Dubiouis Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Well my best friend Erica was known for having the upper-hand in a former relationship. According to her, they would have sex only when she wanted it, she never approved his cousin nor his male friends and basically she would win all the arguments. I recalled seeing her once shoving him and screaming like a mad woman. I still think that's wrong but when I told her how it's not right, she told me ''Come on, he's a man. It's not like I hurt his feeling or he getting emotional. I do what I want in the relationship. That's how it should be''. In the end, the guy left her. I've heard from others that brieftly after the break-up, he was seen on a club crying on 2 different occasions. The reason I'm wondering is because men are usually known for showing anger and frustration when they're dating a girl like my friend. But haven't heard of one being in tears. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dubiouis Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 It's been about 4 months since their break-up and I heard he's still single. It's like the guy is taking his time. I always that overall men are beings that recover very fast and hardly ever cry except on funerals. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Sounds like Erica found herself a guy who was mentally/emotionally f*cked up, and made a point of f*cking him up even more. Great choice in best friends. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dubiouis Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 Sounds like Erica found herself a guy who was mentally/emotionally f*cked up, and made a point of f*cking him up even more. Great choice in best friends.This. I think the guy already had low self-esteem and she made it worst for him. But I don't agree with what she did. Just that I've never heard of a guy crying about that. Usually it's more common for a woman who has been treated badly to be crying but not a man. Link to post Share on other sites
drr6 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 (edited) All men are capable of crying. Emotionally and physically abusing someone under your control will make crying more likely. More importantly, Erica is a terrible, selfish bitch. All the more so because she is oblivious to her faults and feels entitled to act like this. Edited June 7, 2013 by drr6 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Right, crying isn't even the issue here. The issue is that this shmuck's boundaries were so poor that he permitted your bitch friend to treat him like that in the first place. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
jf2good Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Men do cry, the shortest sentence in the bible is that Jesus wept. You can't help who you love, but this women is BAD BAD news, she probably had an over controlling father and has an anger at men problem I am guess as you don't treat anyone like she did. Tell him to go to Shrink for Men website it is "for men who are recovering from relationships with abusive women and the non-abusive family and friends who love them" Link to post Share on other sites
drr6 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Right, but there is an idiotic presumption that abuse can only happen to women. Even the OP, who seems to be a decent person, is surprised to consider that the guy here is no different in his reactions than a badly treated woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 What a selfish c*nt Link to post Share on other sites
drr6 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Don't blame her, it's omnipresent throughout society. Picture related. Agree completely. What a horrendous poster in that pic. And all too typical. I despise the ideology that women, and only women, are forever helpless victims. To depict them as exclusively and perpetually weak and oppressed is the most misogynistic viewpoint of all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dubiouis Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 All men are capable of crying. Emotionally and physically abusing someone under your control will make crying more likely.I hope the guy gets over it soon and finds a decent girl. There are more good girls than bad ones. More importantly, Erica is a terrible, selfish bitch. All the more so because she is oblivious to her faults and feels entitled to act like this.Yes, she does seems mean in the relationship. At the same time, it's like she doesn't date any men. She has rejected many she didn't like. Though, I have to say she acts different with me, her other friends and the family. She is nice to all of us. Well, I would have stopped her right away if she started giving me BS. Another time I asked her ''What if you were dating a total jerk who insulted you and treated you poorly'' and she responded with an ''I would never date a jerk nor allow him to control me. I'm the alpha here, not him''. In that way she seems messed up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dubiouis Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 she probably had an over controlling father and has an anger at men problem I am guess as you don't treat anyone like she did.Yes, her father was abusive towards both her mother and her. Usually abused girls grow up to following their mother's doorsteps and are stuck in abusive relationships when they grow-up. In my friend's case she hates her father completely and has resentment for the mother for allowing it to continue happening and not doing anything. Tell him to go to Shrink for Men website it is "for men who are recovering from relationships with abusive women and the non-abusive family and friends who love them"Thanks. I will tell his friends about it. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I think you're pretty messed up yourself if you think she's a friend just because she treats you ok. She has no idea of boundaries, respect, decent behaviour, kindness, consideration... That doesn't make her an 'Alpha'. That makes her a heartless, callous, dysfunctional narcissistic sociopath without an ounce of empathy for anyone. Alphas do NOT behave that way. At all. She treats them like dirt? And she's supposed to be 'in love' with them? Wait until she turns on you - and she only 'likes' you!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
