mfleck91 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 So I've been on here pretty often lately and will probably continue to frequent the site, so I'd like to tell everyone a bit about myself. I figure if you know more about me it might affect the advice I get. So my name is Maxx, I'm about to be 22 and just graduated from college. I've been working part time since I was 14 and am awaiting results for my application to be a pilot in the Air Force. I would say I'm an average looking guy, you can see in my picture. I've ways been slim and am often self conscious about how skinny I am. I used to frequent video games but haven't really enjoyed them since the breakup. I love being outdoors, camping, boating and enjoying water sports. I didn't start going out to bars and drinking until the breakup but now I get out whenever I can. Since I just graduated I'm now living back at my parents house where I don't really have any friends. I would say my best and really only friend right now is my 19 year old sister. I have one other friend who is a mutual if my ex but he's pretty flaky and is an alcoholic with no ambition. Plus he defends my ex a lot and gives really crappy advice. I played the drums for several years and am starting to get back into it. I think most everyone knows about my breakup, but here's a quick summary. Started going out September 2008, senior year if high school. We fell pretty hard for each other, went college together, and moved in together this last school year. Side note, we never had sex, both virgins. She broke up for first time in January, got back together and left for good end of February. No reason was given and I haven't seen her/heard from her since. She left me for someone else whom she is still with, I made her leave our apartment. I think that brings it all up to date. Thanks everyone for all your advice so far! Feel free to ask me anything if you want to know more.
esteem-jam Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 I was fascinated by fighter jets when I was a kid/teen. You know your mental health can be a deciding factor that you get taken or not. In a negative ourcome- dont blame it on the ex. In a positive outcome- congrats! Although job in a military to me seems too much life-long.
Author mfleck91 Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 I've already gone through the mental screening process and did fine. I'm good at not letting my emotions affect me at work for the most part or at least faking a smile. I forgot I add that I'm about to start seeing a counselor again. Hopefully it brings improvement
LoveB86 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 average looking guy? you look like a cute young fella in your photo!! Unless its my aged eyes, but you shouldn't have a hard time finding someone else. Young, smart and seem like you got your head on right! Kudos to you
Author mfleck91 Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Today was really rough for some reason. I seem to notice all the couples walking by and they all seem so happy. I want that, I used to have that. I almost broke NC it was so bad. I feel like in reverting, it feels like the first week of the breakup all over again.
maturityassets Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I think its understandable that things are a bit difficult. But trust me drowning yourself in friends and others constantly wouldn't help either. For a month and half after my break up all I did was keep myself busy and distracted either with school, friends or partying. Just though I realize I was only numbing the pain. Every attempt to show how fine I was with out her was just a sad way of doing it against her. Now for the last 2 weeks I've been really grieving. I deactivated my Facebook, tired of posting my nights out just to prove to myself I'm fine when I'm not. I sat at home and really grieved the lost and cried and it felt like someone died and Im just accepting they aren't coming back into my life. So I think a good balance is necessary. A good balance between being with others but also being with yourself. To just accept that this person who once represented another part of you is gone and you can't fill that void nor can you expect to skip the sadness. So you have things going for you though and though you feel lonely, you could still be out with friends and still feel alone while being with them.
Author mfleck91 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 I think its understandable that things are a bit difficult. But trust me drowning yourself in friends and others constantly wouldn't help either. For a month and half after my break up all I did was keep myself busy and distracted either with school, friends or partying. Just though I realize I was only numbing the pain. Every attempt to show how fine I was with out her was just a sad way of doing it against her. Now for the last 2 weeks I've been really grieving. I deactivated my Facebook, tired of posting my nights out just to prove to myself I'm fine when I'm not. I sat at home and really grieved the lost and cried and it felt like someone died and Im just accepting they aren't coming back into my life. So I think a good balance is necessary. A good balance between being with others but also being with yourself. To just accept that this person who once represented another part of you is gone and you can't fill that void nor can you expect to skip the sadness. So you have things going for you though and though you feel lonely, you could still be out with friends and still feel alone while being with them. I sadly don't have friends to distract myself. I made the mistake of being too dependent on my ex. I spent all my time with her or her friends. Pair that with the fact that I just moved back home after being at school for 4 years and I've got myself one lonely situation. No pity party intended
maturityassets Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 I sadly don't have friends to distract myself. I made the mistake of being too dependent on my ex. I spent all my time with her or her friends. Pair that with the fact that I just moved back home after being at school for 4 years and I've got myself one lonely situation. No pity party intended I'm sorry if you ever got the wrong impression from me. I wouldn't disrespect you in pitying or feeling sympathy for you. I just wanted to show that as someone who was influenced to take the other route, that I still have deep empathy for what you are going through. I think the best thing to do is really realize this break up is like a death, and that its best to grieve and realize that your goal is not to live for this ghost of a person
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