT INITIATE SEX. NOR was he hard one bit.. like, hello... naked girlfriend who you supposedly find hot.. in your bed....and you are like limp as a washcloth I didnt let it bother me, we had oral twice each. The first time I was able to make him cum, but he asked me to do it once we were laying in bed with the lights off... the second time, he was like floppy, I made it hard, but was not able to make him cum An hour before I was supposed to leave this visit to go to the airport to go home, he changed his phone profile to one that would save battery cause it was about to die and we were at a restaurant. All of a sudden, a picture of a porn star appeared as his screen saver. He looked at me with this "oh ****!" look on his face (I flip out about a lot of stuff easily lol) I was like "whos that?" he said "Idk.. some girl.. I dont know her name." Then proceeded to tell me that he and two friends send hot pics of chicks to each other occasionally, like as morning wake up texts. Like "have a great day hope this hottie cheers you up!" He also admitted to going on thechive.com I flipped out, mostly that he would have it as a screen saver and also that he would talk about girls with SINGLE guys.. Granted, he doesnt know the girls, but still. I thought about it and I think the reason Im most upset is because its like... obviously he has a sex drive to be jerking off so often and looking at porn however often he does, YET he doesnt seem to want to have sex with me. DO NOT say he was cheating because I know he isn't. I know that's a viable and possible option, but leave that out when considering please. I'm more concerned with ED or a porn addiction... Ive talked to a lot of other people, and most say a guy would get hard even if hes not attracted to the girl, that kust the possibility of having sex would do it. So, given that I know I have a great body (not trying to toot my own horn) and an average face, it makes me feel repulsive that my own boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me. It makes me feel so jealous that he could look at other girls and beat off, but actually physically being with me somehow now isn't appealing Given what you know about his cocaine-addicted birth.....his difficulty getting hard and actually CUMMING with a girl....do you think he has ED? Am I THAT bad in bed? Is he not attracted to me? Do you think its like a porn addiction that I don't know about? If so, how do I bring it up without offending him and his penis "problems"? Edited June 9, 2013 by dolphins1022
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