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Asking someone out over the phone (what if I get voicemail)


Casablanca

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Casablanca

I teach and we got a new teacher this past year, she caught my eye, but I had a girlfriend, so never thought much about it. I broke up with my ex back in December. This teacher never came out with us at the end of the week, we'd invite her, but didn't join us, so I rarely talked with her. The last couple weeks she's started to hang out with us though, and it seems like we have similar personalities.

 

Problem, I'll probably never see her in person again, I'm leaving the school to one that is closer to my house. She came out to my end of year cookout last night, but had to leave early before I could even sit, relax and socialize as I was busy cooking and such. I have her number and I figure my window of opportunity is small her, if I call her and get a voicemail, should I just say something like "Hey, call me back when you get a chance" or something like that? I've never called to ask someone out for a first date because in person has always been an option (not including online) so I don't know the least awkward approach for dealing with her not being able to pick up at the time.

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Tough call. In person is always best.

If she doesn't answer, I would hang up and send quick text proposing some kind of meet-up.

Cold-call voicemails asking for a date invariably sound lame unless you are some kind of super slick voice actor/comedian.

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Casablanca
Tough call. In person is always best.

If she doesn't answer, I would hang up and send quick text proposing some kind of meet-up.

Cold-call voicemails asking for a date invariably sound lame unless you are some kind of super slick voice actor/comedian.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to directly ask for a date over voice-mail and there is just no guarantee I'd see her in person again anytime soon

 

Your idea about sending a quick text about a meet up, maybe make it coffee or something doesnt sound like a bad plan B

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Drseussgrrl

I like the phone call.

 

Leave a short, sweet message.

 

Hey this is Casablanca. I am wondering if I can take you out for a drink next week if you're free. Give me a shout when you have a moment.

 

If she's interested, she'll call or text you back.

 

Easy peezy.

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Problem is it is difficult to make a call out of the blue and talk to a machine without saying "umm", "like", "maybe", pausing and so on.

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Casablanca
Problem is it is difficult to make a call out of the blue and talk to a machine without saying "umm", "like", "maybe", pausing and so on.

Actually, that won't be much of a problem for me, I'll have it in the back of my head what I will say if I get voicemail, and as I've been teaching 3 years, I've gotten great at thinking on my feet and talking without umms and likes and awkward pauses

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Casablanca
I like the phone call.

 

Leave a short, sweet message.

 

Hey this is Casablanca. I am wondering if I can take you out for a drink next week if you're free. Give me a shout when you have a moment.

 

If she's interested, she'll call or text you back.

 

Easy peezy.

I like this idea, probably the most likely POA for me

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I like the phone call.

 

Leave a short, sweet message.

 

Hey this is Casablanca. I am wondering if I can take you out for a drink next week if you're free. Give me a shout when you have a moment.

 

If she's interested, she'll call or text you back.

 

Easy peezy.

 

Yea, it's as easy as that. The only thing I'd add is that you think of it as "fire and forget." One call, leave the voicemail, and then forget about it. If she doesn't respond. Don't inquire further; you're done.

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If you can pull off the cold-call voicemail gracefully, that's great. But what was the point of your question then?

 

FWIW, even if you do leave a nice message and she is inclined to say yes, I imagine most women will find it easier to reply by text as opposed to calling you back in this situation.

Edited by drr6
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The more I think about it, the more I prefer that you leave a short message that doesn't ask her out...something like "hey, it's Casanova, we met at X, call me back when you get a chance..."

 

That way he can ask her out properly when she calls back.

 

Eh, either way works.

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Casablanca
If you can pull off the cold-call voicemail gracefully, that's great. But what was the point of your question then?

 

FWIW, even if you do leave a nice message and she is inclined to say yes, I imagine most women will find it easier to reply by text as opposed to calling you back in this situation.

The point was I wasn't sure what to say, I didn't know what approach I should take if she doesn't pick up the phone and I get stuck with a voice mail...wasnt sure if I should just ask to call back, leave no voice mail and call one more time another day, etc

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Casablanca
Yea, it's as easy as that. The only thing I'd add is that you think of it as "fire and forget." One call, leave the voicemail, and then forget about it. If she doesn't respond. Don't inquire further; you're done.

Totally, no way would I inquire further...once I make my play, ball is totally in her court and she knows my intentions.

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The point was I wasn't sure what to say, I didn't know what approach I should take if she doesn't pick up the phone and I get stuck with a voice mail...wasnt sure if I should just ask to call back, leave no voice mail and call one more time another day, etc

 

Hence my original reply.

Hanging up without anything more is not a good move. And then whether you ask for a date or just say hi, she may find calling you back on her own more daunting than replying to your text. And then you are stuck because you don't want to pester her again, even though she may be interested.

 

Side note: I like voice communication, preferably in person. But where I live, phone calls seem to be going the way of the dodo bird.

Edited by drr6
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