amkxoxo Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Some background...I'm a 21 year old who has dated men but never been in a serious relationship. I want one but feel I have not found the right guy to have one with. Don't get me wrong I have been with some really nice men, but sometimes they are just too nice. I seem to attract the super nice guys who fall in love with me off the bat and want to give me the world. I know sounds great, but I never seem to truly like these guys because they lack truth and I actually like a guy who takes time to know me and see me for who I really am. A lot of times these guys don't know me very long and are already telling me that I'm perfect, and good at this and that, when they haven't actually experienced any of what I have to offer. I have dumped multiple suitors over this. I recently started dating someone (its been 3 months) who I really like. He is smart, attractive, talented, and more...I really want to make it work with him and want to impress him, but find myself getting insecure. I am so comfortable in myself at the beginning, but then slowly turn into that person that I hate dating. They like me at the beginning but I end up losing myself in the relationship. I dote on them, compliment them like crazy, and am too nice. I feel like our conversations have gone sour because I can't relax and just be myself anymore. I'm trying to be what I think he wants, and am afraid of judgement.When we talk on the phone I'm not the fun loving girl he likes, I'm bland. I ask "how's classes" or "what did you do today" Blahhhh! He fell for me for a reason, but this guy doesn't seem to like the over niceness because to be honest its boring. I'm becoming boring. I have started to like some things he does, but I feel like thats normal when seeing someone. I have been more open to trying new things with him too. What should I do?? How do I fix myself?
todreaminblue Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 (edited) i think fi you try and keep your sense of self....what you like to do what you believe in where you want to go...dont let go of who you are but let what you offer be part of the relationship, add to the relationship talk about your interests......your dreams if the guy truly cares about you whe will want you regardless of whether you differ in hobbies and interests... as i said sharing and adding yours can be experiences never had before by either partner.,...i had an ex who didnt like poetry in particular....but everythign i wrote for him he loved..he still asks me to send him poetry i hav ewritten we split a logn time ago...he hated floweryness....but would always send me flowers because i love them.....he could be unforgiving and distrustful where i welcomed people and trusted others he was a line in the sand for me.... .....opposites attract but also....add to anothers life in a good way..dotn try and be the same...it wotn work if you change who you are.....being different opens you up to more than just possibility....it enhances a relationship to have different interests and ways to deal with things....it introduces variety and interesting conversations and yeah some fun........its good to have common ground....but its good to go on holiday occasionally.....and pursue your own hobbies if the partner doesnt like them...smilin atcha......i wish you the best .......deb Edited June 8, 2013 by todreaminblue my spelling and typing suuuuck
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