Hopeful30 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I was wondering how many guys did you date before you found the one you want to settle down with? And if you still haven't found that guy, which boyfriend are you on? (Not # of sex partners but actual boyfriends) I know some friends who had only 2 or 3 relationships before finding the right guy and settling down, and others who have been in at least 7 or 8 relationships and still can't find the right man. How many has it been for you? And if you still haven't found the right one, which number are you on? I want to know if it's really about 'putting yourself out there' or if it's just luck. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I was wondering how many guys did you date before you found the one you want to settle down with? And if you still haven't found that guy, which boyfriend are you on? (Not # of sex partners but actual boyfriends) I know some friends who had only 2 or 3 relationships before finding the right guy and settling down, and others who have been in at least 7 or 8 relationships and still can't find the right man. How many has it been for you? And if you still haven't found the right one, which number are you on? I want to know if it's really about 'putting yourself out there' or if it's just luck. i have had two long term relationships....ending with engagements to both......that takes me right back to my teens from back there i had a few monogamous relationships ......i dont think its a number game finding the right person for anyone......i think it is a fact of everything being right at the right time...right guy.....right life path...I dont know if putting yourself out there is good......because you can become....disillusioned....i think cautiousness......actually being patient helps more than going from one to the next and being really out there can be confusing..deb Link to post Share on other sites
youngnlove89 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I was wondering how many guys did you date before you found the one you want to settle down with? And if you still haven't found that guy, which boyfriend are you on? (Not # of sex partners but actual boyfriends) I know some friends who had only 2 or 3 relationships before finding the right guy and settling down, and others who have been in at least 7 or 8 relationships and still can't find the right man. How many has it been for you? And if you still haven't found the right one, which number are you on? I want to know if it's really about 'putting yourself out there' or if it's just luck. Oh man, I don't know how many I've dated. I've dated a ton, several short lived flings, a month, two months, three months. But relationships...hmmm, maybe my current boyfriend is my 3rd serious relationship. If even, looking back now my other 2 relationships weren't as serious as this one. There‘s times we feel something strong and we call it love. Not because it truly is, or because we‘re lying but because, we haven‘t felt anything stronger yet. So at the moment, it‘s the closest to love we‘ve ever been, so we call it that. Kind of like, someone who has never seen the ocean, or a lake, or a river, might call a great lake the ocean cause they’ve never seen anything bigger and you won’t be able to convince them otherwise. Until they saw the ocean. Maybe you can explain it. You can try to make them visualize it but they can’t see pass the size of that lake. Just like you can try to explain love to someone deep in something close to it, or that feels close to it. That lake, is the ocean until they see the sea. That lust is love, until they fall. So who knows what is in store for all of us? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I've had 5 long term relationships. All lasting over a year. If the current guy I'm talking to works out, he'll be 6. Still haven't found "the one!" Link to post Share on other sites
lamaga Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I dated a lot. I think at some point I lost counting. However, I have 'only' been in 5 meaningful (to me) relationships in the past 10 years, spanning from 10 months to 3,5 years. 3 of my 5 exboyfriends (except for one who is undateable and also the last one, who still has a thing for me) have currently girlfriends, one lives with his girlfriend even. I sometimes am scared that I won't find the right guy but then again I am only 26.... and currently happily dating, hoping to stumble across Mr. Right... I am just trying to not put any pressure on 'the search' and have 'the search' more be kind of 'a find', and live it day by day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I've dated 5 guys, started relationships with 3, none of which lasted longer than 6 months. Single but not really looking right now. Gets me down when I start thinking about the fact that I'm always alone... better to just focus on living my life 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shexy Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Well, lets see - 6 or 7 high school boyfriends In adulthood, probably 3-4 boyfriends, then I met my ex-husband. Married him, divorced him. 2 boyfriends after the divorce. I'm 42 and still haven't found that one perfect magical wonderful perfect ONE man for me. And, I feel sure I probably never will! Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I think women who date A LOT and have had A LOT of relationships and still can't find the "one" ... it's like there's this invisible red mark on you. I'm not trying to insult any woman here, but it will probably come off as such, it's just that guys are simple: is she marriage material or fun material? Women who have dated a lot or have been in lots of relationships tend to never find the "one"... I think men see these women as not marriage material. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Well, lets see - 6 or 7 high school boyfriends In adulthood, probably 3-4 boyfriends, then I met my ex-husband. Married him, divorced him. 2 boyfriends after the divorce. I'm 42 and still haven't found that one perfect magical wonderful perfect ONE man for me. And, I feel sure I probably never will! Don't be that sure. Work on your optimism and confidence. Nothing is forever anymore. I've had ONE boyfriend, who I married at age 23 and dated him 5 years prior. Total relationship+marriage, 21 years. I consider it a success, well, married too young, immigration, stuff, but big love and great sex till the end Totally worth it. No second boyfriend just yet for me, but stay tuned, I think it'll happen sooner or later. If it happened for SD, why not for me huh? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
