jason29n Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Okay ill try to make it short. Meet online, she moves from Arizona to live with me after a few trips of us both going back and forth. Things start great but decline. I have this problem everytime they start great then I let things slip. Like the sex had stopped mostly room mates. In my head I know we love each other and ill fix it later. Until they leave. I realize now everything. All I need is the chance to show her. She said she needed space and thought it would make things better. She was gone two days sent me a long email saying how she missed me and songs made her think about me and shes sad. I did everything to get her to stay it was her choice to leave. Now ive been basically no contact cause I want her to miss me even though I'm the reason things failednto begin with. My question is this. Should I keep showing g her I want to make this right? Ive talked about it before but never meant it. Its like I understand everything now. Or do I just let her comeback on her own if she wants to. I dont want her to think I don't care enough to even fight for her but I also cant make someone come back. Thanks. Keep in mind I think she left to strenghten it. Either that or we would find out how we feel. She also left her computer here and has made no attempt to get it and nobody goes anywhere without their computer. Thanks again.
Author jason29n Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Dang nobody? Maybe it just takes sometime. I just want the chance to show her. This wasna big wake up call for me. I don't know its like when I wasn't responding she started sending I miss you texts. I respond with miss you too then nothing. Shes got no family here. A couple friends but she said shes not going back to Arizona. I think she thought time apart would either strengthen us or show her she doesn't love me. Which she does. Its just I let the fire go out. So chase or no contact? Remember the problem was us turning into room mates and mostly my fault. I don't know.
LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Don't chase. Dont beg. Go NC and let her be the first to reach out to you.
aloneinaz Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 What we be different the second time around? You guys got complacent and bored with your relationship. That's a strong sign is wasn't meant to be long term. Not having sex is a BAD sign. You should move on, learn what you can from your mistakes and find someone that will keep you interested long term.
Author jason29n Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Yeah I'm not sure. Its like you get two people, throw in some money problems, it goes downhill. I realize now that its not enough to just have someone love you. This is the second one ive lost same way.
Author jason29n Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Its like I can get them fast. And its perfect. Then I stop trying or caring enough to try. And I'm not sure why cause I love them. I really really love them when they leave lol.
aloneinaz Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 You're only interested cause your mind thinks she's gone and you can't have her anymore. We all want what we can't have. This is why NC works occasionally for some people who do want the person who dumped them back. The dumper might have still been in love w/the person they dumped but felt it wouldn't work long term, etc. Then, the person who was dumped moves on and is now not available to the dumper and they freak out and want them back. The other thing to keep in mind is when people first meet, they are on their best behavior. They hide their "issues" or bad habits. Then time goes by and they get comfortable and let their guard down so the other see's the true "them". In most cases, we didn't fall in love with the "true" person but fell in love with the person on their best behavior. This is when A LOT of relationship start to have big issues that tend to cause lots of arguing and fighting and then the inevitable break up. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 You're only interested cause your mind thinks she's gone and you can't have her anymore. We all want what we can't have. This is why NC works occasionally for some people who do want the person who dumped them back. The dumper might have still been in love w/the person they dumped but felt it wouldn't work long term, etc. Then, the person who was dumped moves on and is now not available to the dumper and they freak out and want them back. The other thing to keep in mind is when people first meet, they are on their best behavior. They hide their "issues" or bad habits. Then time goes by and they get comfortable and let their guard down so the other see's the true "them". In most cases, we didn't fall in love with the "true" person but fell in love with the person on their best behavior. This is when A LOT of relationship start to have big issues that tend to cause lots of arguing and fighting and then the inevitable break up. Yes, the HS is always great. But what happens after that is what is important. And, this is what scares me too. It's easy to really like/love someone when in HS, and for them to feel the same about you. But then, the feelings start to fade for one or both after some time. Here's where the pain comes... HS was great. After that, it was a steady decline into BU...At least that's what happened to me. And now I'm a wreck
Author jason29n Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 Yeah Ive made some serious changes in my life that I knew were problems. Like getting off of suboxone, getting anxiety and heart checked, quit chewing. I did these things well mostly for me. She said shes proud of me. Shes also gotthings here. Should I just keep them or what? Should I tell her I agree on the breakup cause I sort of do now. Or should I just start dating other girls?
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