aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Just curious on this beautiful Saturday.. So your ex ends an on/off relationship of 14-15 months over a stupid fight. You see her on a dating site a week later, clearly trying to move on. What goes thru her head when she suddenly see's you on a dating site? 1) Oh thank god, he's moving on and won't bother me. 2) Well, that makes me feel less guilty for ending the relationship. 3) What a dick. he clearly didn't care about me since he's already dating. 4) Upset that they now know they are potentailly risking losing him for good? thoughts?
Giha Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 If you are asking because you are hoping for 4 then you should really give it a rest and start moving on... 1
Author aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 If you are asking because you are hoping for 4 then you should really give it a rest and start moving on... Um... yea, that's why i JOINED the dating site to in fact MOVE ON... Just curious as to her perception on the event. I know if I had dumped her (and I almost did a week ago), it would of bothered my ego that she wasn't chasing me and trying to get back together again.
prettycutesoul Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Um... yea, that's why i JOINED the dating site to in fact MOVE ON... Just curious as to her perception on the event. I know if I had dumped her (and I almost did a week ago), it would of bothered my ego that she wasn't chasing me and trying to get back together again. I think first step of actually moving on is trying really hard not to care what her perception on the event is. 1
RangerJeremiah Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Nothing goes through her head about you. She is looking to get filled by some new dick. Get over it. 2
Author aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 ok..ok.. it's well established that I shouldn't give a flying fart about what my now ex thinks one way or the other.. NO need to continue to revisit this. Now the other question remains, does it bother them or not?
Author aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 Is it not a sign to them that "well, he's moving on" versus them thinking we're sitting home crying over them? A kind of FU woman, I can find your replacement as well on top of them hearing a big fat NC from me.
Author aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 Nothing goes through her head about you. She is looking to get filled by some new dick. Get over it. Hopefully not the same dick that was in your mouth last night..
Simon Phoenix Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Is it not a sign to them that "well, he's moving on" versus them thinking we're sitting home crying over them? A kind of FU woman, I can find your replacement as well on top of them hearing a big fat NC from me. You are overthinking this. It depends on the person and quite honestly, she might not care less right now because she's involved with her own stuff. Either way it's a waste of your time to try to figure this out.
prettycutesoul Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 ok..ok.. it's well established that I shouldn't give a flying fart about what my now ex thinks one way or the other.. NO need to continue to revisit this. Now the other question remains, does it bother them or not? Again you shouldn't care one way or the other. My question: Do you really care about the answer whether it bothers them or not, if you do care which is why you're asking.... so what? what're you going to do about it? You WON'T know if it bothers them or not, I mean we can't tell you if it does. Like right now you just want us to tell you YES it bothers her, so you'll go HAHA... but then what? You just got to get over it. Seriously. Don't even bother to care if it bothers her or not. Most likely, it doesn't bother her cause SHE is on the dating site too. So even if she sees you its more of "Oh ok, onto the NEXT" There's honestly nothing good you can hear except move on, ignore what she thinks. She probably isn't thinking anything, you're the one making a big whoop out of it.
Author aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 Again you shouldn't care one way or the other. My question: Do you really care about the answer whether it bothers them or not, if you do care which is why you're asking.... so what? what're you going to do about it? You WON'T know if it bothers them or not, I mean we can't tell you if it does. Like right now you just want us to tell you YES it bothers her, so you'll go HAHA... but then what? You just got to get over it. Seriously. Don't even bother to care if it bothers her or not. Most likely, it doesn't bother her cause SHE is on the dating site too. So even if she sees you its more of "Oh ok, onto the NEXT" There's honestly nothing good you can hear except move on, ignore what she thinks. She probably isn't thinking anything, you're the one making a big whoop out of it. Sheesh... tough crowd today! I get what MOST of you are saying. Just remember that its a still fresh break up and I'm being a bit vindictive and childish. It hurt me to see her on there and NATURALLY, I'd only hope that it stung her as well.
prettycutesoul Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Sheesh... tough crowd today! I get what MOST of you are saying. Just remember that its a still fresh break up and I'm being a bit vindictive and childish. It hurt me to see her on there and NATURALLY, I'd only hope that it stung her as well. Lolll it's only a tough crowd cause we know you're still harboring it. How long was the breakup? how fresh is it. And I understand you wanna be vindictive but you honestly wont know if it bothers you or not unless you downright ask her.
Author aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 Lolll it's only a tough crowd cause we know you're still harboring it. How long was the breakup? how fresh is it. And I understand you wanna be vindictive but you honestly wont know if it bothers you or not unless you downright ask her. About a week old. This is the 3rd time this year. After the last one, I wouldn't agree to reconciliation unless she had some therapy to address her issues that caused 90% of our problems. She agreed but in my opinion, didn't do the work to make the changes she needs to not only for me but for EVERYONE else that is around her. We dated 14-15 months and truly were in love. I think ultimately she's not willing to make the changes that she knows are deal breakers for me and ended it after I told her I didn't like the way she talked to me and others when she was in a bad mood, tired or stressed. She needs to find another push over like her ex-husband who she can boss, talk out her ass to, be moodier than ****, etc.. You know, she was the whole package. 1
BC1980 Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 You are overthinking this. It depends on the person and quite honestly, she might not care less right now because she's involved with her own stuff. Either way it's a waste of your time to try to figure this out. I agree. It's an utter waste of time trying to analyze what someone else thinks. The truth: it's different for everyone. There is no one answer. But yet. . . . it's still a waste of time.
Author aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 Who cares what she thinks! You're focusing on you, remember? :-) I know, I know.... SHEESH.. Just wanted one person to THROW ME A BONE HERE and say, yea, that might just make her feel a pinch and hurt her a bit! Compassion people.. LOL!
Author aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 No. That's doing you a disservice. That's prolonging inappropriate feelings towards your ex. We do not want her to feel bad, or good, we want to feel NOTHING. We do not care how she feels. She is dead to us. Believe it or not, this is compassion. Tough love. Ok? So.. I'm not going to get a hug either? Come on MC, "help me to help you"! On a serious note, I understand what most are saying. I'm in withdrawal from her. It's only been 8 days though our on/off relationship the past 3 months, along with myself knowing I couldn't take her moods, temper, etc.. much longer is making the split easier. How ironic that we broke up when I told her I could not handle the way she kept snapping and being short with me. I know time will make the split easier and like someone said on another thread-- "She's someone elses problem now"..
BC1980 Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Yes, we could throw you a bone as you put it. But the relationship is still over. Does it really make you feel better? Probably not. 1
Author aloneinaz Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Yes, we could throw you a bone as you put it. But the relationship is still over. Does it really make you feel better? Probably not. It's been over multiple times in the past too, hence the off/on. Maybe we're the Richard Burton/Elizabeth Taylor of our times!! HAHAHAHA But on a serious note, it really should be over and we both should move on to more compatible partners.
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