violetsareviolet Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 (edited) evening all new to the forums, just wanted to see what ya'll thought about cheating during a self-induced opt-out phase. the past 6 months have been a huge transformational period for me: - ticked 30 years old - after being out of college for 11 years, finally graduated in december from design school - getting my new company off the ground - 110% focused on transforming myself into the best person I can be I decided to opt out of dating completely after truly tiring of the whole dating scene earlier in the year, and it's been one of the best decisions I've made... the last few relationships started fine, but turned out to be oh so toxic that I became severely disillusioned with how women act in this country and honestly don't want to deal with it anymore. I'm planning to move out of the country towards the end of the year so you won't hear any other complaints from me I really, really enjoy only answering to myself right now...it's so refreshing not having to bend and twist my life to try and fit the 'american dating scene' and make it all seem nice and comfortable when it's not. with that said, I've become really friendly with 2 very attractive and seemingly down to earth ladies who work at local restaurants where my mom lives. right now I live about 100 miles away, but I come up every 2-3 weeks because my mom needs help at the house on occasion. anyhoo, me and the ladies obviously know each others' names and keep abreast of what's headlining in each others' lives, jokes and flirty smiles when I come in...that fun stuff. I know it's their job to be nice, but I think if I asked there would be a high chance one of them would say yes to going out. (they work at different restaurants) I wouldnt mind asking, just to see (they might have boyfriends already, who knows, I don't ask that question until I actually ask them out) because it would be fun to hang out with them and see if they are as genuine as they front to be...but the other half of me wants to just keep to myself and keep my focus strong. I could honestly take it or leave it...but part of me is just slightly intrigued as to "what if..." but dating in general is just so damn stupid to me presently. I haven't really heard of any women joining the 'opt-out' camp (they always seem to be dating someone), where I sit right now... so meeting someone with my similar mindset would just super awesome, but near impossible. chime in if you have any insights or want to make fun of me Edited June 8, 2013 by violetsareviolet
ascendotum Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 I can understand your current frame of mind at the moment. At the same time, having your current mindset also means you can have a 'take it leave or it' attitude when it comes to dating on your terms (unless you get pussy struck easy). You are not desperate for a relationship and that often changes the dynamic when it comes to how the woman will treat you. With this mindset you will be less likely to 'bend and twist your life' to try to please the woman. The two other factors in this, which makes me say, go for it.. * you say they seem DTE and genuine. * you control how far things go. you plan of going overseas at the end of the year, so you already have your exit and so it wont get to the stage were she moves in and things change. Its also possible you might find one of these girls turns out to be really sweet & loving and it might make it really hard to keep to your O/S career focus. That would be ironic, something great comes a long when you dont give a ****. 1
Author violetsareviolet Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 some good insights there my friend, thanks for the encouraging words on the flip side, it's situations like these that test one's mettle to how dedicated they are to their own resolves in life. we only live once though...aye carumba.
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