c57dood Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 People still believe in "the one"? Hahaha that's a good one. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Actual boyfriends? Or guys I've slept with? Boyfriend - My age Carl - 16 to 17 Bob - 17 to 19 Blake - 20 to 25 (married and divorced) Mike - 26 to 29 Shawn - 29 to 41 Kevin - 42 to 45 Andy - 48 and engaged to be married That puts me at SEVEN actual relationships - with a lot of FWB in between. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shexy Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I think women who date A LOT and have had A LOT of relationships and still can't find the "one" ... it's like there's this invisible red mark on you. I'm not trying to insult any woman here, but it will probably come off as such, it's just that guys are simple: is she marriage material or fun material? Women who have dated a lot or have been in lots of relationships tend to never find the "one"... I think men see these women as not marriage material. Aw, was this aimed directly at me? Well, I have no desire to get married again, I will say that, so I don't give a ratsasss if I'm deemed marriage material or not. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I know some friends who had only 2 or 3 relationships before finding the right guy and settling down, and others who have been in at least 7 or 8 relationships and still can't find the right man. Problem with that is there is no 'right guy' just more of a 'right mindset' and 'right time'. Those women who just can't seem to find a guy, or can't make a relationship work, don't have the right mindset or simply aren't ready to settle down with one guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shexy Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 People still believe in "the one"? Hahaha that's a good one. I dont' believe in the "one" either, I was being a total and complete smartasss, but sarcasm doens't translate into type very well Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I've dated 5 guys, started relationships with 3, none of which lasted longer than 6 months. Single but not really looking right now. Gets me down when I start thinking about the fact that I'm always alone... better to just focus on living my life Sounds about par for the course (I'm guessing you are what, 20-22?). All the single girls always think that they're the only ones 'alone', all the single guys think that it's only them not getting laid, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shexy Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Don't be that sure. Work on your optimism and confidence. Nothing is forever anymore. I've had ONE boyfriend, who I married at age 23 and dated him 5 years prior. Total relationship+marriage, 21 years. I consider it a success, well, married too young, immigration, stuff, but big love and great sex till the end Totally worth it. No second boyfriend just yet for me, but stay tuned, I think it'll happen sooner or later. If it happened for SD, why not for me huh? You're right on...my optimism and confidence are TOTALLY in the pooper right now :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Right one for what? Oh wait, settling is not something I plan on doing. I have met several guys I could settle with, but it's not my thing. I'm just trying to enjoy my life and any guys (or girls) who happen to wander through it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aussietigerwolf Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 way too many lol but maybe this one... Link to post Share on other sites
apple OR orange Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 statistics say 9.6 (i think) Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 (edited) Sounds about par for the course (I'm guessing you are what, 20-22?). All the single girls always think that they're the only ones 'alone', all the single guys think that it's only them not getting laid, etc. nahhh lol, I'm older than that, but it's lovely to see someone finally guessing in the younger direction. I nevvvvvver get carded when buying alcohol and it makes me feel OLD!!! haha! and I certainly know I'm not the only one... in fact, only earlier today I was posting in a thread explaining to a member that he's very much so not alone in his situation and that a lot of people are in the same shoes as him. Knowing that there's plenty more "alone" people out there doesn't make being alone any more fun though.. Edited June 8, 2013 by Phoe Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 (edited) I was wondering how many guys did you date before you found the one you want to settle down with? And if you still haven't found that guy, which boyfriend are you on? (Not # of sex partners but actual boyfriends) I know some friends who had only 2 or 3 relationships before finding the right guy and settling down, and others who have been in at least 7 or 8 relationships and still can't find the right man. How many has it been for you? And if you still haven't found the right one, which number are you on? I want to know if it's really about 'putting yourself out there' or if it's just luck. Well considering many if not most men aren't looking for a relationship or something long-term and just interested in sexing you up (many will lie to you about looking for a relationship btw), that will very likely lower the chances of you having to waste your time in an actual "relationship". So that's kind of the good news in a way : / So on the better side of the spectrum...2 to 4 relationships, on the other worse side 6-8 and above. For the greater part of your experiences could simply be a series of "dating" which is casual sex/no commitment for men basically or a FWB which is almost the same thing except you're both on the same page to a degree and know the dealio, however both in which you may naively think it is going to go somewhere, some day..movie magic and all that jazz, so you may waste your time there for a while with a few guys like that at the least...possibly even the majority of the men you'll be with. It really just depends on your qualities and whether they appeal to the right men who are actually looking to settle down. And they have to appeal to you as well, which is the main problem for many women as they tend to find the "other men" most appealing...the many who do not want to commit....at least not just to "settle down", they might be waiting until they're old men to do that. Edited June 8, 2013 by Ninjainpajamas Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I have dated a 100 men in the last few years, only had one a year long committed R come out of that and still no closer to finding the right one Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I've had 4 serious relationships. In my mind, two of them were, at the time when we were in love, the "right one" for me. The fact that things didn't work out in no way diminishes the significance of what we had. I'm currently single and it looks like the desert out there, so I'm glad that at least I know what it feels like to be in love. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Unless you're very, very lucky, it takes several relationships to find the right one. I've had 5 serious relationships and didn't meet the right one until I was 33: 1. high school bf (almost 5 years. We planned to get married, but then he started cheating. It was devastating at the time.) 2. long distance relationship (1 year. Not sure this was even a relationship. We saw each other rarely and we never had sex.) 3. guy I lived with and almost married (4 years) 4. horrible emotionally abusive relationship (off and on for about 5 years) 5. my amazing current bf who I plan to be with forever (5 months) I clearly stay way too long in relationships that aren't right for me, but I've always found it hard to meet people to date, so I figured someone was better than no one. Boy, was I wrong! Link to post Share on other sites
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