Kaiten Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 When I broke up with my ex (I got dumped) I wanted to fix things. I wanted to try to see if we could still be together. She hated me. And I decided to play the get your ex back game. The truth is, its not really a game at all. There are things you can do wrong, but as far as getting back with them, they have to already want to just a little bit somewhere in their heart and mind. My ex didnt. So in playing the game I stuck around our church being sure to smile whenever she was around and played it cool like i was enjoying life. To hell with that. That is called ACTING. And if you do that then really your ex is the one in control of you. I couldnt see that at the time. Now here is the thing! When I broke up with my ex, I was trying to get her back by impressing her and being desirable. Well I wasnt fighting fair. The odds were tipped too far in her favor. My mentor suggested that i dont let her win and leave church, but something wasnt right. I had a severe disadvantage. Let me show you what I mean. 1) Her entire family plays/sings on the worship team at church (including her). Even her extended family. If you dont go to church, that means they play the music, which is pretty important in a medium sized church (1000 members.) 2) Her family was born here in the state we live in. Theyve been here for years and their family is somewhat sought-after to play music and sing at local church events. Weddings and such. Their family spends time together all the time. 3) All the parents at church support their children, no matter how old they get, and are always reminding them of how proud of them they are. I dont really even have parents. So i never hear those nice things at church. Everything in church, her family is a part of it. She felt so much more important than me while i was there. Everyone loves her and her family. I dont even have a family. And while i am certainly gifted, I dont have any "church gifts". As in singing or playing an instrument. The funny thing is, I love dancing, but its breakdancing that i love. And old people dont like that. So my style doesnt count. I made the decision to leave church. To begin to work on myself and discover just how important and irreplaceable I was. To discover how awesome I am. And you should do the same. I dont know what your situation looks like, but if you are in a place where your ex has too great an advantage, retreat (for now) and regroup. Play on a level playing field. Now I go back to church. I am not armed with a musical instrument, no. I didnt take singing classes either. And I still dont have a family there. Nope... I am equipped with an astounding sense of purpose and vision for my life. i have an incredible sense of individuality. I am proud of who i am and who i have become. My gifts dont apply in church (churches are more close-minded than they like to admit) but dammit Im gifted! You are too! If your situation is anything like mine, pull back and arm yourself with the greatest weapon you can get your hands on...YOURSELF!!!
Author Kaiten Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 WOW that kinda boggles my mind how exactly alike our situations are. It is funny how i thought that I was the only one this happened to. I said the same things you said. I got thrown out like garbage. i didnt understand at the time but this is just how families work. I dont think that it should be like that but i do get how the game is played. If the girl loves, you they love you. If she hates you, they are like "screw him" 1
Author Kaiten Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 I totally understand. When my ex and I dated, her mom started to call me her "son-in-law" basically. And I did feel welcomed into their family. When we broke up. I kept contact with her mother and that probably turned my ex off quite a bit. I didnt have a family of my own so I felt really alone during the breakup and I guess I wasnt willing to accept the fact that I was dealing with my ex's family, not my own.
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