JuneJulySeptember Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 There is actually a guy that I'm interested in at work haha but I have no intention of letting him know it..hehe Anyways, I'm gonna text him later today I think and tell him what I was gonna say just to make my intentions clear. So should I even go to the movie with him or just flat out say I changed my mind? What reason could I give for changing my mind? I was gonna say something about my intentions, and then be like "I realized seeing a movie before my shift is just gonna make me sleepy so.." but that only opens it up to be rescheduled, which I don't really want because that might lead him on too. Just a note. There's tons of threads on here created by women about how to reject men they have no attraction to. They pop up all the time. The women here seem to have fun with them. Sometimes a thread like this gets like 111 posts. Not saying you are doing that, but ... Rejection is NOT fun for the person getting rejected. Just tell him that you have no interest, be straight and to the point and be done with it. Same for StanMusial.
truth_seeker Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 1) Would it be safe to assume he is interested in me, especially after wanting to know if I was single? 2) I want to be friends with him and possibly hang out with him Sunday, but I want him to know up front that I only want to be friends...how can I tell him that without sounding pretentious and rude? Should I even tell him up front or wait to see if he makes a move and then tell him? The problem with that is that I don't want to even give him the chance to make a move and make me feel extremely awkward haha. 1) Yes. 2) Tell him you just got out relationship. Bring it up casually. For example: You: "I don't want to see that movie." Him: "Why?" You: "I just had a bad break up and my ex wanted to see that movie." If he makes a move after you bring this up, then you tell him you're not ready to be involved with anyone.
truth_seeker Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Everyone here seems to be under the assumption he's DEFINITELY into her on a romantic level. Until he comes out and asks you out like a DATE date, then I would just hang out if you want to be his friend. I went through the same thing with a male coworker of mine. We became friends, we did lunch on occasion, and after a little bit of this he DID come out and try to ask me out on a date. I wasn't interested in him at all, so I told him the truth. And what I did say is on that list on page one of "bad" things to say, and I'm not sure why. Because when I said this to him, I was completely honest and it was true. I told him that I wasn't ready to be in a relationship because of what my ex had put me through, I said I wasn't looking for anything because I was loving the single life, and that I didn't want to cross any boundaries, I wanted to keep work strictly professional. And that was that. We're still friends now, and he never asked me out again. This only works if you never date anyone from work. If you start dating someone from work, then you come off as a fool for lying to him.
Author nevernotanxious Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Anyone? Surely someone could chime in with some advice... don't make me open a new thread! OP, how about if the shoe was on the other foot? How would you take a rejection from a coworker? Well I'd be a little disappointed, and I'd feel extremely awkward around that person probably, but I'm an adult so I'd suck it up and get over it eventually haha.
Author nevernotanxious Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Just a note. There's tons of threads on here created by women about how to reject men they have no attraction to. They pop up all the time. The women here seem to have fun with them. Sometimes a thread like this gets like 111 posts. Not saying you are doing that, but ... Rejection is NOT fun for the person getting rejected. Just tell him that you have no interest, be straight and to the point and be done with it. Same for StanMusial. Haha no i'm definitely not doing that. I am just really trying to get opinions from as many people as possible. Like I said, I'm not used to/good at these kinds of situations, so I like to hear advice from people who are.
Author nevernotanxious Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Here's an update if anyone cares: I worked with him today and managed to get out of seeing a movie with him tomorrow. He said he comes in at 1:30 (i thought he had to come in at 4, like I do) so I told him I didn't want to come see a movie that early. Whew. We worked together like all day and he asked me a ton of questions about my life/interests/etc. I wanted so badly to tell him I wasnt interested in him as more than friends but i had to work with him the rest of the night, and tomorrow, so i didn't want to say anything. Then as I was leaving he said to text him if i wanted to plan something for next weekend (there was another coworker with us so again i couldn't say anything right there) and then as i was walking to the break room to clock out i could hear him behind me telling another coworker about what i had said about my interests and my schooling and stuff. He must not have realized I was walking ahead of him..I've basically decided to not say anything yet until he either says something about having an interest in me to my face or starts trying to plan another movie outing..which will probably be next week. I hate this!! Plus he says he's dying and has 3 years to live because his lungs are deteriorating..don't know if that's true or not...
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Any females have advice on how a man should reject a female coworker? It's easy. Females will rarely ask a guy out directly. So I usually just ignore it and act like I don't see what's happening.
StanMusial Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 It's easy. Females will rarely ask a guy out directly. So I usually just ignore it and act like I don't see what's happening. I hear what you're saying but sometimes they can put you on the spot. Men more or less learn to take rejection and move on whereas women can be more emotional and less stable. Gotta keep an eye on it.
FitChick Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 A good impersonal rejection is "No thanks. I spend more time with coworkers than I do with my friends and family. I need to keep my free time available." That way you are putting them firmly in the coworker camp and not the friend camp.
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