Dyamond Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 So on april 20th, my friend introduced me to a past high school friend of hers that is interested in me. He is 25 and i'm 22. From there on we went on a couple of dates...great chemistry and connection....after the fifth date he ask me if i am talking to anyone else....and i said no. then he said "He is talking to someone else other than me".... At first it did not bother me much, but now that we are getting close and closer, it does bother me because i feel like i'm developing more feelings for him. So a month later on may 26,, i woman up and told him that i'm not comfortable with the situation,....i told him that i can't be part of this mess or love triangle and so i'm gonna step aside so he can figure things out with the other girl. He talked me out of leaving him and said...im right, I should not have to deal with this but ever since he met me, its been different with her, he does not talk to her much or see her much. He gives me all the attention....he said he feels like he has a better connection with me....he does not want to move too fast into a relationship...so he is taking his time then at the end of the conversation, i said "So how am i to deal with this...what do you expect me to do?" and he said "be patient with me"....... Its 2 weeks later now...and i'm still as confused as ever.....so does this guy take me seriously or am i being too impatient? Please give me your opinions, guys and girls....what is the best way to deal with this? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Ultimatum time. He's had more than enough opportunity to come to a decision. "Okay, you've had your fun. Time to choose, dearest: her - or me....? Because I don't have to share you with anyone. You're not sharing me, are you? I respect you enough to not do that to you. If you want to be a player, then fine. Just don't waste my time." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 5 dates isn't enough for many guys to be exclusive/couple up. If you can be patient, do so. If you can't, walk. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 I usually give things about two months to sort out, max. A couple more weeks is about all I'd give your guy. ... but I also don't give ultimatums. If you want him to be exclusive with you, then say so. If he isn't ready or is still vague, then you have your answer. It is then up to you to decide if you still wish to keep talking to him or not after that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lamaga Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 I would not be comfortable with my guy seeing someone else. I've only been dating him for 6 weeks and already feel such a strong connection, if I would find out he was talking to somebody else I'd feel incredibly foolish... Sounds like your guy doesn't know what he wants. What Tara said!! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 You're only 22 so you're especially easy to manipulate, he'll lie to you and tell you all the BS you want to hear or at least that he thinks you want to hear. "He talked me out of leaving him and said...im right, I should not have to deal with this but ever since he met me, its been different with her, he does not talk to her much or see her much. He gives me all the attention....he said he feels like he has a better connection with me....he does not want to move too fast into a relationship...so he is taking his time" Ha...right, but he's not leaving her now is he? and why not? He'll drag you into this love triangle and since he already let you know from the beginning he can just say he already told you from the start and then make up all kinds of excuses...you being young and naive, thinking you're developing "emotions" you'll be conflicted but stick around the more he digs himself deeper into you...then you'll just be stuck and unable to leave on your own will. So if you want to get out....get out now, if not, you'll reap what you sow, and that's basically means being naive enough to think things would actually go differently than they will. It's a funny thing with a lot of women...they always have to get really hurt before they know when to walk away. Don't for one second think he'll be exclusive with you and just leave her....I mean you don't even know what he has or what history he has with her, that's the funniest part, you're just going completely based off what he's telling you...and you're actually trying to believe, what a joke. Him not "wanting to move fast" is a clear sign that this guy is playing the field and looking to add another player to his roster...but at your age I'm sure curiosity will get the better...It's almost like taking candy from a baby sometimes I tell ya. He's already warmed you up and conditioned you up to this point...now he just needs to lock on you in...classic triangle, this guy has had practice, he's done this before. And you ask if he takes you "seriously" after all this....my god, you're freakin screwed if you're that dense. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Busy, professional men with a lot of options may need a few dates with each women to see which ones he feels "it" with. Since so many attractive women that also have substance are into them, they may need time to see how they feel about women, and to figure out when something special comes along. .....Really though? Is this true? My gut says that even men with A LOT of options know when they feel something special, that makes them NOT want to see other women, and rather; focus on the ONE women? Does anyone else believe in feeling "it" with someone? I sort of believe in "it". Yet I am inexperienced in the dating game as an adult. I have just met guys that feel something about me (when I was taken mind you) where they made it clear they wanted to see ME and only ME because I intrigued them enough. Then I hear that it is normal for guys to see other people, date around, and not just feel "it" early on? Can you please elaborate, those of you that think it takes time for a guy to decide that you're worth all their energy? Let me start by saying: I think, if a guy has the potential to really fall in love with a women, he should just feel "something" from the beginning. If a guy is THAT into a girl, why wouldn't he be compelled to be with only her from the get go? Some of you claim that a lot of guys need a few dates to figure out how they feel. Really though? Is this the case? ................................................................. Personally, I need to get to know a guy before I invest myself heavily. Yet I know early on if I really feel something special, enough to NOT want to date others. Maybe men are different? Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 This topic really confuses me! I always assumed that if a guy is that into you, he will feel something special from the start and not want to date around? Normally I would advice the OP that if he was that into her, he would not talk to other girls. Other than them being his friend, that is. I could be wrong though?! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 This topic really confuses me! I always assumed that if a guy is that into you, he will feel something special from the start and not want to date around? Normally I would advice the OP that if he was that into her, he would not talk to other girls. Other than them being his friend, that is. I could be wrong though?! Exactly how I feel but the other person has to feel something also. Or else they will just continue to date around . Link to post Share on other sites
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