elle2012 Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 My ex and I broke up after a 3 month relationship. Its been a month since I have seen or talked to him. He texted me and we had a brief conversation than he ignored my last text, so I decided to end all contact once and for all. This weekend I am going to go to where he works and I am sure I am going to run in to him. I am not sure what place we are now, how should I approach him if I see him? (Help, I don't want to be rude and avoid him. It wasn't an easy break up but I am okay.)
fiftyofsomethin Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Why are you going where he works in the first place? If you can help it, STEER CLEAR! You will gain nothing by worrying about how you interact with him. Don't rehearse situations and conversations in your head. Just forget about him and if you see him, act accordingly in the moment. The only way I have found that actually works for getting over an ex is to just BELIEVE that, as hard as it sounds, your ex was not your only chance at happiness. You have an abundance of other opportunities. Once you realize this, it helps ease them out of your mind, and when they are out of your mind, you stop worrying, and when you stop worrying, situations like this don't become problems. All of this is just in your head. If you see him, treat him like just another acquaintance. You know that saying "it's only awkward if you make it so"? Well that is 100% true. 2
Giha Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Don't walk up to him if you see him..."Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave"
zoobadger Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 What do you want from him? Do you want him back? Do you want to stay broken up? Are you on the fence? Once you pick one of those the answer will be easier. It sounds like you don't really know which direction you want to go in. But, ordinary politeness is always the best policy. Just say hi and don't be overly friendly or needlessly cold.
SuperGeek Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 (edited) Going to where your ex works is a bit weird to be honest. Doing the same thing as a male in today's society could be considered stalking or creepy and most of the time would lead to BAD DRAMA, such as a restraining order or being arrested. Gotta love the double standards these days. Of course you're a girl, so the same rules guys have to adhere to in this manner don't apply to you. I suppose it's perfectly okay for women to show up to an ex-boyfriend's job unannounced and it will be just FINE. Sigh. If you want your ex back (provided that you are the dumper), just call him up and ask him out for a drink. Instead of being all sneaky about it, just be truthful and tell him what you want and see where you stand. You'll probably get a pretty good feeling either way and you won't have to act like a covert secret agent showing up at his job LOL. Do you really think he's going to believe you just 'bumped into him' magically where he works? If he dumped you, then just move on. Edited June 9, 2013 by SuperGeek 1
fiftyofsomethin Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Going to where your ex works is a bit weird to be honest. Doing the same thing as a male in today's society could be considered stalking or creepy and most of the time would lead to BAD DRAMA, such as a restraining order or being arrested. Gotta love the double standards these days. Of course you're a girl, so the same rules guys have to adhere to in this manner don't apply to you. I suppose it's perfectly okay for women to show up to an ex-boyfriend's job unannounced and it will be just FINE. Sigh. If you want your ex back (provided that you are the dumper), just call him up and ask him out for a drink. Instead of being all sneaky about it, just be truthful and tell him what you want and see where you stand. You'll probably get a pretty good feeling either way and you won't have to act like a covert secret agent showing up at his job LOL. If he dumped you, then just move on. I mean, if she WANTS to be back together, I guess she could go for it. However, just know, OP, that if you broke up once, there was a good reason for it. If you DO get back together, be prepared to go through more of the same. Especially after a rather short time being apart. Sometimes it's just best to let it go. Actually, that's pretty much the best thing to do in every situation.
SuperGeek Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 (edited) Agreed, but showing up to an ex's job? That just sounds like a bad idea and really just being dishonest about it. It's really a lie too if you think about it. If the ex asks WHY she's in the area of his job, what possible response can she give without lying? Trying to acquire an ex-boyfriend back by lying just doesn't seem to be the best foundation to start with LOL. If she is the dumper (which is likely the case), she is going to have to be sincere with him and find a way to earn his trust again. There are no shortcuts here. She needs to just be honest with the guy and put her cards on the table and see what happens. That's the most honest approach in my opinion. I mean, if she WANTS to be back together, I guess she could go for it. TOTALLY AGREE! It's like an old tax return. They are best left in the past. Sometimes it's just best to let it go. Actually, that's pretty much the best thing to do in every situation. Edited June 9, 2013 by SuperGeek
Justletgo Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Please don't go to where your ex is. Because it might seem like a nice and hopeful idea right now. But afterwards you will be feeling rejected all over again. I know because I have done it myself a lot. They just don't care anymore. Even if you do. Get your confidence back, become successful and just get another partner.
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