landshark Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Good God man, she sounds terrible and doesn't really know what an Alpha is...but she will seemingly always find men who have porous to no boundaries who will put up with her nonsense and unreasonably aggressive behavior. As for crying, yeah, crying in a club is a no no, especially over a shrew like this but yes, men cry, mostly in private, though...might want to teach her a little bit about guys before she chews up the next boundaryless soul... Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 She deserves a Dog. Not a man. Because that's what she really wants. Obedient, loyal, and spineless. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 She actively seeks men who are weak and have low self-esteem. They are much easier to 'control' and she can carry on fooling herself that she's an Alpha. But she is as dysfunctional and damaged as her father. He crapped on her mother so she, to prevent herself from also becoming a 'victim' has become an abuser, like her father. She's in serious need of help. But be careful - you try telling her this, and she may turn on you, and badly. I doubt she will be in any frame of mind to thank you for your insight. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 She deserves a Dog. Not a man. Because that's what she really wants. Obedient, loyal, and spineless. She tries this on a dog and eventually, even a dog will retaliate and bite. So yeah. tell her to get a dog..... Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Sge sounds like a great catch. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 You said she was abused as a child, so her need to control her boyfriend probably stems from feeling so OUT of control as a child. If she forces someone to stay in line, they cannot hurt her. But that doesn't excuse her behavior, and he was lucky to get away from her. She needs some pretty intensive therapy to find out why she treats men like this, and to learn some new ways to think, feel, and behave. And yes - of course men cry. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Sounds like Erica found herself a guy who was mentally/emotionally f*cked up, and made a point of f*cking him up even more. Great choice in best friends. Yeah, that's like being best-friends with a guy who beats his girlfriend into submission. Says a lot about the character of the poster if she keeps people like that in her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 She doesn't sound like an Alpha at all. An Alpha doesn't need to bring others down in order to bring themselves. The fact that she does this shows how weak she is inside. It's no different than an abusive man. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 just because a guy cries doesnt mean they are emotionally unstable or suffer from self esteem issues, in fact, i feel it is the opposite they are comfortable enough in their own personal space and masculinity to express exactly what and how they are feeling...... and your friend erica .......behaved badly.....showing more defined signs of mental discourse than the guy in my opinion..deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 just because a guy cries doesnt mean they are emotionally unstable or suffer from self esteem issues, in fact, i feel it is the opposite they are comfortable enough in their own personal space and masculinity to express exactly what and how they are feeling...... and your friend erica .......behaved badly.....showing more defined signs of mental discourse than the guy in my opinion..deb I've only cried when friends of mine died. That and during really sad movies like Old Yeller. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I've only cried when friends of mine died. That and during really sad movies like Old Yeller. thats you though and you have a right to cry.... when ever you feel the need...as every human should...it isnt about self esteem its about personal self expression......i cried during old yeller too so i relate...;0)....i cried in armageddon as well.....doesnt matter when you cry or dont cry everyone is different and reacts differently.........in my opinion....what matters more is how you treat others...and if you constantly upset someone with no personal thought to their well being just because they are a man...that's a character flaw on the behalf of the woman....acceptance compassion and understanding are not hard traits to keep or to want to have................deb Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 As men we are expected to tough things out. Breakups with women we love can be hard. What a lot of women don't realize break ups are very hard for a man. One reason is because society doesn't allow us to be as emotional as women so that is why seeing or hearing about a man cry has you wondering. I mean look at it men attempt to vent about frustrations about women on here and it's met with so much negativity. All you hear is move on or man up but the truth is a person can't do either until they actually deal with the emotions. Women are lucky because in real life they have that support system of other women that allow them to be emotional. Men don't have that. Link to post Share on other sites
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